INTAN WESTWICK.

283: GOODBYE BLOGGER!

2009-09-16T00:32:00.001+08:00

Hi, I've moved. Please relink.

http://intanina.tumblr.com

282: Pieces of me.

2009-09-15T03:31:00.003+08:00

I wanted to post these yesterday but Blogger was acting like a bitch. Fortunately, it's back to normal now heh. Haziq and I were bored so we exchanged embarrassing comments on Tagged. Please click for actual size:

Laugh eh please laugh.

Oh this is my favourite lol.

"It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself. I love how you can tell. All the pieces, pieces of me."

You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days haven't gone so fast. These are some good times, so take a look around. You may not know it but you're gonna miss this. I'm treasuring all the times we're having, all the laughters and smiles we created together. But are you?

Oh my god. I am seriously in the state of extreme boredom right now. So bored that I am watching random music videos on YouTube and reading www.fmylife.com. Simply hilarious!

I feel like watching Gossip Girl all over again. I heard that season 3 premiers today in the USA. So not fair! I want my Chuck Bass please :(

281: You know I could use somebody.

2009-09-14T05:10:00.003+08:00

Blogger is really getting on my last nerve. I've been trying since last night to upload photos but still to no avail. Tsk!

Sidetracked, yesterday = mundane. Spent the whole day at home and Mum cooked spaghetti for break fast. Yum yum! Anyways after break fast, little sister + me followed grandparents to the John Little Mega Sale @ Expo. Granny wanted buy new bedsheets for our beds and I had the urge to buy a new dress. Bought a new dress for $10. I love my new dress please! Very feminine, I like heh. Wanted to buy another dress but decided to pass since the price was quite unreasonable. So anyways after shopping, we went to Simpang Bedok cause granny had a sudden craving for ice kacang and I had a sudden craving for satay. Hehe so yeah went there and satisfied our cravings. Home sweet home right after that.

Been feeling really really cranky for no apparent reason. Perhaps my period is coming really soon so that's why I've been feeling this way. Anyways a big thank you to Sha for hearing me out all night long eventhough I pissed you off very badly by throwing tantrums + was extremely rude to you for the first time ever. Haha now you know eh! Cb right always make me angry. Now it's your turn lor! Oh yeah thanks for being nice and actually made the conversation ALL ABOUT ME after so loooooooong. Thank you for telling me why you always insult each and every guy I dated/like. Hehe sweet bodoh! Kan bagus if everyday kau gini. Ahhhh okay go aku sayang kau gile babi pasal kau cute k! Alahai confirm after this I kena hammer sia by the psycho. Sodey!

280: Bros over hoes.

2009-09-13T01:27:00.005+08:00

Another happy family photo consists of Alhaziq Shafeez, Nurulnadiah, Intan Amanina and Syahmi Iswaidee. Credits to Nad :)

It's 1.28am and I just woke up. So prolly gonna stay up til Sahur but I think I shall sleep back after Sahur. Feeling very, very lethargic I swear.

My day was mundane cause someone pissed me off. No, not Eyan. I dislike people checking through my handphone especially if you don't have any right to. Which explains why I'm putting that someone on ignore right now. Or maybe I was just overreacting about the whole thing since I was so lethargic and it made me feel cranky. Maybe I'm just tired of giving in to you each time since you're going through a "hard time" of your life. Whatever lah. So annoyed, sick and tired of you.

A shout out to Haziq: Thank you brudder lupxz slash bapak for hearing my rants heh. You're the best! (Y)

Today will be rotting at home. Sundays are always boring. Plus I am feeling really really really cranky. Must be due to lack of sleep so this means I really need to get more sleep.

I love Ciku.

279: Twitter.

2009-09-12T00:05:00.003+08:00

Hi, I am addicted to Twitter. And I have nothing interesting to update on about yesterday. On a brighter note, will be spending the day with Eyan in town. Okay that's all and I love Twitter!

278: Shopping w Jann & Ameera

2009-09-11T00:02:00.003+08:00

I had an enjoyable day indeed yesterday. I meet Jann up at Sengkang and we proceeded to Orchard by train. Ameera was a little late so we waited for her at Rubi in Ion. I showed Jann the heels I've been eyeing and soon after Ameera came. I actually thought of buying the heels but decided to walk around first in case there's something nicer and even cheaper. So we went to Wisma and went to Forever 21 + Cotton On + Max & More. Nothing was appealing to our eyes so we walked around some more to find our heels. Walked to Far East hoping that we'll find what we're looking for. Walk rounds and rounds then finally Jann and I bought the same heels from Giovanna in Far East which only costs $24! Very cheap I know and it's peep toe. I have a fetish for peep toe heels heh! Afterwhich, we walked back to Ion cause Ameera finally made up her mind to just buy 2 pair of flats from Rubi for Hari Raya. Luck wasn't really on Ameera's side cause her size wasn't available for the flats she wanted. She then ended up buying a pair of red peep toe flats and a pair of gold flats.

After she purchased the items, we headed down to Bugis by train. Went to Haji Lane to do my pedicure. Hehe I love my nails now please! By 5pm, Jann had to head home. Exchanged hugs and parted ways with her. Ameera and I thought of buying a top/dress from Bugis Street but nothing caught our eyes. It was boring and there was nothing new but the usuals. But then I fell in love with this pink oversize shirt. But sadly the price was unreasonable. Ameera wanted to get school shoes from Dorothy Perkins but sadly again her size wasn't available. So she bought the one from Topshop. By 6.30pm, we made our way back to her home in Tampines.

Had girl talks + tried on the shoes we bought while I straightened my hair after breaking fast. Used her desktop for awhile and chatted with Alhaziq Shafeez. By 10plus, grandparents came to fetch me and home sweet home.

Later will be Geylang-ing with Farah and friends. It has been awhile since I hung out with them so hopefully we'll have tons of fun like we always did.

-

Nobody understands how much I love you. I love talking to you and doing the things we do. I try not to admit it to myself but I feel this way all the time. Nobody knows that I wake up thinking of you everyday. I would give up everything I have to be everything we're not right now.

I dare not to say I love you although I know it's true. That phrase has been so much abused, misunderstood and overused.

Perhaps someday everything will all make perfect sense. For now I guess I shall laugh at the confusion, smile through tears and keep reminding myself that everything happen for a reason.

277: Because I'm Chuck Bass.

2009-09-10T00:09:00.004+08:00

"Because I'm Chuck Bass."

Oh yes Chuck, I love you very much because you're Chuck Bass. HAHAHAHA okay I'm extremely annoying today. I started this entry not with one but three huge pictures of Ed Westwick. Hehe yum yum!

Sidetracked, I went to Geylang with Mum + little sister yesterday. Mum insisted I get my pink baju kurung by the day itself cause I'm really really really choosy. And if she were to follow my choosy attitude, til next year also I won't have the pink baju kurung for Hari Raya heh. So yeah after walking rounds and rounds + commenting on almost every pink baju kurung I see (which mostly either look like the curtains or look like baju pengantin), I finally bought my pink baju kurung from a shop in Joo Chiat Complex. Hehe I'm a very happy girl now and very very very excited for Hari Raya! Cannot wait uh siul. Anyways bumped into Syabby who was working at Bimla. Plus bumped into Tasha when I was about to order food for break fast. So yeah broke fast at the hawker centre. Afterwhich, we went home straightaway.

Later will be going shopping + pedicure with Jann! Oh my god it's been like a million years since we've met and hung out. I'm so sexcited to spend time with this lovely friend which I've known since primary school!

I'm gonna have pink toe nails very very soon to match my baju kurung heh! Next week I'll go for manicure and my fingernails will be pink as well. Anyways why I don't want to go for manicure tomorrow as well if you ask: wells it is because if I go for manicure now, I'm afraid my pink nails won't make it to Hari Raya. So I am gonna for my manicure + henna with the girls next week. Hehe another event to look forward to!

Okay lemme end this entry with a video:

HAHAHAHA OMG SO CUTE RIGHT I KNOW!

I love the accent. I love you, Chuck Bass. HAHAHAHA!

276: Promise In The Dark

2009-09-09T01:36:00.004+08:00

Cause when I start thinking about it, I almost forgot what it was like to love and loved by someone. When you speak, it's like a song. Just like that all my walls come down. Everybody else just fades away and sometimes it gets hard to breathe.

Maybe voicing out what I feel wasn't the best idea. Maybe it's true: the more you reveal your emotions, the more chances you'll get hurt. Perhaps the truth is we're still young. We've got time to mess up, things to do that we might regret plus hearts to break and mend.

One day it would be really nice if someone would surprise me with a stupid love song outside my bedroom window while the rain pour with big pretty pink balloons? Okay dream on intan -.-

Just a random photo of me and brother when we were really young. Omg I really missed those curls I had when I was younger! :(

Sidetracked, my day was mundane I swear. I woke up at 2pm eventhough I slept quite early which is at almost 4am. Yes, that's counted as early to me lol. See how my sleeping pattern have worsen.

I still have the overpowering urge to go shopping. I should really stop buying things that I want and instead buy the ones that I need. Like example, I need a flannel top from either Topshop and Forever 21 soon. Okay alright, maybe that's a want. But I really really really want it :(

Can't believe that Raya in less than 2 weeks time yay! But on a sour note, I still haven't get my pink baju kurung cause I'm too choosy + fickle minded. Plus of course, a pair of heels! Nevertheless, I am super sexcited for Raya cause I need $$$ for shopping badly heh.

275: The Proposal

2009-09-08T01:44:00.008+08:00

Hi, I had a fruitful day yesterday with Nad and Leez. The day started off with me waking up at 1.30pm when I was suppose to meet her in Town by 2.15pm! But I managed to get ready in less than an hour and quickly proceeded to Town. Meet up with Nad at Somerset mrt before rushing to Cineleisure to get 3.10pm show for The Proposal. Shall elaborate more on the movie later heh! So yeah after the movie, we walked to Far East cause I wanted to buy my flower hairclip. We went to reserve a table for break fast at Puncak before finding my flower hairclip. Finally got the flower hairclip in pink from Chamelon and Nad even bought one for herself. Hehe so cute please! Walked rounds and rounds cause I thought of buying a dress. Sadly nothing was appealing enough to my eyes.
Sat outside Far East and camwhored while waiting for Leez to arrive. He was late and so we decided to walk around Far East again. Finally he was arriving and we waited for him outside the mall. He came and we proceeded to Puncak as break fast time was less than 30 minutes. Shared jokes and stories while waiting for break fast time. Then finally it was and as usual we finished our food in less than 30 minutes cause we were famished.

After our meals, we walked to Orchard Central cause Nad and I thought of giving Syaffy a surprise visit at his workplace. Unfortunately he wasn't on duty and we walked around the mall as it was somehow our first time there. Camwhored as we walked rounds and rounds. By almost 9pm, we decided to head back home.

More photos as usual are up on Multiply :)

The Proposal is indeed a must-watch for romantic comedy lovers. I rate it 5/5 and of course two thumbs up! It'll make you laugh til your stomach hurts and it'll somehow bring you to tears too heh cause very touching lor! Ryan Reynolds is very cute please. Ugh so huggable sia! Anyways the movie is about a pushy boss forces her young assitant to marry her in order to keep her Visa status in the US and avoid deportation to Canada. It's now showing in the cinemas near you right now!

I have to say that I am simply in love with my pink flower hairclip! Hehe it's like my new favourite item now. Like I said bunga mainkan peranan penting eh sekarang lol. I think I'm gonna get more flower hairclips in all sort of colours!

I have a feeling I'm gonna have more fruitful days ahead! Will be going on a karaoke session slash break fast @ Geylang with Zee and friends on Thursday. The next day which is on the Friday, will break fast @ Geylang again but this time with Farah and friends. Saturday will be dating Eyan out heh. Brudder lupxz slash geng kambing, when are we gonna finally meet up? :(

A happy family consists of Alhaziq Shafeez, Nurulnadiah, Intan Amanina and Syahmi Iswaidee. Haziq and Nad are the parents while Syahmi and I are the kids lol. Haziq, misai mainkan peranan penting eh hahahaha mautxz sia! Syahmi drew this, so credits to him.

Feelings never make any sense at all. They get you all confused and then they drive you for hours before they drop you right back where you start. I'm getting a little confused myself now and I think whatever escapes my lips doesn't make any sense, not even one bit. Alright now I know you're gonna say this: since when whatever intan says make sense at all? Haha thank you very much eh :P

Three words, eight letters, three syllables. Say it and I might be yours.

274: That's what you get.

2009-09-07T00:04:00.005+08:00

"Wonder if he knows he's all I think about tonight."

Hi, the past few days were blissful yet painful and my weekend had been a total bore. Been rotting at home and hogging the laptop + blasting music into my ears so I won't hear my thoughts. But it's stupid cause the lyrics seem to remind me of what I'm trying to forget. The more I want to push the feelings away, the stronger it grows. Ugh I really hate myself when my heart just refused to let my mind win.

I don't know why I bother ruining the pretty little flower when I know perfectly he loves me not. It feels like the whole world is crashing or even the sky is going to fall. All I did was to fantasize all day and night, just to keep on smiling. But when I'm slapped back to reality, everything goes otherwise. That's when my self esteem start to deplete.

Unfortunately, life isn't a romance song. The girl doesn't always get her guy. No one can understand the meaning of these eyes. But it wouldn't hurt if you at least try. Cause all I wanna do now is to tell you how beautiful you are, inside and out.

I promise I'll be there when your heart stop beating, when your last breath's taken away, in the dark when there's no one listening and in the times when we both get carried away. Cause the sun lights my through day, the moon and stars light my way at night but you light my way through life.

Anyways I shall pretend that these things doesn't occur. On a completely different note, I need to go shopping soon. I'm suffering from fashion crisis!

Blogger is being a bitch again and I can't upload photos. Curse you Blogger! :(

/EDITED!

Cause when the sun rises, I'm not gonna be there like the way I used to be. I'm gonna stop chasing and running in circles around you. At the same time, my heart still wants to be the one who you count on at times of cold. It wants you to know that in this world, you're never going to walk alone.

When I think about my feelings for you, it makes me feel small and insignificant. Tonight as I look at the stars, I realise that I am starting to know my place among them. What was I thinking? Dreaming of someone like you, someone who would never take even a look at me.

And I'm really really really starting to hate the fact that I'm not born with beautiful looks or body of a size zero model because then I'd get whoever/whatever I want. Well I should accept the fact that I have no looks or a nice body. I'm starting to get over it. Next year = starve starve starve.

Please kindly handover back my life because I'm leading this one without soul.

HAHAHAHA INTAN AMANINA, WHY SO DRAMATIC? -.-

273: too lost in you

2009-09-06T00:01:00.003+08:00

"You undo me and move me in ways undefined."

Cause I know you're much more than just how you look. You're worth much more than you think. You brighten my world with your eyes. I wish I could wake up everyday to the sound of your breathe on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of my fingers on my skin and the feel of your heart beating with mine. Who knew I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

You don't choose who you fall for. You just fall and get this person who is so wrong, but yet so right. You know you like him/her so much. Sometimes they drive you insane and no one can explain it, even yourself.

God determines who walks into your life. But it's up to you to decide who you're letting to walk away, who you're letting to stay and who you refuse to let go.

Imagine if I have this notebook whereby I write the love story I dream of. And then life would magically occur orderly according to what's written. Life would be so wonderful! Ugh dream on intan!

I've given you the key to my heart and it's hanging around your neck.

272: Crushed.

2009-09-05T03:01:00.004+08:00

Cause I knew it was too good to be true and I do not deserve you at all.

271: Unspeakable.

2009-09-04T01:05:00.005+08:00

Yesterday broke fast in Town with Jaja. The initial plan was actually to go karaoke with Mizee and Izmir but they backed out at the last minute. So I went to accompany Jaja shopping around Town. Then we broke our fast at Cahaya. Afterwhich, we headed down to Bugis by train. Jaja bought a dress + tights from Bugis Street. Home sweet home by bus.

I've been dropping hints and confessing my unspeakable feelings indirectly through my blog posts to that someone, hoping he will actually realise it. But instead someone else thought I was referring to him! Sodey please. Why oh why?!

It seems like my every try at love will never work out. I think I'm born to be a spinster and stay single forever uh. Shall get a cat soon as a companion (when I'm actually scared of cats HAHA).

And notice why I never post any emo quotes today? I think I might have stop trying to confess my love indirectly. I think I might have give up on the whole thing since he will never realise it and what more, return my love. What a sad life I'm leading! Okay now I sound emo. Please add me on my new msn: lonelysoul@hotmail.com please thank you!

HAHAHAHA okay that was a joke. Please do not add! I am not that desperate lol. Sidetracked, I cannot wait for Raya cause I want $$$ so I can buy this faded jeans jacket! And I'm gonna drag Mum to go shopping with me soon. I totally fell in love with these hot pink heels for Rubi. So geram!

270: Hidden Feelings.

2009-09-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

It's really amazing how close Alhaziq Shafeez, Syahmi and I have become in just a few days time. We could talk for hours and we never out of topic to talk about. From imitating a minahrep/matrep to emo kids. And even chinese gamers! Whoever we're gonna imitate and make fun of next, I'm sure we're gonna have so much fun lol.

If I had to come up with 'Who I Want To The Most', for sure the first in list would be Geng Kambing! They have been lightening up my days with alot of laughter and make me feel that I'm one lucky girl who owns the nicest people around. Thank you and BruDd3r LuPxZ f0ReVa PlzZ!

On a completely different note, can someone stop me from staying up late and have enough sleep? My eyebags are getting fatter and worser by day. (Geng Kambing's quote:) Sodey please!

-

"You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized."

Don't you know baby that they don't see you the way I do. The way I feel for you, the way I know you can never feel for me. What is in my heart is an unsaid truth. It will remain with me and I'll hold it in my quiet arms.

Everytime we communicate, I get this funny feeling inside. I keep telling myself that I'm no good for you. But you touched my heart and wouldn't let go. It's much too late, I'm in love with you.

We can talk about so many things and almost everything. But why does my throat close whenever it comes to feelings? I would feel too shy to tell you and it feels so much safer to watch you from afar with no rejections.

I want so badly for you to tell me everything I wanna hear but you never will. Everytime I think of you, I can feel the butterflies fluttering inside me. You never seem to notice the way I see you. Maybe cause you only see me as a friend and nothing more.

Sesungguhnya aku tidak berkuasa untuk dirindui, mahupun merindu. Biarlah hanya detik-detik indah ini bermain di kotak fikiran seperti pita rakaman berulang siarannya. Kepastian kasih kita tidak pernah akan didefinasikan di kamus cinta. Kenyataan yang membuai perasaan ini hanya dibukukan di dalam jiwa hingga akhir masa.

269: Can't you see?

2009-09-02T02:01:00.002+08:00

Another random outing with Dini yesterday lol. Meet her up at Sengkang mrt and headed to Vivo City. Initially we wanted to break fast at Es Teler @ Cineleisure but Dini had a sudden craving for Carrot Cake. So yeah settled down and ordered our food then broke fast when it's time. Had a great time sharing stories while we eat heh. After the meal, we walked around Vivo City to survey heels for Hari Raya. Then we were approached by these sales girls for a temporary perm. The curls were awesome! Eventhough I looked like a bimbo lol. Then when to Unity pharmacy to buy Dini's hair dye before heading home by bus.

"Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time."

Cause you don't know my love for you is an unspeakable secret. Just like an unreachable dream. I wanna believe it might be an unforgettable love. Or perhaps an irreversible regret.

They say, you never lose by loving but you always lost by holding back. I think I rather lose and hold everything back. I think I've already officially lost. And what's more shocking, the fight haven't even started.

But sometimes the only thing you're looking for is the only thing you can't see.

268: I'm here now.

2009-09-01T04:00:00.003+08:00

SYAHMI aka MIMI SANCHI WON BOTH GAMES! Sad lor he never give me chance lol. I think I'm the one who gave him chance, that's why he won. HAHAHAHA brudder lupxz what!
-
Look this way for once, I am here. You may ask as much love as your heart desires for I am here. Just with a smile, you would steal my heart away. Never give it back cause what is there without you, boy.

Love is like the wind. You can't see it but you can feel it.

267: This crush ain't going away.

2009-08-31T13:04:00.006+08:00

My days went pretty well I guess except yesterday cause I didn't get to see Anberlin. Thanks to everyone who has made that happen. Sigh! Friends remain as escapism of all unwind complications. Thank you for hearing my every serious issue and awful whinings.

I feel like catching myself realising that beautiful words from a special someone would successfully make the start of a happy day. That would be the moment when I know this special someone would increase the number of my hearbeats every second.

But sometimes I think my feelings shouldn't be the main concern. Sometimes letting your mind control your heart would be the best opinion to avoid problems. I want to start setting priorities right. As you can see I'm still struggling to fit in this demanding life which requires unlimited tolerance. In other words, I'm still confused and clueless.

I believe that if it's meant to be, it will naturally or even magically happen and it's no use pushing it too hard. Meanwhile, take this sad song and make it better. Play it with more passion and soul. But for now, the drummer would conquer this fantasy of mine.

Maybe someday I'll be the most beautiful girl in his thoughts. He'll stare into my eyes and we'll exchange words we certainly meant. And he shall rule my entire world now til end.

But then again life is no cinderella story for a girl like me. The drummer is like this star I know I can never reach but it is what I always wanted. I know who I am and who am I compared to the other girls. They're all very attractive. Everyone wants an attractive lover, yes? And sadly I'm far from attractive.

266: Baybeats 1

2009-08-30T00:26:00.006+08:00

Hi, I'm dead beat and sorry for not updating yesterday. Had a wonderful day yesterday and the day started off with me meeting Jaja and Nad at City Hall mrt. Break fast time was still a few hours away so we walked around Marina Square before settling down at the staircase near the circle thingy. We camwhored, touched up our make up and talked. By 6.15pm we made our way to the food court cause we feared we might not get seats for break fast. So sat there and camwhored some more heh. We ogled at this guy who sat a table away hehe.

Almost 7pm, we bought our food and drinks. Soon after it was finally break fast time. We were done eaten in less than 20 minutes cause we were so hungry lol! After the meal, we went to the toilet for another touch up before heading to Esplanade for Baybeats.

Nad's friends joined us and we watched Tabasco from Thailand performed. After the performance, we chilled nearby the Powerhouse stage. Watched Meza Virs halfway cause Jaja and I had to meet Susan for awhile nearby the padang. Meet her up and exchanged hugs before Susan proceeded somewhere else with her friends. Jaja and I then meet up with Mizee and Izmir at City Hall mrt before walking back to Baybeats with them.

Saw Ajie and friends so I acknowledged them. Watched Love Me Butch from Malaysia and by 10pm, I had to head back home. The whole gang wanted to head down to Clarke Quay so they sent me to City Hall mrt first. Hehe thank you guys love you all! As usual photos are up on Multiply heh :)

So yeah overall Baybeats was great like I expected it to be. Tomorrow might be another day at Baybeats and I so cannot wait cause:

ANBERLIN IS PERFORMING LIVE YAY!

265: We're one and the same.

2009-08-28T00:04:00.005+08:00

Calling all Guitar Hero fans!

Sign up for Guitar Hero at Nebo Cafe @ Ehub right now and you'll get 3 hours of free board gaming + 1 hour of Wii gaming + a free drink = ULTIMATE FUN!

Non Member: $15
Nebo Member: $5

Instead of those boring movie dates, you might wanna do this activity with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Hehe especially if your boyfriend/girlfriend is a Guitar Hero slash game freak (Y)

Do you want to know what I miss most? I miss the craziest time I had with Farah. I miss the saddest moments I had with her at times to see her tearfully. I miss the sexy promises we used to make in getting the same cool clothes. I miss the cute arguements we had whenever she commented on my undeniable stupid actions and ended up with laughters. Importantly, I miss Farah who used to stand with me for the almost 2 years with funny gossips to share everyday.

We may not be as close as we were today. But I shall not grieve over the past and just smile cause we used to be. You once created pretty memories along with me and craved a mark in my life. Thank you Farah! You know that whenever you need me, I'm just a call away. I still love and miss you bodoh :)

"Romeo, save me. I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting but you never come."

I wanna be the most beautiful girl in his thoughts. It will be the most extraordinary special thing.

Well everyone longed for a perfect life. We had our minds upon these unneccassary things and left those faithfully standing things unremembered. Because now we take things for granted. I wished I had valued those things I've lost. Now I just need someone to wake me up from this fantasy I believe in. I've always thought that the storyline of my life would somewhat occur like some in novels. I need someone to prove me that this thing that doubts me either exist or otherwise.

Now tell me what's your definition of true love. Cause mine is giving someone the power to destroy but trusting them not to.

Oh and before I forget:

BAYBEATS 2009 IS FINALLY HERE!

Alright see you folks on Saturday and Sunday ;)

264: Let me catch my breath.

2009-08-27T00:02:00.004+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday, Dini!

I can't believe we're actually friends cause everyone knows that we never talked to each other when we were schooling in PHSS lol. Sorry cause in the past I thought you were kerek but in fact you're one of the best people to hang out and go a movie date with. Haha anyways I wish you all the best in life and may all your dreams come true. Hope you'll have a memorable birthday with your loved ones. Heh love you dini mwah! (L)

You know, they say that you don't know what you're about to lose when you actually lost them. I know no matter how much I treasure and cherish these beautiful things, I'm gonna lose them altogether in some way. There is one little thing that make me smile whenever I think about it and how much it brought me to laugthers and shed my sorrows. But I've lost it. No matter what those beautiful memories had become part of me that I never wanna lose.

I can sit and laugh with friends at what we've been through. But I still have to catch a breath when someone mentions you. Maybe you're still the one my breath is tied to? I thought I've moved on and put those dreams away.

A girl can wait for the right man to come along. But in the meantime, that doesn not mean I can't have a wonderful time with the wrong one right?

Time is running eventhough the days seem to pass by so slowly. But my lips is somehow heavy to say the simplest things that my hearts wants to.

On a completely different note, I miss Eyan and my prepaid's low = no texting him all day + late night phone calls. Syahmi owes me an ice cream eventhough we knew each other only for a few hours. Our conversation is filled with laughter due to my late night crap lol. See you at Baybeats so I can redeem my ice cream heh :)

263: My faith in you was fading.

2009-08-26T00:11:00.004+08:00

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langka
Yang menyakinimu
Kau tercipta untukku

Mesti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Kau ingin kau tahu
Ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

And is there a boy out there who can make me feel secure? Tonight and every other night, I wonder what do I really want and what do I actually deserve. A few might think I'm being unreasonable for dumping Faris and I overracted in certain issues and problems. I give stupid unreliable statements that caused several parties to be very, very unhappy including my mother. I want to select the right mutiple choices available right now. But I'm not sure where will I be going next, whatever I choose, whoever will be around me. Yes, I know that people come and go in life. I will never get to choose the choice where everybody stays and make each other happy. But I want that please.

Maybe the truth is I want to run away but afraid of what I've got to lose. I want to stop believing and being deceive by something which I thought was real and then break again. I didn't know forgiving and forgetting isn't as simple as it sounds. I wanna reset and start all over again from the moment nothing painful had ever happened. Well I can only afford my most sincere apology to that one person who had been hurt because of my restlessness. My inspeciality had ruined a perfect relationship, actually.

It's funny to see how people got so ticked off by the slightest mistakes. It's funnier to realise that I'm of them as well. It's never easy understanding me and I never told you it was that simple. Maybe the reason why I never figured out what is the best for me is because I never fully escape from my fantasies. For my whole life, I've been picturing the future would probably turn out like the movies and novels. I tried to convince myself that life is no cinderella story but what hurts the most is that learning what is in real life would make you feel so small and fall apart.

All I need is someone to sing me a love song. And maybe meant every word that escapes from his lips. Eventhough I'll be too captivated with his beautiful eyes to understand what he is singing about.

262: Break Your Little Heart

2009-08-25T00:27:00.004+08:00

Where you used to be, there is a hole in my heart. I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

As I look back on all that has happened. Growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me. There were times when we dreamt together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly loved you. The past may have be gone forever and whatever the future holds, you'll always carry my smile with you.

Maybe I'm just no good without you.

I seriously have nothing to blog about and my day was mundane. And I am broke = cannot break fast outside with friends. Very saddening please! Plus my prepaid's low = no more late night phone calls :(

I'm out of movies to watch also. Anyone has good movies to recommend? No horror/thriller please. I do not have the courage to watch horror/thriller movies alone on the laptop. Late at night some more!

I miss watching Gossip Girl. Season 3 please come out faster leh! Can't wait to know what happens next to my favourite GG couple: Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. They're so cute together please!

My craving for dendeng is getting more and more intense by day. Must go to Geylang very, very soon to get it already lol.

And oh yeah, 2 night ago I had a very random dream. I dreamt that Ahmad Faruq Bin Rozali break fast at my house. -.- It's been ages since we've talked and suddenly I dreamt of him. Eh sorry not dream but nightmare. HAHAHAHA!

Okay this is officially a very messy and random post lol. Alrighty me wanna chat online and maybe watch some random movie. Later!

TAG REPLIES!
L2: If you're missing my granny's cookings, come and serang my house during raya. Cannot sabar oi please nak raya! Me miss you, so must break fast outside soon when I'm no longer broke.
Shaiful: Hello and you're linked. :D
****: ZIELA! I thought who sia -.-
Faruq: HAHAHAHA okay dah share kan through msn. NIGHTMARE OI!
Zafrirocker: Band ape? Band cina mampus eh? HAHAHAHA you owe me dinner treat lol.

261: Complicated Love.

2009-08-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

At the first glimpse of you, I swear I couldn't move. I wanted to run away to the nearest exit yet a part of me wanted so dearly to stay. I tried my best to look away and I did. I know I did. But now I wonder what if I didn't. Time eased the pain, but it yet to erase it. Someday I know I won't regret this decision. You're no longer on my wanted list.

We're all dragged into this complicated love story.

My heart was empty, I touched him and I felt warmth. I held on tight and tried to stop the time. At that time I was afraid to find out the meaning and to let the feeling that suffocate me grow. But now I would guard his heart. I won't go away and leave him alone.

Now you're no longer my everything and not the place to end my journey. The past is all over and I shall let the rain wash away your traces. Throw away all the poetry about us. We'll never make another memory.

No I don't break bones, just hearts.

- Go Go Gadget Heart by Amy Can Flyy

On a different yet bright note, my period came = no need to fast yay! :D

260: I Belong To Me

2009-08-23T00:35:00.004+08:00

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby. It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby. And I won't give up me to be part of you. It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby. It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby. Before I open up my heart to you.

I belong to me. I don't belong to you. My heart is my possession. I'll be my own reflection. I belong to me. I'm one not half of two. And if you're gonna love me. You should know this baby. I belong to me.

Yes, I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic online yesterday. The movie is hilarious please! I rate it 5/5 and give it two thumbs up. (Y) I'm sure most of you have watched it so I shall not elaborate more. What I know now is: I WANNA GO SHOPPING! :(

Sidetracked, first day of the fasting month went smoothly. Surprisingly, I did not feel thirsty or even hungry which is obviously a good thing. I didn't come out from my room til it was like almost 6pm heh.

Anyways me is craving for dendeng. Yum yum! But I hate going to Geylang during this holy month cause it's gonna be packed with people. And there will be M&Ms like everywhere. Such an eyesore please!

259: Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

2009-08-22T00:04:00.002+08:00

Happy 16th Birthday, Ameera!

May all your dreams and wishes come true babe! Plus all the best for your upcoming N level examination. Oh and please stop saying you're fat. You're not even near the word fat please. But no matter whatever shape you're in, you're still the best cousin. Oh yeah when wanna get married to one of your M boys uh uh uh? Me wanna makan free uh what else lol. Hehe okay love you like no other mwah! (L)

Kepada semua umat islam di seluruh dunia, saya ingin mengucapkan selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak and menunaikan ibadat puasa. Moga bulan mulia ini dipenuhi dengan keberkatan dan dimurahkan rezeki. Amin!

If don't fast, no need to raya okay. Baju raya semua boleh pergi campak kat dalam tong cina sembahyang and bakar. Kasi hungry ghosts pakai! HAHAHAHA okay lame I know -.-

This year I'm gonna try to fast full heh. I wanna lose weight so badly lor! I know this is just the first day of Ramadhan but I'm already super excited for Hari Raya lol. The colour for this year will be my favourite colour which is none other than: pink. I know I know so cute right please hehe!

Sidetracked, I watched 27 Dresses and What Happens In Vegas yesterday online. I know most of you have prolly watched this two movies. So I shall not elaborate more on them and bore you people lol. But I must say the character Jack Fuller (Ashton Kutcher) from What Happens In Vegas reminds me alot of Faris cause he's so clumsy and reckless. Just like Faris, he still acts like kid eventhough he's an adult. -.-

On totally different and sour note, I am broke. I'm left with 5 bucks in my wallet. Sad lor! Raya come faster leh. I want $$$! Then can go shopping at Cotton On and F21. I need more dresses please!

258: Movie Date w Jaja

2009-08-21T00:51:00.005+08:00

Favourite photo of the day! (L)

I have so much to blog about today! Heh first of all, my movie date with Jaja went well. Meet this little girl up outside Cineleisure around 1plus in afternoon. Bought the tickets to Orphan as planned and watched the 2.10pm show. The movie was scary indeed and I rate it 4/5. Shall elaborate more on this movie plus Bring It On 5: Fight To The Finish later heh. (Y) So yeah after the movie, we were very hungry and decided to fill our empty stomach at Puncak in Far East. After lunch, we proceeded to Mum's workplace: Dr Cafe in Ion Orchard for frappe. Nek Siti was there so caught up with her over Strawberry Vanilla frappe + spicy chicken herb sandwhich = yummy please! As soon as I finish eating again, bid goodbye to Nek Siti + Mum and off to meet Syah. Initially Jaja and I wanted to go bowling at Marina Square but Syah wasn't up for it. So we walked around town before resting for awhile at Youth Park.

Introducing Syah, the flower boy!

Rock on! \m/

We then walked to Dhoby Ghaut and settled down at Istana Park. Chilled and camwhored there. Syah was feeling hungry so we went to Plaza Singapura. He bought takoyaki and we walked around the mall. Then something funny happened: we were walking and Jaja saw Sesame Street characters. She then said loudly, "Eh look! BIG BIRD and Elmo!" HAHAHAHA! Syah and I obviously had dirty thoughts and instantly laughed. Jaja joined us laughing and she laughed til her stomach hurts lol. We walked rounds and then I fell in love! I fell in love with:

Skull Candy headphone!

Suddenly I had an sudden yet intense craving for B&J's Chunky Monkey ice cream. So we proceeded to Ben & Jerry @ The Cathay. Bought my ice cream and we chilled + played games on Syah's iPhone. By 9.30pm, we parted ways with a hug.

Loves it! Hehe don't mind my busuk face.

I have one word to describe the main character Esther (Isabella Fuhrman) and the word is PSYCHO! She's seriously dangerously mentally disturbed. Her stares are worser than the stares you get from matreps/minahreps. So if she stares at you, please don't go, "what see see" or "what stare stare". Lu confirm + guarantee 100% kena smash to death by hammer sia!

Anyways the film centers on a couple who after the death of their unborn child, adopt a young girl who is hiding a dark secret behind her sweet facade. It is now showing on all cinemas near you. For thriller/horror movies lovers, this movie is a must-watch.

Watched this movie online last night and I rate it 5/5! I'm a big fan of all Bring It On movies and I must say, this is one of the best plus favourite. I don't think it's gonna be priemering in Singapore. At least not anytime soon. But if you wanna watch it, prompt me on MSN or leave a msg on my tagboard. I'll pass you the link :)

Cody Longo! (L)

Yes, he's the lead actor in the movie. And oh yes as you can see, he's obviously a total hottie! *squeals* In the movie, he plays Evan Whitbourne and he was a basketball player. Hehe wooooo I like!

Sidetracked, I just ended my phone conversation with Eyan. His nephew is so cute please! He's only 6 years old and he wanna date me. Guess the date he wanna date me out? 20 April 2009! -.- HAHAHAHA LOOOOOOOL if only I know anyone who can invent a time machine eh. Eyan uh ni go teach him all this stuff lol. But seriously so cute lah like the uncle. *coughs* Hehe had fun exchanging countless of teka-teki with Eyan and forcing each other to laugh at the answers eventhough it's not funny at all + super lame.

Alright this has been a very long post. I guess no one would really wanna read this bunch of crap but who cares. Okay me wanna watch 27 Dresses online. So ta for now!

257: Princess Protection Program

2009-08-20T00:09:00.003+08:00

I watched Princess Protection Program online yesterday and I rate it 5/5! Two thumbs up please. (Y) This movie starring real-life bestfriends Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez premiered in the USA on 26 June. But it will only be premiering in Singapore on 6 September.

Princess Protection Program official trailer!

Story line: When Princess Rosalinda (Demi Lovato) is about to become queen of her country, the palace was attacked by an evil dictator who put her mum on hostage. Rosalinda was then taken under the wing of Mason an agent from Lousiana. While there, she meets his daughter Carter (Selena Gomez) an insecure tomboy. The two become close friends with Carter teaching Rosalinda who then takes up the name Rosie to act like a normal American girl. Meanwhile Rosie helped Carter to find her inner princess. To know more, make sure you catch Princess Protection Program this 6 September on Disney channel!

After watching PPP, I realised how much I miss having a bestfriend to do all the girly stuff with me. You know like shopping, dressing up, painting each other's nails, etc. To be specific, I miss Naqiah Amira. She was my bestfriend since primary school but unfortunately, we drifted apart.

On a different yet brighter note, will be going on a movie date with Jaja later. We're gonna watch The Orphan at Cineleisure. Omg super excited please!

And I wanna be a princess too! Just like Princess Rosalinda. Haha okay dream on intan. -.- Alrighty me wanna watch Bring It On 5: Fight To The Finish now. So later!

256: I hate Wednesdays

2009-08-19T00:16:00.004+08:00

Happy Belated 16th Birthday, Rufini Suryani aka Feeney!

Someone can watch NC16 movies already lor now lol. May all your wishes and dreams come true. All the best for your upcoming N level examination. Okay love you mwah! (L)

Yesterday was alright. Headed to Woodlands as planned. My friend and I were walking to a void deck nearby when I was busy fixing my hair til I didn't notice there was a pole in front me. Yah lah my head hit the pole. Member syok only laugh at me lol. (Y) By 5.30pm, I was back in Hougang already. Had a sudden yet intense craving for popiah from Qiji. So what else, went to Qiji to satisfy my craving lor. I was like some loner, eat popiah alone one corner. Haha sad lor! Afterwhich, I rushed to the supermarket to buy coconut milk and coffee mix for my granny. Then home sweet home.

The photo above legend please. It was taken during my birthday celebration last year and yes I was drunk at that moment. Drunk til I cried hard for no reason. Don't know what was so sad til I cried. -.-

Sidetracked, my tagboard is so dusty. Oh you know what to do with it. Hehe you can hatetag all you want but of course, I won't entertain you. (Farah's quote:) Once spam, forever ban!

Girl meets boy, girl gets tired, girl flew away. Too bad in reality, that's the way things work. Life's not another cinderella story. Make your life meaningful, live life the way its worth living for.

Alrighty me wanna watch movie online. And today's Wednesday. Omg omg omg! *runs away and hide*

255: I like round people HAHA!

2009-08-18T12:11:00.000+08:00

I watched Up yesterday online. Russell is so cute please! And he reminds me of Ajie. So round and chubby! Hehe anyways yesterday equates to another mundane day. Surprisingly I didn't die of boredom. Supposed to chill at Woodlands but someone cancelled it last minute. So I rot at home again. I watched Hannah Montana season 2 the entire night before hitting the sheets around 1plus in the morning. I tend to sleep early these days cause the internet bore me now.

Suppose to meet Jaja for a movie date today but she can't make it cause she's going to rebond her hair with her mummy. So will be heading to Woodlands today yay! Then meeting Jaja on Thursday for the movie date.

Sidetracked, Blogger's acting like a bitch again. Stupid mother fucking server! Anyways fasting month is in less than a week. Hopefully I can fast full this time round except when it's the time of the month, of course. Usually I'd only fast on the first day and last day. Hehe hey, at least I'm being honest here.

254: Kallang Roar

2009-08-17T00:07:00.006+08:00

Had a very mundane Sunday. I think I almost die of boredom. So yeah spent the entire day at home. Did nothing much except eat, sleep and stare blankly at the laptop screen.

Watched the tv premiere of the movie Kallang Roar on Okto. Omg I totally love the sight of hot, sweaty soccer boys! *squeals* Haha but of course, I love musicians and skaterboys more. Anyways the movie was heart warming.

Sidetracked, I think there's something wrong with Mozilla and not Blogger. Cause when I use Safari to view Blogger site, it looks normal. But when I use Mozilla, it's little messy but can upload photos for now. Don't know til when this problem will last.

On a totally different note, will be heading down to Woodlands and chill later on in the afternoon with a friend. And of course, I am sexcited for my movie date with Jaja tomorrow! I haven't decide yet on what movie to watch. There's so many good movies to choose from and I'm confused please. Haha shall ask Jaja to pick one since I'm so fickle-minded.

Faris will be back in two days time. To look forward or not uh? Okay I'm so mean please. Yah lah we broke up. No, we did not break up because of third party. Stop assuming things please. I did not date anyone behind his back and I'm not even dating anyone now. I don't even intend to date anyone. At least not now.

253: Town/City Hall

2009-08-16T00:39:00.000+08:00

Saturday was well-spent with Apik, Sharul, Syazwan and Elfac. Meet up with the 3 boys first at Skatepark. They were famished so followed them to have lunch at Burger King in Cineleisure. Went to pay Mum a visit at Dr Cafe in ION Orchard. Mum gave us free drinks + Double Choc Muffin yay! Waited for Elfac outside ION Orchard. Not long after, she came and we walked aimlessly. Bumped into familiar faces including Fahfa outside Cineleisure. Headed down to City Hall by bus and hung out at Mirror. Saw Faiz + Ziela and shook hands. By 9.30pm, I wanted to head home but Mum texted me, asking me to meet her in Town. So headed to Town by train and meet up with Mum at Lucky Plaza. My little sister + cousin were watching a movie at Lido so while waiting, Mum and I went to Botak Jones @ Scape for dinner. After the filling meal, walked to Lido to fetch the kids and headed back home by taxi.

Shall grab photos from Syazwan's Multiply soon or I shall just post the link here since Blogger's still acting like a bitch.

252: Sinar Lebaran

2009-08-15T13:26:00.001+08:00

Sinar Lebaran was surprisingly enjoyable. Meet up with the girls at Hougang Interchange. Afterwhich, we proceeded to ljs for lunch. Faiz + Ziela came not long after. All the girls were wearing skinny jeans + kebaya top when I was the only one wearing baju kurung. -.- We went back to the interchange to take 74 straight after eating. Arrived at Caldecott way earlier than we're suppose to be. So we had to wait for like 2 hours!

By almost 9pm, we were finally seated and the show started. I must say: Suhaimi Yusof was obviously the life of the show as always. Syed Azmir was hotter than ever! *squeals* And of course, Wawan looks ultimately hot too in baju kurung. I like! ^^

Anyways the show ended around 11pm. Farah and Tini wanted to snap a photo with Wawan. So we waited for him at the reception in case he might show up while waiting for Anna's parents to fetch us by lorry. Unfortunately, Wawan did not show up and Anna's parents were already waiting for us. So we got on board the lorry. Yes, imagine me climbing up the lorry with my baju kurung kain and all. Okay laugh eh please laugh at the image. Sent Faiz off first at Kallang before Anna's parents decided we should have supper first at Changi. So headed down to Changi and I had the famous Nasi Lemak. After supper, the parents sent each of us home straight.

~~Blogger is being a bitch again and I can't upload photos. Grrr stupid lah!~~ Once I figure out how to use Tumblr, I shall move there. Or I might be just using my Livejournal. I deleted all the not needed emo posts there lol.

251: A.

2009-08-14T00:31:00.004+08:00

Happy Belated 18th Birthday, Nurul Syukriyah!

Happy Belated 19th Birthday, Tengku Muhd Daniel!

Blogger's back to normal (for now, at least) yay! Anyways had quite a nice day yesterday. I was actually lazy to go out. But since it was dearest Nurul's birthday, I went to her crib. Hung out there for awhile before heading down to Pasir Ris with her and Kirah to meet Sodiq. Had dinner at McDonalds before heading straight back home.

Currently I am in an extremely good mood. I think I may have developed a fetish for drummers. Haha alright, maybe just for a drummer. Hehe yum yum! *kenings naik-naik* Sidetracked, sent an email to Faris who's in Malaysia. I don't know if he's gonna read it soon or not. But I am very sure he won't be too happy when he reads it. Oh wells I don't need to elaborate more on that here now. What I know is that decision was entirely mine and he should not blame anyone but me.

Tomorrow will be going to Sinar Lebaran with the best girls + little sister. Next week is packed with plans. Movie date with Jaja which I'm totally looking forward to. Miss her like alot alot please! We have alot of catching up and bitching to do. Hehe sexcited! I can't believe I'm actually saying this but I'm looking forward to the month of Ramadhan too.

Intan: This year must puasa full.
A: Haha betul betul.
Intan: Eleh. Step puasa full only!
A: Relax sudah. I puasa full okay.
Intan: HAHAHAHA okay lah okay lah. Nak amik ni kiss! (instead of sending (K), I sent) (L)
A: Nak kasi kiss abeh send heart. How how how?
Intan: HAHAHAHA alamak. Sorry lah I accidentally give you my heart. I shall take it back now.
A: Haha okay can can. I give you back. BURUK SIKU!
Intan: HAHAHAHA!

Guys are always saying how hard it is to listen everytime the ladies shed tears. But do they actually know that they're apparently the reason we ladies no longer believe in promises?

250: Just one more time.

2009-08-13T12:54:00.001+08:00

I know the fact that I allow promising statments to escape from my lips eventhough I know I may not actually fulfill them is driving you and him crazy. You said follow my heart. But hey, my heart's in two pieces. Which way am I to follow? Give me one more day, one more time. One more sunset and maybe I'd be satisfied. But then again, I know what it would do. It would leave me wishing still for one more day with you.

Blogger's being a bitch again and I can't upload photos!

249: Despite everything.

2009-08-12T00:06:00.001+08:00

Faris was such a sweetheart when he came to my house yesterday upon hearing that I'm not feeling well and despite us not on talking terms for a few days. I don't know why but there were alot of silence between us. Then I randomly started this conversation:

Intan: Why you don't wanna break up with me uh despite what I did to you? *playing with tissue paper, not wanting to make any eye contact*
Faris: Cause I love you.
Intan: Oh okay.
Faris: You're always the one who always ask for break up.
Intan: Then you always make me angry one.

You have always said the special three devoting words meaningfully. With all your heart and soul, with every reasons to shed, with your heart beating furiously like it will make its way through your chest any second. But maybe the problem is you said those to the wrong girl. Why do I still take those when we both know that we may be destined to be someone else's? Because sometimes we wished the right person would be the one standing in front. What choice do I have to fight back this feeling without hurting anyone?

248: Love Game.

2009-08-11T00:05:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was a terrible day. Grandfather was being a son of a bitch when he didn't allow me to go out. Reason being was he had a huge fight with grandmother. I was really pissed off please. So yeah stayed at home the whole day.

And boyfriend had to make things worser for me! I found out from ____ that he's still in Singapore. His trip to Malaysia is postponed to Wednesday and I'm the last one to find out. I called and texted him so many times. But I get zero response from him. Woah that really shows that I'm the least important person in his life. When he comes online which I highly doubt he will, he's gonna get a mouthful from me.

247: National Day @ Marina Barrage

2009-08-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

I thought I wanna rot at home the whole day since I wasn't feeling well. But at the last minute, I decided to follow Papa + Ameera + our little sisters to Marina Barrage. What else if not to catch the fireworks. Typical! Papa was so enthusiastic. He even brought his binoculars with him! Haha so yeah we arrived at Marina Barrage around 4pm. There were many people there and there were alot of pretty kites flying up high. Oh and there were this group of mats right in front of us. They were really annoying please! Around 8pm, Sacha and Audrey came. Caught the fireworks and hung out there for awhile before heading to Beach Road for dinner. I was suppose to sleep over at Ameera's place but I am not feeling well. Down with fever + terrible cough. Sigh! I've consumed my medicine and I hope I'm well enough to attend Susan's birthday celebration later.

On a different note, boyfriend's going away later in the morning and we still haven't talk yet. I'm still thinking whether I should call him up or not. I miss him so much but I don't think he misses me. Since he's not online right now, I think he's still outside with his beloved boys. Meet his friends already where got time think about girlfriend one. Confirm he'll come back just in time for his trip. Sigh!

246: Happy National Day!

2009-08-09T00:12:00.003+08:00

My day was mundane yesterday. Nothing interesting happened. Went to visit my grandparents at my aunt's house in Macpherson. In the evening, followed my aunt and uncle to Geylang for awhile. Headed home around 11pm.

I am still not on talking terms with the boy. He's going away in a day time but things are still quite sour between us. Saddening I know. Things between the girls and I are not getting any better too. In fact I think it just got alot worser yesterday. Nevertheless I would like to wish Singapore:

Happy 44th Birthday Singapore!

I think Singapore is the most safest place on earth to live in. I love living in Singapore very much eventhough I have thoughts of migrating in the future. Hehe anyways while others have the typical National Day celebration by watching fireworks, I'm going to spend the day with my family.

On an even brighter note, I am looking forward to Susan's birthday celebration. Hehe we're gonna have heaps of fun bitching like the other day. Omg I am so sexcited lah now please!

I think I need a little getting used to. A little getting used to the fact that in this entire fabulous world, never can I find someone who will be seriously sincere. To the world, you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world. Trust me A, you should not give up just yet. Not to forget, thank you for cheering me up and tell me that everything's gonna be alright. You're a great friend both to me and the boy. Don't worry, I'm alright and we'll be fine in time.

And to the boy: I am still treasuring the times we had eventhough we're not on very good terms right now. All the laughters and smiles we created. How your annoyance pushed my patience to its limits. Haven't I reminded you to be extra careful because my fragile heart is in your hands? Seems like you never seem to treat it right. I can give you all the chances in the whole world but if only I hadn't feel too upset.

245: Lonely at heart.

2009-08-08T00:04:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was quite okay, I must say. I had to cancel some plans because granny asked me to accompany her spend the day with my aunts + little cousins. So yeah went to Causeway Point and had brunch at Banquet. After the overfilling meal, we walked around the boring mall. By around 4pm, we proceeded to Cik Da's place in Bukit Gombak. Did nothing much there. Played with the little ones and went online for awhile using the desktop there. In the evening, I accompanied Cik Da to buy all of us dinner at the coffee shop nearby. Headed home straight around 10pm.

I'm gonna be lonely for a week starting from Monday. I feel like I'm dead. Something/someone/everything had ripped off my body and took my soul. Okay fine maybe I'm the meanest girlfriend who completely doesn't know how to control her emotions by allowing very unpleasant statements to escape my lips to someone that had stood hand in hand with me for months. Who the hell could tolerate with me every night like this but Faris? I am a self-centered girl who does not know how to appreciate things. I'm so sorry love because I hung up without saying a proper goodbye and of course those three little words. I hate last minute news! Especially if it involves you going away for a week. I'm going bonkers already now eventhough you haven't left yet. I think I might lose my sanity for the week when you actually go!

Nevertheless you'll always be my shining knight who never fail to brighten every single day of mine in both negative and positive way. It is amazing how you could be the reason of my happiest moments and my deepest heartbreak.

And so I've been spending and will be spending excessive amount of water escaping from my body through tears because I am gonna be missing the boy too much. Way too much, I think. Gosh I miss the boy so much already now please! :'(

244: Issues.

2009-08-07T00:06:00.001+08:00

There is certainly every reason in the world to be frustrated over shits that has been happening lately. I did not know that going out with a new group of friends would create some sickening issues between me and the best girls. Things are getting out of hand and it's suffocating me. Never I did ever thought you girls can be so judgemental. I wasn't upset because of the whole thing. I guess I was more upset on how you girls jump into unpleasant conclusions so fast and smacked me with accuses. But I figured out that I should not get too carried away in this issue. After all no matter what and by the end of the day, you girls will always believe you are the winners. So I am not doing anything about it.

All I feel like doing now is sit by the beach with baby and exchange words that we certainly meant. I'll whisper to his ear and say that he rules my entire world now till end. It'll definitely take my mind off all the shits. But baby is no help and I must say he's useless. All he does is gaming and hang out with his friends. That's why I'm officially a loner now and I might be spending the National Day with the familia. Baby already has plans with his boys and of course I am not important enough for him to cancel them. Well what's new; it has always been like this and I highly doubt it will ever change. I guess this is something I have to live with from now on. In the first place, what's the point of getting attached when your boyfriend still treats you like you're one of his friends? Wait, he treats his friend way better than he treats. He meets me once this week but he meets his friends everyday. He even hangs out with them til wee hours!

Might be heading to aunt's house in Bukit Gombak later. Saturday will be visiting my grandparents in Macpherson. The only event I look forward to is Susan's birthday celebration.

243: Get a life, Ameera Fatin.

2009-08-06T00:06:00.001+08:00

I'm not even a sixteen year old girl and I'm fat.

After you stop gasping in horror, grow the fuck up and deal with it. You don't buy my food and my clothes. So piss on your self-righteous indignation. I pay for my own health care. So please stop assuming I don't eat healthy food and exercise just because I'm fat. While you're at it, stop assuming thin people are always healthy too.

I may not be sixteen but you've seen nothing yet. I may not be the brightest light bulb around but I'm smart enough to find out that you uploaded photos of me and my friend Farah on your wall photos in Facebook. If you think we're the biggest joke to you and your friends, you're a bigger joke to us. Your self esteem is so low that you have to use our photos to boost them? Hahahaha who's the joke now.

If you dislike the way I look, stop whining. Do the adult thing and simply look away. And just because I'm fat, it doesn't mean I'm less than a woman and therefore deserve less than a real man. I am very offended that people think I should have to lose weight in order to deserve an attractive boyfriend and lead a happy emotionally healthy life. I am also very offended that people think fat women should feel grateful that any man would give them the time of day.

AND I AM NOT A MINAHREP. So before you point your finger at me, make sure your finger's clean. Even if I am a minahrep, I'm still a human-being and I have dignity. Well at least I have a life to start with. Please start to bother about your life instead of other people's if you have a life uh. But it seems like you doesn't and that is why you choose to bother mine. I don't even know you and I don't know what's your problem. I don't even intend to know. But really go get a life.

If you have a problem with me, please feel free to add me up on msn cause hatetagging is so last summer. Don't worry I won't curse you online or anything cause I'm born with manners and I communicate with sophistication unlike those minahreps you labelled me as. But on the other hand, I am gonna make you regret your dirty ways, Ameera Fatin.

Enough about lifeless people who suffer from severe retardation. Went to watch Harry Potter and the half-blood prince with Dini yesterday @ J8 Bishan. It was a bore and I fell asleep a few times. But that's okay since it was free tickets lol. Headed home straight right after the movie cause we were both feeling lethargic.

On a totally different note, baby has been a good boy. Like this lah I like! Gonna kiss you alot alot when we meet soon alright. Hehe yummy! I hope things would stay this way. Alrighty me shall watch Gossip Girl while waiting for me love to call.

242: Fly Kite

2009-08-05T01:30:00.001+08:00

I had heaps of fun with Faris eventhough it ended with a tiff. -.- So the day started with Faris fetching me by cab from my place to Punggol. I was curious why he fetched me by cab instead of bike. On the way to Punggol, I kept bugging him to tell me what's the surprise but of course he won't. Instead he was being super friendly to the taxi driver and ignored my curiousity. Arrived in Punggol, I helped him unload his guitar and this huge bag from the trunk. I asked him why bring so many stuff, he said just wait and see. We then headed for the open field and settle down right in the middle. He then took out a kite from the huge bag. I was obviously surprised and threw my arms around him. I was speechless and almost teared please! Thus I kissed and hugged Faris for the longest time. Since both of us had no experience in flying kite, we were struggling to fix the kite but finally Faris managed to fix the kite. Then here comes the funny part. After fixing the kite, Faris straight away took out his handphone. Guess why he did that. He did that because he actually Googled how to fly a kite and typed + saved the instructions inside his handphone. Hahahaha so cute like that! We tried to make the kite go up and high but to no avail. So sad eh please! The weather was sunny and there wasn't much wind. Faris could still ask me, "No wind can fly kite or not uh?" HAHAHAHA omg so himbotic please. We then laugh at ourselves til our stomach hurts. We gave up on flying the kite and ended up spending our time just chilling there. Faris bought me my favourite Meatballs Marinara sandwich from Subway for lunch. Shared the sandwich + cookies with Faris. After eating, Faris played his guitar and sang Usah Lepaskan + Mimpi Yang Sempurna. Eventhough he didn't exactly sound like Taufik Batisah or even Ariel Peterpan but who cares. I still love his voice. Oh yeah it felt so good to have Faris kissing me everywhere. Hehe yum! Played Uno cards and even scissors paper stone. Loser gets hit by winner and Faris always wins which caused my hand became very red. He thought I'm made of metal what lol. Feeling guilty that he made my hand become all red, he kept kissing it. By 5pm, we made our way to Compass Point cause Faris was craving for Fillet O Fish from McDonalds. I was still full so I just watched him eat. Then I asked him where we're heading after this. He told me that we should head home straight cause he was feeling lethargic and he feels like he's gonna have a fever soon. Of course I believed him cause he was sneezing here and there.

But then I caught him keep looking at his handphone and his fingers couldn't seem to stop sms-ing as he ate. As soon as he placed his handphone on the table, I took the chance and grab it. Read his msges and found out that he had plans with his boys. They might even be thonning. Woah so much for feeling lethargic and having fever eh! So that's the reason why he wanted to "head home" early. I questioned him and he seemed annoyed. He was like, "Okay okay. I won't go." I was more annoyed than he was please! We ended up having an arguement the whole time when we were on the way back to Hougang. He sent me to my doorsteps and apologised. Exchanged hugs and kisses before we parted ways. Thinking that after the arguement we had he would actually head home straight but no. I called him but he didn't answer any of calls. Well I am not surprised! I got my answer already eventhough he didn't tell me. Obviously he was already with his boys, having so much fun despite he knows how much I dislike them.

After trying to contact him from 7pm, I fell asleep and he finally called me at around 1am. So yeah now gotta entertain him. He's getting a mouthful from me. Anyways will be watching Harry Potter with Dini @ Bishan yay!

241: Cause we're Intan & Faris, Faris & Intan

2009-08-04T00:02:00.002+08:00

Baby, that's the way I want to spend my life.
Looking into your early morning eyes.
Paradise is within those eyes.
Heaven is to be in your arms for life.

Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that really matters. Surprisingly, I love my life now. Compared to the past when I used to weep over some issues each and every night in silence. Reminiscing the past, that was when I realised friends around me would be there each time when I face depression and needed alot of attention. Despite my horrible attitude, they did put up with me. Thus I thank every single soul that held me through thick and thin. However, one particular person had seen me in my very worse and yet love me still. He determined to hang tough to make me a better person. I couldn't wish for more. I love you, Muhd Faris Bin Muhd Azman.

Thank you for knocking some senses to my head, love. I should not ask for more but appreciate every simplest things. Because when some minor things happen to be absent, life wouldn't be complete. Now I love every single things and people more than they would ever realised. I have enough in hurting the people I love most even at times I wasn't aware I did. This is all because of my selfishness in wanting what I demand for. Let's now be less self-centered. Hereby I proudly say that I wouldn't yearn for more because I have the best gift from God.

I want to be the one he could count on at times of cold. I want him to know that in this world, he's not going to walk alone. I've given him my heart and soul.

Okay just keep your lips sealed about how worser my mushiness had become, readers. Lol anyways on a brighter note, I will be meeting favourite boy later. Wooo sexcited please! I miss him too much that I wish I could make out with him this instance. Hehe yum yum!

I feel like declaring something here. But sadly, my fingers doesn't want to do the talking. Heh heh! It's not as if my blog is alive with readers anyway. But whoever happen to be an everytime reader(s) in my blog, I love you for bothering to spent a few minutes of your lifetime entertaining yourself with the life stories of a lovesick loser.

240: Kak Hana's 21st birthday!

2009-08-03T00:43:00.005+08:00

Yours Truly (L)

The birthday girl and the parents

For more photos: http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/33/Kak_Hanas_21st

Had fun at Kak Hana's birthday celebration @ East Coast Park. There was alot of good food and I just couldn't stop eating. I must've gain like a few kgs yesterday! I pitied Kak Hana cause most of her friends didn't turn up. She looked quite depressed. Nevermind, there's always next year. Insya Allah! I just realised that I have many friends who are born in August. Woah how like this. No money to buy them presents lol. Next year lah okay people. Heh heh!

I am very furious with someone right now. Glad you know that you're dead. Very, very dead! I thought you really deserve a chance and I was really sorry for whatever happened. But I guess you do not deserve any chances. Firstly, you lied and said there were some gig you had to attend. But instead, you went drinking and thonned with your boys @ Clarke Quay. Thanks to ____ for telling me cause one of your boys msg-ed her boyfriend, asking him to come along. But of course, she didn't allow him to cause she knows what you guys are up to. So ____ and I called your boys one by one but none of you answer our calls. Well I'm not surprise cause you guys always help each other to escape the girlfriends. Fuck you boys uh! If you're his true friends, you would tell him what's right and what's not. Lying to the girlfriends is not fucking right lah! Oh yeah why would you guys tell him? Cause you guys are just the same. No wonder lah you guys are friends. -.-

The next morning, I was still angry but I figured out maybe I should just forget about it. But then I managed to make one of your boys tell me everything. Turned out that you planned the drinking/thonning session a few days before. You were even the one who told your boys' girlfriends that you guys would be attending a gig. The 2 bottles of alcohol was even your treat! What the fuck. When I asked you to fucking top up your prepaid, you'll say that you're broke and you do not have any cash. You don't have money to top up your prepaid but you have cash to treat your friends the bottles of alcohol which cost almost $100!

You said you would contact me and we'll meet up even if it's for a short while at East Coast Park yesterday. But you didn't so I thought you were at home, sleeping cause you're having a hangover. But instead I heard from ____ again that you're out with her boyfriend and friends, doing God knows what! Please don't use the excuse that your prepaid's low and that's why you couldn't contact me. Prepaid low can still meet your friends but cannot meet me. It has always been like this!

Starting for today onwards since you obviously made it clear by your actions that I'm nothing to you, you can do whatever you please. I will not show any concern towards you. This is what you want right, you want freedom and spend all your time with your peabrain friends. You want to chill under the void deck til wee hours and have tons of your drinking/thonning session, go ahead. I won't stop you anymore, Muhd Faris Bin Muhd Azman.

239: Town/Sheesha with Zee & friends

2009-08-02T00:03:00.007+08:00

For more photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/32/townsheesha

Omg I swear I had heaps of fun with Zee and friends yesterday! Eventhough it's our first time hanging out, it felt like we knew each other for ages. I can't wait for Susan's birthday celebration on the 10 August! We're gonna have so much fun bitching about this particular someone and laughing out loud. Ketiak basah HAHAHAHA you know I know eh girls. Heh heh! So yeah anyways meet up with Zee, Jaja, Syab and Susan at Orchard MRT before proceeding to Burger King @ Wheelock Place to have our lunch. After lunch, we walked around Ion Orchard while waiting for Nadd and Aisha. Not long after they arrived and we chilled outside Taka. Oh yeah bumped into Fahfa! He did some sound to call me but I didn't notice him so I just ignored it. I thought he was some random guy, trying to flirt with one of the girls lol. He then stood up from where he was sitting and walked up to me. Said hello to him before proceeding to Taka. Around 6plus in the evening, Jaja, Susan, Syab and I took bus while Zee, Aisha and Nadd took the train to Bugis. The three girls didn't take the bus with us cause it was too crowded. Halfway to Bugis, Jaja, Susan, Syab and I alighted cause Jaja saw a flea market outside SMU. Jaja bought this very nice biker jacket for freaking $18 and Susan bought a pair of shorts for freaking $5! Cheap or what sia! Unfortunately, nothing caught my eyes and there wasn't enough time to look around. So we took cab to Haji Lane to meet the rest. On the way there inside the cab, Syab was very friendly to the taxi driver. The taxi driver even thought we're SMU students. What else, we also feeling-feeling university students uh heh heh! Arrived in Haji Lane, we rushed to Mosi Cafe to meet the rest for sheesha. Ordered apple mint flavour and start sheesha-ing. Just beside Mosi Cafe, there was a gig and the environment was very chaotic. Jaja and Zee went to buy murtabak from ZamZam and we shared. We ate as we laughed and made fun of people. Alot of funny incidents happened and my stomach still hurts from all the laughing. Around 9plus, we decided to make a move. Zee, Susan and I decided to head back home while the rest proceeded to Grandlink for a karaoke session. We parted ways with hugs.

Later will be going to Kak Hana's birthday celebration at Pasir Ris Park with the familia. And of course before I forget:

Happy 21st Birthday, Kak Hana!

Happy 15th Birthday, Nadia Farieha!

238: And we fell apart.

2009-08-01T00:20:00.003+08:00

I didn't wanna say I'm sorry
For breaking us apart
I didn't wanna say it was my fault
Eventhough I knew it was

I didn't wanna call you back
Cause I knew that I was wrong
Yeah, I knew I was wrong

It's hard to watch things change when all you want for them is to stay the same. It's funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It's crazy when you want to let go but you keep holding on and when you want to move on but you're stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go, you can't decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start. When you want someone in your life so bad but all you can do is push them further and further away. It's so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now then realised that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it's not worth it but if it didn't really matter you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it. Sooner or later we'll be looking back on everything and we'll laugh like we knew what was really happening all along. Someday we might listen to what people have to say. But for now, we'll make it by learning the hard way.

Baby, I believe you haven't lost your smile at all. It's right there under your nose. You just forgot it was there. I'm sorry, I sucked with words. I sucked in expressing how deep I feel. I sucked in behaving, doing all right things like brightening your days and such. Go on baby, do as you please now because there's so much lessons I could learn. I'm not afraid of shattering anymore because pain will heal with time. There's alot of things I wanna apologise for. Sorry for always yelling at you with my many versions of insulting things when we were together. Sorry for the sweetest empty promises and emotionally crushing your heart. But I'd like you thank you for slapping me back to reality and realise that good things doesn't come for girls like me. Like I said so many times, I don't blame you at all. We'd miss our sleeping hours on the phone and we'd miss each other every night cause those nights that kept us alive. Remember when we talked about where we'd be 10 years from now and remember when you held my hand like you'd never wanna let it go? Remember the way you'd kiss my nose when I laugh at your dumb jokes and remember how you'd smell my hair when I'm busy doing something else? Remember baby, cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory.

Okay I think I just typed a bunch of emo shit crap lol. Wells I have no idea why I am so emotionally weak. I would have swollen eyes in the morning at least once a week. I think I should be blame for global warming because I wasted tons of tissue papers just to wipe my tears from falling. Sometimes I guess you have to take a step back and realize what's actually important in your life, what you can live with but most importantly, what you can't live without.

There's alot of things occuring in this mind, heart and soul. But this mixed feelings are too intense to verbalize, to dejected to make statements. I'm glad though that I have friends who seem to have the ability to abstract my displeasure and ugly emotions from myself. They keep me away from thinking about it and lighten up my days with alot of entertainments. It makes me feel like I'm one lucky girl who owns the most awesome and nicest people around. I love you people tons!

On a totally different and brighter note, will be hanging out with Zee and her girls in town later. Woooo I'm excited please! Like finally we're hanging out yo. I shall only think of happy thoughts for now on. Okay have a great weekend everyone!

237: No more sunshine for me :(

2009-07-31T00:13:00.001+08:00

I had a nice day yesterday eventhough it started off with quite a drama. I wanted to just curl up in bed and sleep all my sorrows away all day long. Unfortunately, Mum asked me out on a lunch date with her in town. So I forced myself to wake up and got ready. Met up with Mum at Orchard mrt before we proceeded to Thai Express for our lunch date. The service was great and the food was even better. After the overfilling meal, I accompanied Mum to send her pants for alteration at Lucky Plaza. Afterwhich, she went back to work and I made my way back to Hougang to meet with Farah. Farah and I then meet up with the rest in Sengkang. Walked around Compass Point and saw the most fugly girl in the world; Fasya. Omg what a joke she is! She looks like an Indonesian maid. Oh and if you're reading this, feel free to flood my tagboard with hatetags. So anyways bought some food from Banquet and ice cream from McDonalds. Found a spot and settle down. We ate and we caught up with each other. Bumped into Chacha bestie and Sue at interchange. Said hello before following the girls for a smoking break. Bumped into Dini too! After the smoking break, we headed home. In the evening, Mum brought my siblings and I out for groceries shopping. Then we had dinner at Subway. Yum yum! I love Meatballs Marinara please! (Y)

Chuck: This isn't you.
Blair: How do you know?
Chuck: Because I know you better than I know myself.

When you love someone, all you want for that someone is happiness even if you're not part of it. I've learnt the difference between holding a hand and falling in love. I've learnt that kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as quickly as they made and goodbyes really are forever. I'm too afraid to love now because I'm afraid to give myself to someone I might lose.

TO YOU:
I'm so sorry. I know you hate me now and I don't blame you. I should've never be friends with you if I mean to use you. I should've never make a promise when I know I could never keep it. I should've never be sweet to you if I mean to ignore you after. I should've never let you fall for me if I don't intend to love you back. You must be strong now. You must never give up.

236: Blair Waldorf

2009-07-30T00:25:00.003+08:00

I miss my best girls. :(

Trust me; I lead a very happy life just like Blair Waldorf's. As you can see, I have nothing interesting to blog about. I feel like closing this blog down but I just do not have the heart to. Maybe one day perhaps. On a totally different note, Mum's getting her pay soon yay! So this equates to shopping. Heh heh!

235: Usah Lepaskan

2009-07-29T00:39:00.003+08:00

That beautifully crafted smile of yours is none that I've seen before.
Has the love that I've given you faded?
All gone with the promised colours of it.

This heart does not want to love again. This heart does not want to belong to anyone. This girl that you claimed that 'you love so much' does not love you. This girl won't look at you in the same way as you looked at her. You're nothing to her. You're nothing to me, Faris. I told you to get a life, to build a brigde and get over it. You did it in just a day. I'm so happy for you, Faris. Goodbye my almost lover and so long luckless romance. I always knew we were holding on to something we cannot hold. I'm glad it has ended. Cause I know sooner or later, all of this would come to an end. Whatever we had was really beautiful and I would never trade anything else in the world for the days I spent with you. The beautiful memories I've created with you and most importantly you. We can still be friends but not more than that.

I've told you people: I don't wanna fall in love. I'll slip but never fall. I'm not gonna waste those three words anymore. At least not now. Please respect this decision of mine. This is how I roll now. Deal with it.

/EDITED!

Someone can say they love me truly, but it didn't mean a thing. This time no matter what you will never see me cry.

234: Don't be a fool, baby.

2009-07-28T00:03:00.004+08:00

Blair: Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out...all of us. But if it's not, then please Chuck, just let me go.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you.
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her and I can't make her happy.

TO YOU:
You'll get someone better. Meanwhile build a bridge and get over it. I told you so many times: I can never make you happy and vice versa. You know it and no matter how hard/much you try, you will never succeed. Give up now cause in the end one of us will get hurt. Don't be fool, baby. You know you don't wanna take the risk. You know you don't wanna be with me. You know you deserve someone better. She'll treat you way better than this. Oh come on, we both deserve better. We might be in love but we're never meant to be. We just happened, baby. This is just a game. Don't be stupid. Lose now rather than lose later. Cause you'll fall deeper and it'll hurt more. I'm heartless, baby. Something has died in this heart. It's you. I'm sorry and this time it's for real. Love doesn't mean we have to be together. In the first place, was it love? Let me just take it as infatuation.

I miss my best girls. Wells will be meeting Farah on Wednesday and give her some moral support for her N level malay oral. All the best and love you! On a brighter note, will be getting my allowance soon yay! Omg I am very elated please. Tomorrow might be paying Ion Orchard a visit with Mumsy. I made a very wise decision just now and I'm happy about it. But apparently the other someone wasn't too happy. Wells he'll get over it sooner or later.

/EDITED!

It's 1.50am and as usual, I am still awake. Webcam-ed with Nizam just now heh heh. Get well soon alright and you're so shameless asked me to send you a very sweet msg. My prepaid's low lah hotstuff. -.- Oh and I totally love your new hair. So much better than the old one. Alright me wanna continue watch Gossip Girl season 2. What's new right! Heh have a good day, readers. Much love.

233: Swalk. -.-

2009-07-27T00:28:00.003+08:00

My Sunday was well spent with the familia. Went to a wedding reception at Serangoon and the food there was great, I must say. Anyways from the wedding reception, we headed to the airport. Afterwhich, went to Mama's house for awhile in Tampines before heading back home.

For more photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/31/weddingairport

Faris is being an annoyance. Well what's new! Hahah okay I sound so mean please. Please stop flooding my tagboard with the word, swalk. -.- No loving kiss for you, Muhd Faris Bin Muhd Azman. Blogger's back to normal like finally, yay!

Oh and my prepaid's low. So in case of emergency, please do not call/msg me. I shall top up my prepaid in a few days time alright. Alright, I'm off to watch Gossip Girl season 2 now. Chuck Bass, Chuck Bass, Chuck Bass! ^^

232: Sweet or Sweat (Y)

2009-07-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday Asyraf

Sweet or Sweat was alright. After the gig, headed down to Beach Road with the usuals to celebrate Alfiah's and Tini's birthday. Had sup tulang for early dinner and Ninii bought two small cakes for the birthday girls. Happy belated birthday girls! I hope you two love our surprise although it wasn't much heh. From Beach Road, we proceeded to Marina to catch the fireworks. Sadly we were late so we didn't get to see much fireworks. -.- Marina was infested by matreps and minahreps. So I didn't want to stay long plus I had to head home early. So yeah went home with Ninii while the rest stayed longer there.

For the photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/30/Sweet_or_Sweat

Faris called me just now to ask me a stupid question.

Faris: The place at Pasir Ris Park. Is it swamp or swan? My friend cakap it's swan.
Intan: You asked me call you urgently to ask this? -.-
Faris: Uhm yeah. So hurry, swamp or swan?
Intan: (I wanted to say swamp instead I said) Swalk.
Faris: Swalk? I thought I am stupid. You lagi bodoh sia b. Swalk tu apa sia? *laughs*
Intan: Eh diam uh. I salah cakap kan! You uh ni. Suruh I call just to ask that stupid question. Himbo!
Faris: HAHAHAHA! Dah salah then nak marah orang pulak.
Intan: Shut up you.

231: Moodless

2009-07-25T00:04:00.003+08:00

Blogger's being a bitch, I swear.

I did not attend Ignite yesterday due to some reasons. But I did pay RP a visit though. Met up with Dini before Syafa and Syauqi came. Thought Farah could make it to the gig with me. But in the end she couldn't make it so I called Faris up. I then decided to give the gig a miss and took bus to Yishun. Hung out at his crib til around 9pm. He was suppose to meet his friends for takraw but I managed to psycho him not to go meet his friends. Heh heh yay me! I was already in a bad mood when I reached his place. Then he decided it was the "right" timing for us to sort out some issues and have a heart to heart talk. I know he was disappointed with me. It was freaking dramatic, I swear. I wept which made him feel super guilty for bringing the issues up. Feeling guilty, he just kept quiet and smoke. Woah guilty can still smoke when he knows I dislike it. -.- Mum was being a pain and kept calling me. I thought she called to ask me to head home so I ignored her calls. She then called Faris and told him that I didn't win Projek Cerpen which obviously made me feel worser. Faris then comforted me with a hug and apologised for everything. It wasn't even his fault in the first place. Soon we were okay. Had dinner before he sent me home.

The weekend is here. I am freaking moodless for Sweet or Sweat later. I just need a break from all the drama please. I am trying to think positive but that's almost impossible. Hello and welcome back intan the paranoia! -.-

TO YOU:
You know I never meant to hurt you. I have my reasons why I hid all those stuff from you cause I didn't want you to judge me. I know the truth really hurts and lies kill you. I wish you heard all those stuff from me instead of her. But I guess it's too late now. I know you're very disappointed. I am so sorry. Maybe we should just go our separate ways since I am causing you so much pain.

230: Starhub Operator -.-

2009-07-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

Cause it feels so much better now. I'm so sorry baby and please don't leave me for the Starhub operator. HAHAHAHA love you ass! :)

Okay I wanna watch Gossip Girl now. Then hog on the phone with the boy til wee hours, I think. Oh and his blog is so much more interesting than mine now I know lol.

229: to ne net to ne net!

2009-07-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

Eventhough I really love you, I am gonna smile cause I deserve to.

Things between me and air liuh basi boy are fine for now. I can't get angry with him for long cause he'll always have a way to make me laugh/smile.

Faris: Baby I wanna go play takraw today. Promise tak balik lambat k.
Intan: Yesterday soccer, today takraw. Tomorrow what? Badminton uh?
Faris: Nope. Kebayarobics. HAHAHAHA!
Intan: HAHAHAHA wth gay sia b.
Faris: *continue laughing annoyingly*
Intan: *try not to laugh* Eh stop laughing lah! I am suppose to be angry with you. Not laughing with you!
Faris: I am not laughing. I am giggling. HAHAHAHA!
Intan: -.-

And baby, please stop making the to ne net to ne net slash Transformer sound. It's cute but it's getting annoying like anything can! -.- You better watch out uh when we meet. Cause I miss you and I wanna bite you heh. Yum yum! *kenings naik-naik* HAHAHAHA mampus.

Alright I wanna watch Gossip Girl season 2 now.

228: Chuck Bass <3

2009-07-22T00:16:00.004+08:00

I literally rot my ass at home the whole day yesterday. All I ever do was eat, sleep, laptop and sleep again. Oh and of course watch my favourite Gossip Girl. I've completed watching Season 1 in just 2 days. Now gonna continue watching Season 2. All I could think of now is Chuck Bass. *drools*

I miss my air liuh basi boy many many please! But on a sour note, we are not on really good terms. We will only be if someone decided to act more like his age instead of mine. Seriously baby, please don't bore me again and don't be such a pussy please. Oh and the photos above like the same only! Lol the tie and shirt almost the same.

Ziela just said that my relationship with Faris is just like a Hindi movie. -.- Wait, we're not even in a relationship.

On a totally different note, who wants to go to Ignite @ RP with me this Friday?

NAK CARI PACAR LAGI UH HAHAHAHA!

227: Call me Intan Westwick HAHAH!

2009-07-21T00:02:00.003+08:00

GOSSIP GIRL (Y)

CHUCK BASS & BLAIR WALDORF (L)

I am officially addicted to Gossip Girl and I am very deeply in love with Chuck Bass! Chuck and Blair Waldorf look so cute together please. I want a filthy rich boyfriend like Chuck uh now. Heh heh! (Y)

Anyways, I had a wonderful day with Faris yesterday. I gave Faris a surprise visit with the help of his sister. Heh thank you very much eh! We shall go out together soon. The day started with me coming online for awhile in the morning to see if Faris's online. Unfortunately, he wasn't so I assumed he was still sleeping like a pig which he was. Msg-ed his sister who was in school and she said he should be at home alone since the parents are working. Plus he will always wake up around noon. Even if he's online in the morning, it means he didn't sleep the whole night. So I quickly got ready and packed some food plus leftover brownies that I made last week for him. Took mrt to Sengkang, followed by 965 to Yishun.

Arrived outside his house, instead of knocking on his door, I called him. I had to call him thrice before he actually answered my call with his usual step fresh voice lol. Upon hearing that I was outside his house, he was shocked and quickly open the door for me with his busuk + air liuh basi face and in his super cute boxers. HAHAHAHA a very Faris moment please! Heh exchanged xoxo eventhough he hadn't bathe yet.

So yeah went into his house and waited for him at the living room while he unpacked the food. Accompanied him eat as we watched tv together. After that, he wanted to play his stupid Left 4 Dead but I wanted to watch Gossip Girl. So we "fought" over his computer lol. Of course he gave in and I watched Gossip Girl online. He laid on his bed and played his psp while hugging his favourite pillow or should I say, bantal busuk. HAHAHAHA sorry baby, can't help it uh. ^^V

We actually wanted to go out but Faris was too lazy to even take a bathe! So we decided to just stay indoors. Bored playing his psp, he joined me watch Gossip Girl online. I should've bring my laptop along cause his desktop was such a bitch! Seriously, I felt like throwing it out the window. -.- Soon it was time to go home. He took a quick bath and got ready. Then what else, sent me home uh. Heh heh! Thank you darling. *smile from ear to ear*

226: Battlefield

2009-07-20T00:03:00.009+08:00

AFTERNOON MOSH (Y)

THE BEST GIRLS (L)

BEST FAT FRIENDS! (L)

Please don't mind my pepek face + messy hair. Of course credits to Farah and more photos on her Multiply. I so cannot wait for Sweet or Sweat @ Odiocrib which is this Saturday. I am sexcited please! I have feeling that I am gonna enjoy the gig very much heh.

One minute it's love and suddenly it's like a battlefield. Less than 2 months more! Don't ask me how. Cause I have no idea how it's gonna be without you around. I dare not image how my life is gonna be without you around. But wells I guess we'll find out how is it gonna be in less than 2 months. Can someone please invent the time machine? :(

Random: No one in this world is gonna die a virgin cause in the end love will fuck us all.

/EDITED!

CLICK FOR ACTUAL SIZE!

it.s 3.21am and Nizam is accompanying me via webcam. Ignore my ugly + busuk face heh. Nizam step cute only! Okay okay, he is cute. Sudah! Don't kembang eh, "Edward Cullen". Oh and please get well soon, webcam partner!

/EDITED!

Currently at Faris's crib. Don't ask how I end up here lol long story uh. Will do proper update tomorrow heh heh. Watching Gossip Girl online now with Faris. Okay fine, I am watching but Faris is playing his psp. We "fought" over his computer just now HAHAHAHA! Okay shall continue watching Gossip Girl now. Have a nice day!

225: Afternoon Mosh

2009-07-19T02:07:00.001+08:00

Yesterday wasn't as depressive as I expected it to be. I could not and didn't sleep the night before but I still had enough energy to attend Afternoon Mosh @ Crawlspace. Anyways I didn't even online the whole night like I'd always be when I couldn't sleep. I was in bed, crying my eyeballs out like someone just passed away. Due to too much crying, my eyes were puffy and my eyebags were huge the next morning. -.- Mum who went to Johor came back around 6am. She bought ramly burgers for everyone so I had my breakfast before I went online. To my surprise, Faris was online and he too didn't sleep the whole night. I knew why and I believed everyone knows why also lah now. Thank you very much for the 58 Missed Calls. -.-

So yeah, chatted with him and we talked things out. So things are okay for now. Actually it wasn't even his fault lah. Heh but I rubbed everything to his face. I am so mean lah can! Anyways he then went to play his stupid Left 4 Dead and left me with boredom. So I decided to post something on his blog HAHAHAHA! Feeling quite sleepy, I went offline and slept for awhile. I was then woken up by my grandparents who just came back from the market. I went online again and chatted with Farah and Faris for hours. Farah had to go offline cause her sister wanted to use the computer. Faris didn't entertain me much afterwards cause he was too busy attacking zombies on Left 4 Dead. The game is stealing his attention away from me! Stupid game uh. -.- Around 2pm, I went to get ready for the gig. Meet up with Farah + Anna at the usual bus stop before meeting up with Faiz + Ziela inside 51. Alighted right in front of Crawlspace. M4R was suppose to perform at 4.30pm but they ended up performing at 5.30pm, I think. While waiting, I managed to catch some sleep. I did not really enjoy the gig cause I was too sleepy and too depressed. After the gig, we proceeded to Geylang to meet up with the others. When we arrived, Aqul + Nini had some issues. We went to have dinner at KFC and left the couple to sort things out. Had my meal before deciding to go home instead of following them to watch kuda kepang. I am terrified of kuda kepang, by the way.

When I was on my way home inside the bus, Faris msg-ed saying he was at Ang Mo Kio. So we decided to meet up for awhile at Hougang interchange. Meet him up at the usual spot before he walked me home. We thought of chilling at the playground for awhile but unfortunately, it was drizzling. Then his mum called him and asked us out for supper plus his sister and dad, of course. They were from some jemputan at Aljunied. I didn't want to follow at first but his mum insisted. I didn't have the heart to reject so I agreed. Mum was okay with it since his parents were around. So yeah Faris took his bike from Hougang Mall carpark and parked it nearby my block while I freshened up. Not long after that, his parents + sister came and we drove to Jalan Kayu for supper. Inside the family car, his mum told me stories about Faris from he was a little boy to his secondary school days. His mum told me that he was quite rebellious and was into skating + his band that he neglected his studies. Heh naughty boy uh lol! His sister who's a year older than me, was rather shy at first. Soon, she joined the conversation and kept teasing her brother. Faris would just deny what they said or roll his eyes. Last time Faris was bullied in school cause he was short HAHAHAHA! The mother was very cute please! Before meeting Faris and I, they had to attend like 3 jemputans. So she was like complaining about the jemputans lol sumpah very funny heh.

Faris and I had eaten already so we were still very full. But to be polite, I ordered chocolate prata and shared with Faris. We forced ourselves to eat and we ate very slowly. Faris ate most of the prata cause I was on the verge of puking, I swear. Plus I was really, really sleepy and felt like yawning every 5 minutes. But I had to prevent myself from doing so cause it'd be very rude somehow. I had to tell Faris that I was sleepy by msg-ing him cause I was afraid that his parents might hear us talking eventhough we were sitting beside each other lol. I was in the state of extreme drowsiness that when I close my eyes, I automatically go to Dreamland hahahaha but thank God, soon they sent me home.

So salam-ed the parents + sister. The sister and I even exchanged numbers cause she'll help me with some surprise heh heh. Don't bother bugging her to tell you eh Faris cause she won't muahahaha! So thanked them for treating me supper. Faris sent me to my doorstep since he had to ride his bike home. Heh exchanged xoxo before parting ways.

Anyways I didn't bring my camera to the gig. So prolly I'll put up Farah's multiply link when she's done uploading the photos.

224: Tersudut menunggu mati.

2009-07-18T00:01:00.004+08:00

Aku pulang tanpa dendam.
Kuterima kekalahanku.
Aku pulang tanpa dendam.
Kusalurkan kemenanganmu.

How I wish I could be happy genuinely for you.
You destroyed me completely.
I'm sorry.

/EDITED!

TO YOU:
FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HOT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SOME SKATERBOY? LISTEN HERE, I DO NOT CARE. YOU ARE A JERK AND I DON'T LIKE YOU. WAIT, I DON'T LIKE ALL BOYS CAUSE ALL BOYS ARE JERKS. JUST LIKE YOU! BOYS ARE HEARTLESS BASTARDS. YOU CAN FUCK OFF CAUSE I DON'T NEED YOU OR ANYTHING OTHER GUYS. YOU GUYS ARE ALL NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF LOSERS! YOU GUYS BRING NOTHING BUT MISERY TO MY LIFE! FUCK YOU ALL! DIE AND BURN IN HELL!

FROM TODAY ONWARDS, I, INTAN AMANINA AZMAN, VOWED THAT I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE. I'LL SLIP BUT NEVER FALL! YOU GUYS WILL NEVER SUCCEED IN BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES AGAIN! NEVER YOU FUCKERS!

TO THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE, FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK LOVE!

/EDITED!

Thanks Mira - it's okay. please do add me on msn :)
Thanks Zee. - i've disappoint you and everyone. I am so sorry. :'(

And Faris, my brother will meet you on Monday afterschool to return your psp. Goodbye.

223: Best Fat Friends Brownies

2009-07-17T00:06:00.003+08:00

I, Intan Amanina Bte Azman, hereby proudly declare that I succeeded in baking brownies yay! Oh and a big thank you to Farah for helping me heh. Love you lah bodoh! And the brownies tasted so gooooood please. Oh in your face eh Faris. Now who says I can't bake? Heh now can kahwin already lah. My husband will so die of diabetes cause eat brownies everyday HAHAHAHA mampus. Fuck yeah I am in a very good mood.

BEST FAT FRIENDS BROWNIES!

Anyways bad photo quality cause I used my hp to snap the photos. Sorry yo. Oh yeah Farah and I proudly named the brownies - BFFB which stands for Best Fat Friends Brownies. HAHAHAHA! Anyways get well soon Farah. Hope your thumb heals soon alright. Curse you big momma! Lol okay no. Next mission: Cupcakes!

222: Life With Derek

2009-07-16T00:07:00.006+08:00

Watched Life With Derek full episodes online yesterday. And I have to say Truman French (Joe Dinicol) is so cute please! *melts* Eventhough he's actually a jerk in the tv show but who cares heh. Plus he's so much better looking than Derek Venturi (Michael Seater).

So that's Truman! *squeals*

This Canadian tv show were once aired on Okto. The main story line is mostly about sibling rivalry between Derek and Casey McDonald (Ashley Leggat). But despite their constant arguements and disagreements, they did eventually grow to accept each other.

-

I wanna watch Gossip Girls online very badly, I must say. I've been asking almost everyone if they knew any website which I could watch this tv show online besides YouTube. So if you do happen to know, please kindly inform me the website(s) alright. Thank you very much and it is greatly appreciated by me. ^^

Currently feeling extremely bored. Wells what's new right? I am always feeling bored. -.- On a totally different note, I am gonna bake brownies! Okay this is actually suppose to be a surprise. But I can't help it heh!

/EDITED!

It's 3.55am in the morning and I am still extremely bored. So was bloghopping and found this survey. Decided to do it since I am in the state of extreme boredom.

Do you and your last ex hate each other?
Well I somewhat still hate him and I think he hates me too.

Is your room ever clean?
Never! Even if it is, it would be just for awhile.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
Just now? Everyday I like someone alot HAHAH!

Will you be in a relationship next month?
I don't know? I am not psychic please.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Talked on the phone. I do that like everyday before I hit the sheets.

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
No. It'll feel so weird.

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough?
All the time.

Are you wasting your time on someone?
Yeah always.

How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
Once actually.

How late did you stay up last night?
Til around 2am, I guess.

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
I almost did! Heh heh.

What are you currently hearing?
My little sister snoring. -.-

Has anyone called you babe today?
Babe, no. Baby, yes. Heh heh!

Do you think you can be in love with someone without trusting them?
Hell no. Okay maybe yes but I'll have doubts.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Uhm not really.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
My cousins!

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
My handphone. I would always check for unread msges and missed calls first thing in the morning.

Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad?
FUCK YEAH! I bet everyone knows already.

Are you hiding something from someone?
At times yes.

Regret anything you did today?
Fortunately no.

How do you handle a break up?
I'll cry on daily basis, blog about it and I'd sound worser than some emo kid and curse him everyday til now.

Will tomorrow be better then today?
Hopefully.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
No.

Is there something you want to tell someone?
Actually yeah. For now lah. If he pisses me off again, then no.

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Lol yeah. Hate is the word.

Is something bothering you?
My sister is snoring loudly and it bothers me alot.

Do you have any friends with kids?
uh huh. so cute! I also want kids uh like this lol okay no.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Sunshine to my cloudy day yay! Who else right. I bet you know who he is lah now.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours?
No. Sad or what lol.

Think a lot before you fall asleep?
Yeah too much! Sometimes it bring me to tears lol.

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
Right now no.

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo?
No! I dislike guys with tattoo.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Duh, many many times please.

Closest blue object to you?
Uhm nothing?

Is your hair up or down right now?
Up in a ponytail.

Last thing you spent your money on?
Drugs HAHAHAHA fuck no lah. Prepaid!

What does your mum call you?
Nina. But when she's angry, it would be INTAN AMANINA AZMAN!

Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
Yeah alot of people.

Do you like your life right now?
Not really actually.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
Just now. Actually I feel like doing it all the time.

What colour shirt are you wearing?
Topshop yellow tank top.

Do you like hugs and kisses?
Oh I love them!

Period cramps are killing me right now. My period totally come on the wrong timing! :(

221: Syurga Cinta

2009-07-15T00:04:00.004+08:00

Watched Syurga Cinta last Sunday at Ameera's place and it is such an awesome movie, I must say. This romantic comedy starring the handsome Awal Ashaari *drools*, Heliza AF5 who has very beautiful eyes and a very cute little boy, Hadziq from Tom Tom Bak. This movie is a must watch especially if you want something to laugh and cry on. My favourite scene in the movie is the part when Irham (Awal Ashaari) proposed to Syuhada (Heliza AF5). Omg very sweet please!

Talking about proposal, I randomly looked through Tiffany & Co rings on the net and these two rings are lovely!

Engagement Ring

Wedding Ring

Okay I shall dream on cause I highly doubt I'm gonna get these rings. But who knows right? Then again, I think I am gonna end up as a spinster. Sad or what sey lol. Ugh whatever, I believe that there's always a somebody for everyone. Mine is somewhere out there but I just haven't met him yet. So maybe he's right in front of me but I haven't realise it yet. Chey! Hahah oh wells, I'll just leave all this to Allah.

On a totally different note, I am craving for Fried Mars Balls! Sadly, it will do nothing but worsen my cough + sore throat. So this means no Fried Mars Balls til I recover from cough + sore throat. Grrr stupid lah! Oh and I feel like having a huge cup of frozen yogurt with lots of berries from Frolick please. Yum yum! This won't worsen my cough + sore throat right right right? Okay I shall have my yogurt with dummy boy this Friday heh heh. Loves it!

Anyways I know I've become one of the most boring bloggers ever. -.-

220: You're not alone.

2009-07-14T00:02:00.006+08:00

TO YOU:
Cheer up please. It's always been you listening to my cries and now hearing your cries pains my heart really badly. I've never thought you could become so weak cause you were always the pillar of my strength. The one who made me strong somehow and helped me go through the darkest period of my life. Now it's my turn to try my very best and help you in every way I could. I know I am not strong enough to help myself. Let alone now help you but like I said, I would do anything to see you smile again.

And you know very well that you're not alone. Cause I am always here for you. Eventhough I can't meet you especially since I am not feeling well, I am just a phonecall away. Please promise me that you won't do anything stupid.

Yes, love kills. But that doesn't mean you should stop believing in it. Trust me, there's always a somebody for everyone. You'll just have to wait for your true love. And please stop saying you're done waiting. -.-

You always irritate and make me mad at you but when you don't, it feels so weird. :(

TO YOU:
You said you did not lie but how far is that true? I am having doubts eventhough it may seem to you that I am treating you normally. But the truth is I don't know if I can trust you. I am having mixed feelings now. And you're somehow not making things any better.

I don't know what to say anymore. I do still like you but you're turning me off, just like your friend did.

-

Anyways I am not feeling well. Screw this terrible cough and sore throat! Wells, it's actually my fault for drinking Honeydew Ice Blended with pearls + jelly eventhough I know I am suffering from a very bad cough. -.- Okay whatever, I just hope this cough would go away very soon.

And I'm left with less than $5 now. When will money start growing on trees? Okay dream on intan. On a brighter note, might be getting my allowance tomorrow yay! Plus I am super sexcited please for this Saturday's gig - Afternoon Mosh!

219: Blow the candles out

2009-07-13T00:07:00.005+08:00

Saturday was quite an unlucky day for me eventhough it was quite wonderful too. The day started with me meeting up with the usuals plus Tini and Alfiah nearby Hougang interchange. Went to withdraw money first at the nearest ATM before proceeding to Bugis for our shopping trip. Bumped into Aidil Alfian at the interchange and we waved at each other. So yeah took 51 to Bugis and walked into Bugis Street. I didn't buy anything but Tini and Anna bough a dress each. They changed into their new dresses straight away. Since we were all famished, we went to have our early dinner at KFC. Soon after we finish eating, Faiz came and we all waited for Aqul and Nini. The couple came a few minutes later and we were suppose to be at Ben & Jerry's by 6pm. But we arrived there at around 6.50pm and by the time we arrived, DVR already performed. -.- That's the first unlucky incident. I swear I felt really bad and I'm really sorry guys. Talked to them for awhile before joining my friends back.

Went to 7-11 to get a drink before I make my way to Pasir Ris by train to meet the familia for bowling in Ehub. For a few certain reasons, I felt nervous and there were butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want to reach Pasir Ris so quickly but the journey seem very short. I stepped out the train and got more nervous. Not thinking properly, I walked to the interchange. At the interchange, I realised that I forgot how to walk to Downtown East from there. I then started walking in circles around the interchange, mumbling to myself which caught the attention from this guy. He gave me a weird look before walking off. I finally decided to take 89 to Downtown East which was only a stop away. Alighted and walked to McDonalds to meet the familia. I had eaten at Bugis but I ate again to calm myself cause I was really nervous. Our queue number was 108 but the current queue number was only 77. -.- So we obviously had to wait for a long period of time. My cousins, siblings and I were bored so we decided to go to the arcade which was located just beside Nebo and Nurul was on duty. Meet her up for awhile and she told me The Ex was gonna be there too and gonna go bowling with his family. I was praying so hard that we won't bump into each other. But again, luck wasn't exactly on my side. I was busy talking to Ameera that I forgotten all about our little sisters. I realised they were missing and started to panic. I walked around the arcade, searching for them but to no avail. So I decided to walk out to Nebo and asked Nurul if she had seen them. I was so panicked that I didn't realise The Ex and his sister was there. Yeah, they saw me all panicky and very unglam + bimbotic. A very Intan moment, I should say. Embarrassed, I ran back into arcade and finally found the little girls. They were having fun, playing some game when I was all panicky and even humiliated myself in front of The Ex and his sister(who Nurul told me laughed at me). Dragged them out and went down to the bowling alley. When we went down, the current queue number was only 91. So yeah, we decided to go to the arcade again without the little girls. This time the coast was clear and The Ex wasn't around. I wanted to play this arcade game but I didn't know how to scan the stupid card. Gave up and decided to accompany Nurul have her dinner.

Then Mama called saying that it was almost our turn and asked us to go down to the bowling alley. And The Ex + family was there, sitting right beside my family. I thought my bad luck ended there but no, my bowling lane was right in front where they were sitting, giving them a clear view of me humiliating myself again. I suck at bowling, I swear and I almost fell lots of times. Oh and I spilled my can of Red Bull. -.- I felt like a huge joke seriously. Fortunately his family was given a lane quite further away from us soon after that. My family played only one game and headed back home straight. Brother and I slept over Ameera's place in Tampines. I had so much fun eventhough the day was quite unlucky.

Presenting the team captains and ehem, the babes! Lol chey chey ^^V

A group photo and I look ugly. -.-

Look at how much all of us cousins have grown. It seems like yesterday Shazran bullied me and made me cry. Alright I was a crybaby when I was a little girl and sadly I am still now heh heh. Ameera and I have been cousins for a few years now and eventhough we're not exactly related by blood, we've grown very close and I love her very much. I really hope we'll have more family gatherings like this cause it is so much fun yay!

/EDITED!

There's no kindness in your eyes. The way you look at me, it's just not right. I can tell what's going on this time. There's a stranger in my life. You're the person that I once knew. Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do, then they would see a stranger too.

Did I ever do anything was this cruel to you? Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room? You made yourself look perfect in every way. So when this plan goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed. Your plan is working so you can just walk away. Baby your secret's safe.

I'm down with fever, flu, cough and sore throat. NO, I AM NOT INFECTED WITH H1N1 -.- Anyways tomorrow will be helping Nini with her blogshop.

218: Lies.

2009-07-12T13:52:00.002+08:00

Currently at Ameera's place. I had a wonderful yet unlucky day yesterday. Don't worry, I will do a proper update once I'm home.

TO YOU:
I am so pissed off. Now I know the truth, the real you. What's your motive lying to me? Is it a test to know whether I care or not? Or it's a joke? If it is, fuck you cause it's not funny at all. Do you how worried I am when you told me you were hospitalised? Do you know I stayed up late to just communicate with you via MSN cause you told me your hp wasn't with you? This is just a joke to you right?

You know what, your friend might be ignorant but you're a liar. Thank God and Ejan for telling me the truth. Oh and don't bother explaining cause I'm walking away.

Maybe this is why Farah doesn't seem to like me being close to you. Cause maybe she knew the real you way before I did.

217: The Usuals or The Familia?

2009-07-11T00:05:00.005+08:00

I felt like I was a power ranger HAHAH!

We were just fooling around heh heh ^^V

Had quite a nice day yesterday. The day started with Granny and I accompanying Mama to her medical check up at SGH. The three of us had to wear the mask and it was so cool! I felt like I was a power ranger lol. Anyways after the check up, we had our brunch at the food court. Actually our initial plan was to have our brunch at Tong Seng but we were too hungry already. So yeah had nasi padang and it was really filling. After eating, Mama and granny headed home straight while I went to meet the usuals at our usual hang out. We then had this sudden craving for vadeh plus Farah had to collect something from Nini's place in Punggol. So without Ziela and Faiz, the rest of us headed to Sengkang and meet up with Aqul. Afterwhich, we proceeded to the pasar malam outside the interchange and bought our vadeh. Took 83 to Punggol and waited for Nini near the garden as she went home for awhile to take the something. Soon after, Nini came down. Aqul wanted to smoke so badly so I borrowed him some money to buy cigarettes. All of us then followed Aqul to buy the cigarettes before walking back to the garden and slacked around the area. We had truckloads of fun talking about Aqul's upcoming gig and joked around. I laughed so hard that my stomach hurts. Around 5plus Farah, Anna and I decided to head home.

I am currently confused between going shopping + watch DVR's performance with the usuals or playing bowling with the familia later. Please help me decide and vote by tagging my tagboard heh heh. Chey lol! Anyways on a brighter note, will have an outing to the Singapore zoo very soon yay! I am very anticipated please heh heh.

I miss someone very much. No, not that someone but the other someone. Hahah yes him, that someone! *insert mentel smile* heh heh get well soon please k you.

/EDITED!

It somehow pains my heart to hear you suffer in pain. I feel lousy not be able to do anything about it at all. I can't even visit you! Again, CURSE YOU SWINE FLU! And he might be in the hospital up to 3 weeks. :(

216: Get well soon Adam!

2009-07-10T00:01:00.003+08:00

"When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most."

I seriously have nothing interesting to blog about except that I realised that I am extremely annoying when I am in the state of boredom heh heh. Anyways just heard from Adam's sister that he's admitted into the hospital. Am very sad now lah of course. I wanna visit him but I can't because no outsiders is allowed and only close relatives due to the H1N1 outbreak. Nabei cb curse you swine flu! Please get well soon Adam :(

The reason why this extremely "genious" skaterboy is admitted into the hospital is because he went skateboarding despite his broken arm and he broke his arm again. -.- I swear I feel like whacking him uh now. Lol oh and thank you kakak for the information on your stubborn brother! On a brighter note, he has his laptop with him and we managed to communicate via MSN just now for awhile. Heh heh now I am a little happy already.

Anyways later going to accompany my aunt plus granny to SGH for some check up. I am sexcited for this Saturday cause will be going on a shopping trip with the usuals afterwhich we'll be watching DVR performance at Ben & Jerry's located inside The Cathay. Saturday with the usuals equal to fun as always!

I love you but why am I closer to him?

215: I'm boring now, seriously.

2009-07-09T01:31:00.004+08:00

Break The Chains (Y)

Yay, finally Blogger can upload photos! The photo above is credits to Farah. Anyways, I wasn't satisfied with my previous blogskin and tried to find a nice blogskin but to no avail. So I decided not to waste my time and just use this which is quite simple. Anyways did nothing much and nothing interesting happened yesterday. Met the usuals and chilled with them til around 6pm.

Get well soon Adam and please see the doctor soon, you dumbdumb. Don't make me drag you to the clinic on our movie date please. Yah lah, I fierce now with you lol. You're so stubborn and I feel like poking you using the sharpest pencil ever hahahaha!

Hello passerby. Sorry if my entries these days aren't interesting as always. The truth is somehow I have nothing interesting or exciting to blog about. Oh and thank you very much for reading my blog and the compliment you've given me. And the blog songs are -

Intan(1) - A Promise In The Dark - Keri Hilson
Intan(2) - Guilty Pleasure - Cobra Starship
Intan(3) - Pictures Of You - The Last Goodnight
Intan(4) - Homecoming - Hey Monday

I might be moving to livejournal but don't worry, I shall let you know my livejournal url through one of my entries. The next time you tag, please leave your name and email. I would really like to keep in touch with my readers. Take care and much love, Intan Amanina.

/EDITED

Oh baby, our secret is safe. *kenings naik-naik*

214: Livejournal is better than Blogger hints

2009-07-08T00:10:00.003+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday, Ahmad Faruq!
One more year and you can buy cigarettes for me lol okay I don't even smoke. -.- Anyways one of the funniest people I ever met and you always make me laugh everytime we talk. But at times, I feel like poking you using the sharpest pencil ever cause you're loyar buruk lol. Especially just now, you asked me to draw you a colourful cake on MSN. -.- Okay okay may all your wishes and dreams come true k Faruq! I wanted to post a photo of you sleeping with air liuh basi and all but too bad I don't have it lol.

I will permanently move to livejournal soon but there's no need to relink me cause I will still update this blog. Anyways so far only four people knows what's my url on livejournal heh heh. The rest, go figure.

/EDITED!

Seriously. Why are guys so egoistic? Sheesh.

213: Bla bla bla

2009-07-07T19:18:00.006+08:00

I have Twitter on my blog now, yay! *insert excited face* And I've changed my blogskin too. ^^ I am happy now but I am also feeling bad cause (read my other blog if you know the link but of course, you people don't know MUAHAHAHA). I feel like deleting this blog, I swear especially since Blogger cannot upload photos for some unknown reasons. It's really pissed me off, I swear.

Meet the usuals just now and they made me laugh til my stomach hurts eventhough there was some drama heh heh. And I is addiced to the cookies from 7-11. Yummy yummy!

I realised my number of readers has decreased eversince I don't do proper updates here. Wells, I am really sorry but I rather be low profile now. I am trying my very best not to blog about my personal matters here. But it seems like my personal matters is what makes this blog interesting. Now it's just dull and has nothing interesting for you people to read. I may finally let you people know my other blog link someday but not soon.

And to whoever it may concern, I told you - I love your hair and not you please HEH HEH ^^V

212: Maybe It's You

2009-07-07T11:27:00.001+08:00

Pasal saya suka rambut awak.

He's not anyone's, he's just mine. He looks like himself and not anyone else. Please stop asking.

211: NiZaMxZxZ HAHAH!

2009-07-06T00:20:00.004+08:00

I told you.

210: Break The Chains!

2009-07-05T02:16:00.003+08:00

Still haven't found me right? Here are the gig photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/29/Break_The_Chains

A proper update will only be done at my other blog heh heh ^^V

209: Tweet tweet!

2009-07-04T11:40:00.005+08:00

Found me yet? Heheh I know you haven't. Wells, here a hint - it's either tumblr or livejournal. Figure the url yourself. For now, feel free to follow me on Twitter.

208: Run Away

2009-07-04T00:12:00.004+08:00

My heart cries, my eyes weep. Is there any way that I could exist without needing you? :(

Anyways since I can no longer post anything happy here, I will be away from Blogger for awhile and blog somewhere where you people can't find me. I don't wanna bore you people seriously so yeah, find me if you're smart enough

BYE!

207: One Last

2009-07-03T00:01:00.008+08:00

CURSES! This is just a quiz but ugh, nevermind lah. -.- Please click to enlarge k. Seriously, choy uh. Touch wood touch wood lol.

"One thing I truely knew --- knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest --- was how love gave someone the power to break you." - Bella Swan, New Moon.

Everytime I tried to take a step at all, I see your face in my mind and I fall. I would suddenly smell the scent of you randomly cause I am missing you too much. But what could I do? There is nothing I could do but cry in silence every single night. Sadly, you can't hear me and you can't feel how hideous I've been feeling. I don't even expect you to cause I know I deserve this whole lot of pain. I would like to make you happy and erase all the pain I've caused. But then again, I have failed once and I know I would fail again somewhat. So I shall just let someone else make you happy and watch you from far. It will gruesomely kill me but I'll take that risk cause baby, I love you too much. And you deserve all the happiness you could get.

And my every try at love never works out. :(

Hi hi people. Forget the emo paragraph above, I just created a new How Well Do You Know Me quiz on Facebook yesterday and if you wanna prove that the only thing you know about me is not just my name, feel free to try the quiz - How Well Do You Know Intan Amanina? So far only Nurul and Farhan the pretty boy passed the quiz. The rest all failed lol wells, not their faults uh cause the answers to my questions in the quiz cheat people feelings only heh heh. ^^V

On a totally different note, I feel like baking cupcakes and brownies! Very random I know but I've wanting to bake cupcakes and then give it to someone special. Since I have no someone special, I shall just bake for my girls. And Faris, my lips is like sugar lol you know I know eh. *kenings naik-naik* And I am currently watching the first season of Power Rangers on YouTube. Laugh eh please laugh hahahaha! Faris is jealous cause I love red ranger lol and please eh, you're so not white ranger uh. I am pink ranger uh why lol dream on intan!

/EDITED!

Ya ALLAH. Please give me the strength to face all this. I am not strong enough to face this all alone and without You by my side. I need only You now. No one else but You, my creator. I know I've done too many sins and I know I deserve all this. But please make me stronger to face all this. Please wipe my tears away cause You're the one only who could do that, no one else. Please erase all the doubts I am having inside of me. Please forgive all my sins. Amin.

Don't you know it's hurting me too much? Too much that at times I wish that I would stop breathing. Cause breathing is so hard right now. All I could do is cry, cry at my own mistake and mess. Why did you have to go? WHY?

206: Exacerbate

2009-07-02T00:06:00.001+08:00

I had quite a nice day yesterday. Eventhough I didn't sleep the night before, I was feeling extremely hyper. I thought of having breakfast at KFC but it was way too early. So decided to give it a miss and continued watching Gila-Gila Pengantin Remaja online. The movie was seriously hilarious! I was actually crying and laughing at the same time. Around 11am, I felt like going out to watch a movie. So I called Faris up who was still sleeping like a pig, as usual. He answered the phone in a step fresh kind of voice. I then in my most high pitch voice ever, I bugged him to wake up muahahaha! He eventually did and that's when I randomly told him that I wanted to get married lol. Member from sleepy become fresh instantly HAHAHAHA! Anyways asked him if he wanted to watch a movie with me. Of course he wanted to but he wanted to watch Transformers 2 and I didn't want to. So I told him off and said, "If you wanna watch Transformers, you watch alone k." Then I hung up. Lol okay I know my attitude like nabei cb.

Dini was online so I randomly asked her if she wanted to watch a movie with me. She agreed and decided to watch Ghosts of Girfriends Past. Dini wanted to watch the movie either at The Cathay or Cathay Cineleisure. So I went to check the timings online. Sadly, the timings were either too early or too late for us. The timing for Cathay Ehub was just nice but we both dislike going to Pasir Ris. So we decided to watch the movie at Golden Village, Vivo City. Meet up with Dini at Sengkang mrt and took the train to Harbourfront. Proceeded to the cinema and bought tickets for the 5.40pm show. The show was more than an hour away so we decided to fill our empty stomach first. I had a sudden craving for pasta so we headed to Pastamania at Harbourfront Centre. I had Chicken Cheese Salsiccia and Dini had Creamy Chicken. The meal was really filling. After the meal, we chilled at the Sky Park. Around 5.20pm, we walked back to the cinema. Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. It was really touching that I teared. After the movie, we decided to head back home by bus.

On the way home, Faris msg-ed me and asked me if I wanted to meet up for awhile. I was reluctant at first but finally agreed cause I do miss him a little. So yeah, I alighted at the bus stop outside Hougang interchange. From far I could see Faris waiting for me as he listened to music with his huge headphones, singing to himself lol. I swear he looked like an overgrown kid especially since he was wearing his Transformers shirt which I didn't know he had cause I never seen him wearing it before. Greeted him with a huge and tight Barney hug. Sat there for awhile and I didn't know why but I had butterflies in my stomach like as if it was our first meeting. Then Granny called, asking me to buy instant coffee mix. So the two of us walked to Fairprice located inside Hougang Mall. We were like taking our own sweet time and walked around the supermarket. He was being an annoyance and kept doing the actions to Cobra Starship's Guilty Pleasure. -.- It super irritating that I had to bite his hand to make him stop lol. Yes, I bit his hand in public at the supermarket. Bought the instant coffee mix and decided to hang out at the playground nearby my house. On the way there, we were making fool of ourselves and laughing all the way. He kept pinching my fat arm and I kept slapping his skinny arm hahahaha!

This gayfag kept complaining that he was hungry. So we went to buy instant cup noodles first at 7-11 which was just in front of the playground. Bought the noodles and drinks, then sat down on the bench and ate as we talked. After eating, he showed me this funny video on his Ipod. I continued watching a bunch of annoying yet funny videos on this Ipod as he played his psp. His face sumpah cannot maintain hahahaha! Sat on the swings available as we shared stories. Then this boy wanna step romantic and wanna count the stars. Lol sadly, there weren't any stars. Too bad eh you! :P Soon, it was time to go home. He sent me til my void deck and we parted ways with xoxo.

When I love you and so untrue.
I can't even convince myself.
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else.
- Broken Strings, James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado

I'm afraid, just too afraid. I have vowed to myself that I'll slip but I will never fall anymore. A big thank you to Irfan and Farah for hearing me out yesterday via sms. Helping Farah tomorrow to prepare for her N level English oral examination.

Currently, I am searching for suitable reading passage as I am hogging on the phone with Faris. We just learnt a new word which is 'exacerbate' and we kept using the word in almost every sentence eventhough there is no link to what we're talking about lol. And now he's irritated cause I am busy updating my blog and never entertain him. He's trying to annoy me back now by keep on pressing his keypad which makes a loud beep. -.- Okaaaay, now he wants to wear lipgloss cause his lips is dry. Gayfag! -.- And now he giving me lame teka-teki lol. Okay okay, I better go entertain him now.

205: Viva La Cobra!

2009-07-01T00:03:00.004+08:00

I've stated it at my profile - if my choice of lifestyle is unacceptable to you, please fuck off. So what if I listen to hardcore songs? It has nothing to do with you, ILAA. If my choice of songs bother you so much, why bother visiting my blog and even tagging? I clearly stated above my tagboard that I will not entertain severe retardation. You should feel honoured cause I am actually taking time to evaluate your tag eventhough I've deleted it. And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. For further discussion, feel free to add me up on MSN. Cause hatetagging is so last summer please. :)

Some people just suck and there's nothing you can do about it.

Anyways I am addicted to Cobra Starship, thanks to Faris. -.- There's this particular dance moves to the song Guilty Pleasure and Ameera showed it to me once. It's not exactly dance moves but it's actually just some actions (see above). Anyways Faris just loves singing to the song and doing the actions too at the same time. Yes, it is very cute but it gets really annoying when he did it like a thousand times while walking. Yes, while walking! -.- Plus he looks gay when he does the actions lol oh wells, he's just being Faris. Monkey boy hahahaha!

i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care about my guilty pleasure for you

/EDITED!

It's 3.45am and I am still awake. Feeling kinda blue actually. Oh wells, I am gonna keep myself busy so my thoughts won't run towards his direction. K bye!

204: I got over you.

2009-06-30T00:03:00.006+08:00

I feel better. I feel like I am a whole new person. All the hatred I had is now gone suddenly. I decided to let bygones be bygones and forgive him. I don't think my forgiveness means anything to him now. But it makes me feel good and ease the pain I've been feeling in my heart for months. Wells, what's done is done. I couldn't possibly turn back the time no matter how badly I wanted to.

On a totally different note, I am craving for sushi, sushi and more sushi please. Irfan's craving is much more random and sudden. He's craving for Chilli Crab. -.- And Farhan is super happy cause I've finally posted about Michael Jackson's death on my blog yesterday eventhough I didn't say much. What only lah this pretty boy heh! Anyways I miss Farah like alot alot lah please. Kak Imaz just came back from Pulau Tioman a few days ago and bought her 2 pair of dresses! No fair, I wanna dresses too. :(

And it's okay to be single. Moving on does not mean you have to start loving someone else and get a new boyfriend. Maybe moving on is about becoming a whole new and better person.

/EDITED!

Your love will run and hide.
Leave me on my own.
- The People's Elbow, Attack Attack.

I am feeling pissed cause my laptop won't let me download songs. And this guy on BearShare is starting to annoy me. I am so gonna block him now.

(minahrep for one minute) HAHAH! Kau tak puas hati? Meh uh, pukul aku sampai kicap uh amacam? Aku pun rindu kau lah nabei cb! Pukimak kau lah lol!

203: Divided by so many memories.

2009-06-29T00:03:00.004+08:00

For Friday's photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/28/swimmingbbq_chicken

Friday: Went swimming with my 2 younger siblings and Mama's family at Sengkang Sports Centre or something, located at Farmway. It's the smaller version of Wild Wild Wet and the admission fee is only 80 cents! So yeah, I had lots of fun swimming but I didn't try any of the slides out. After swimming, we headed down to Tampines to meet Mum, Cik Da and her little kids. Mum treated all of us lunch at BBQ Chicken, Tampines One. The Jerk Chicken was so tasty and very spicy. I like! It's a must-try, I tell you. After the overfilling meal, Mum had an appointment with her friends in Town and the rest of us proceeded to Tampines Mall. Went to Cotton On, I bought the shorts I wanted while Ameera bought the top she wanted since forever lol. I actually wanted to get the dress I've been eye-ing for ages, but it's not on sale. So I decided to pass and maybe get it when it's on sale, hopefully soon heh heh. Mama promised to treat us ice cream and Haagen Dazs was just outside Cotton On. We settled down and went through menu. But the prices was too expensive and unreasonable. So we headed to Swensen's for ice cream. Finally I've satisfied my craving for ice cream and had Frosted Chocolate Malt which tasted like heaven! After that, we went to Century Square as Mama had to collect her jewellery from SK Jewellery. Before heading back to Ameera's place, Ameera accompanied me to buy my prepaid top-up card.

Saturday: Intially, Mum was suppose to bring my siblings and I out but she had to attend her friend's engagement ceremony at the last minute. So I went to Island Resort, East Coast to help out at the 4PM LYF Day. Overall, the event was okay and I made lots of new friends.

Sunday: Spent the day with Mum, 2 younger siblings, Mama, Cik Da plus the little kids. Since siblings and I slept over at Ameera's place, we met up with Mum at Tampines Interchange. Then all of us took the mrt to Bugis to meet Cik Da and kids there. Inside the mrt on the way to Bugis, I sat beside a cute guy *insert mentel smile* and our skins kept on touching accidentally. He was so cute, I swear! We alighted at the same station which is Bugis and I couldn't help but to ogle at him. Then I squealed about him to Bibik since Ameera wasn't around. While waiting for Cik Da, we went for lunch first at the Food Junction as we were all famished. Then Cik Da finally came and we headed to the BHG. From BHG, we proceeded to Bugis Street. I wanted to get a new dress but unfortunately, nothing caught my eyes. Plus the place was so crowded and it made me moodless to shop. We then went to McDonalds for ice cream before walking around Parco and Bugis Junction. Mama was tired so she and her kids decided to head home first. Followed by Cik Da and her kids. The rest of us then walked to Suntec. Went to Harris as Mum wanted to get some school stuff for my siblings. Afterwhich, we decided to pay Starbucks a visit. Maman was on duty and I gave him a huge Barney hug since we haven't met for so long! He looks different now. More hotter now heh heh! I was hoping Faruq was on duty but unfortunately, he wasn't. Haiya! After that, Mum, siblings and I decided to take 107 home. Inside 107, bumped into Fairuz Ibrahim! The ex boyfriend I dated when I was in Secondary 2. I still remember we used to go on study dates cause I was having my EOY and he was taking his O levels. Anyways, he sat beside me and I gave him a huge Barney hug lol. We caught up about almost everything all the way back to Hougang. I don't know why but I had so much to talk to him lol. He then alighted at the bus stop before Serangoon JC while my family members and I alighted at Hougang Interchange.

to YOU - I didn't know what to feel when you hugged me out of the sudden. But yes, I was a little shocked and didn't know how to react. Somewhat, the hug was something I needed for a long time. I felt better and I had alot to tell you but I couldn't. Mental block, I guess. Things are very different now and we're miles apart. I wish I really could turn back the time. I missed the way things were months ago. No ______, no feuds. But what's done is done and life has to move on. Now I just hope things would be better between us and I really hope to meet you soon.

Anyways, I wanna thank these people for helping me get through the dark period and brightening up my life. Thank you for constantly being there for me to hear me out and I love you guys!

Faris - The Sunshine to my cloudy day whom makes me laugh with his corny jokes and annoying laughter. I swear this army boy to be will always be my Abang Handsome, Jacob Black and favourite gayfag lol.
Farhan - My pretty boy who's so obsessed with Megan Fox lol. The one who made me realised that life isn't all about love and relationships. But what matters the most is yourself, family and friends.
Yaan - This cute boy always accompany online late at night and we'll talk crap non-stop. Sucha funny boy!
Irfan - Eventhough we've known each other for less than a week, we can click very well and have become very close. He always showers me with praises which make me blush lol and we could text each other all day long.
Farah - My favourite homegirl who's always stuck in the same situation as me. Among the rest, she understands and knows me the most. I love spending time with her and we always have something to talk or joke about. She never fails to erase my sadness away eventhough just for awhile.
Zee - She always give me advices and encouragement to move on. I've been wanting to hang out with this lovely girl but there's always something stopping us. Nevermind, we shall meet up soon!

And Ameera, I am so proud of you babe! Finally after six years, you confessed your feelings for him. All the best and he's crazy if he doesn't feel the same way. I love you cousin!

I know this is a little too late but rest in peace, Michael Jackson and may Allah always be with you. Amin.

202: Better In Time

2009-06-27T22:26:00.001+08:00

Currently using Ameera's laptop and yes, I am at her crib since yesterday. Will do a proper update and upload photos on Multiply once I'm home. Have a great weekend, everyone! :)

201: Gotta break down and breathe.

2009-06-26T00:04:00.003+08:00

I had a very bad day yesterday. I can't stop crying. I was feeling depressed, angry, pissed, upset, sad and stupid all in one. Tired of crying, I went to the kitchen and ate whatever is edible inside the fridge. Can't find anything more to eat, I went to the pasar malam nearby alone and bought more food. My mental health was seriously in a huge mess. Finish eating, I took a nap for a few hours. Around 8plus, Awie came and did some presentation. He was nervous at first but he was okay after awhile.

Awie: You got nerve pain?
Intan: Nope, heartpain got uh.
Awie: -.-

200: Sentosa!

2009-06-25T00:09:00.009+08:00

For more photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/27/Sentosa

The all-girls Sentosa outing was awesome! At first I thought I couldn't wake up on time as I slept at 6am in the morning and I was suppose to wake up at 8.30am. That's like less than 3 hours of sleep! But fortunately, I managed to wake up at 9am and msg-ed the girls. Helped Granny to prepare Mee Goreng and ran some errands before getting ready. Meet up with Farah, Anna and Ziela at Hougang mrt control station. Took the mrt to Harbourfront and meet up with Nini there. Took the monorail to Sentosa, followed by the tram to Pahlawan beach. Luck wasn't on our side as it started to rain. We settled down under the shelter and we camwhored. The rain finally stopped and we moved to some other spot. Farah and I could not wait but to get into the water. Soon after, Anna joined us. Ziela didn't bring extra clothes so she just watched us by the side while Nini took photos of us. Feeling famished, we returned to the shore and had our lunch. We ate as we camwhored and joked around. Anna and Farah went back into the water as I took a nap. Around 4pm, we washed up and took monorail back to Harbourfront. Meet up with Faiz at Vivo City afterwhich we proceeded to our secret spot at the sky park. Farah wanted to get a new, cheap shirt as her top was showing too much of her cleavage. Nini, Anna and I accompanied Farah, leaving our belongings with Faiz and Ziela giving them some time alone together. Walked to Harbourfront Center to search for Farah's shirt but to no avail. We ended up buying ice cream from McDonalds and sushi from Cold Storage. Returned to our secret spot and Aqul came. Had a mini picnic there as there were still lots of food left. Slacked and we planned to go eat Durians together soon. Bored, we decided to take 80 back to Hougang. On the way back to Hougang inside 80, I kept to myself most of the time cause I suddenly had no mood. Arrived at Hougang, I followed them to the pasar malam near Hougang Mall before heading back home.

Homies, we shall eat Durians and dine at Sakae Sushi soon. We're all monsters for the king of fruits and of course, Japanese food!

I feel like I'm wearing a mask. I've been pretending to love. I've been faking a smile and laughter every single day. It's been months and I still haven't manage to genuinely smile or laugh yet. It makes me cry whenever I think too much about it. I am drowning deep in the waters of depression. To make things worse, no one can save me. I am lost with no direction and I feel so confused most of the time. My faith is shaking.

I am in a state of extreme drowsiness right now. I don't think I'll be hogging on the phone with Farhan tonight cause I'm really in need of sleep. Good night and have a nice day tomorrow, readers!

/EDITED!

Hi hi. I just woke up from my beauty sleep heh heh ^^ Last night talked to Farhan for awhile before chatting online with Yaan til wee hours. We've chatting online til wee hours for a few days now. So I didn't really hit the sheets early last night. In fact, I dozed off with my laptop on around 3plus in the morning. -.- Yaan's fault uh ni lol okay no.

Awie coming over to my crib later. I don't know whatever for but it has to do with his small business. So random, so awkward. We're cousins but we don't really talk much? Actually, he's the one who doesn't talk much.

Eh I think I'm crushing on someone. Woot woot! ^^ K I know no one asked but who cares HAHAHAHA!

/EDITED!

For now on, please don't promise me anything. Cause if I let myself hope and it came to nothing, it would kill me all over again. :'(

/EDITED!

This song is for YOU*

Promise In The Dark - Keri Hilson

Listen…

Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it
It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings
The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it
This can’t work anymore, than you believe it

Goodbye may come as a shock
Even though I love you a lot
I’ve given every breath I’ve got
Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

Listen…

I just don’t know what the problem is, what the deal is
Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn’t see it?
All these promises are probably how you deal with it
I’m tired of hearing you say your innocent

Don’t think I forgot
Because I really didn’t, who cares if you’re lieing or not
I’ve given every breath I’ve got
Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

We all make mistakes
Sometimes we do desperate things
What does it prove? NOTHING
And you never do nothing wrong

Then what took you so long, took you so long
Cuz I keep, keep hanging on, keep, keep hanging on

And how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me
So don’t promise me

*YOU is more than one person.

199: LG KS360

2009-06-24T00:10:00.004+08:00

I am feeling extremely elated now. Mum agreed to get me this baby above soon, yay! Actually, she wanted to get a new handphone for brother. But brother wants my current handphone which is W910i. So what else, I took the advantage and bugged Mum to get me this pink LG KS360. Mum said she'll get me the handphone by either end of this month or next month and my W910i will be brother's. Since I am getting a new handphone, no shopping for a month. No new dresses for me this month. :(

On a brighter note, later will be going to Sentosa with the girls. This is an all-girls outing which means no boys allowed heh. Finally we're gonna go to Sentosa together and have fun at the splishy splashy beach. I am so sexcited please! ^^

And girls, please try your very best not to be late. Latecomers will be strip naked as a punishment at the beach later on. Especially Ziela since you're always late lol. Okay see you lovelies later. Mwah!

Currently chatting with Farhan. His prepaid's low now but we managed to talk on the phone just now. Thank you pretty boy for brightening my day! Yes, we're gonna go watch Transformer 2 soon together.

I am craving for Thai food and sushi. Lol random I know and I've been having all sorts of random and sudden cravings these days. Anyways I swear I was extremely pissed with my internet connection just now. I had a overpowering urge to hammer the modem but of course I didn't. Instead I called Singtel and managed to fix the internet connection with the guidance of the customer service officer over the phone. Yay me!

198: I'm better off alone

2009-06-23T11:24:00.006+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday, Zully Malto!

/EDITED!

Oh wells, nothing interesting happened yesterday. It was much more duller than other days. Anyways I stayed at home the whole freaking day for the first time since last week. I was in the state of extreme drowsiness and laziness. I spent the day, hogging the laptop. Chatting with Farah and Farhan the pretty boy mostly before he went to his friend's crib.

Last night, I felt depressed out of the sudden. It's not because of Sunshine, I must say. I'm afraid it's because of someone else. I was frustrated with myself. Then I started to cry alone in silence. I should start making myself busy again so the thoughts of him won't fill my currently empty mind.

Soon after, Farhan called and he cheered me up. This pretty boy still doesn't believe that Megan Fox is a man. And he thinks Joe Jonas is a gayfag. Nabei cb uh this boy lol. Anyways he said that I'm weird cause I'm the one that calls him Farhan instead of An like everybody else. -.- Whatever it is, you still owe me ice cream k lol.

I wonder how can we be this far when we were once so close. We're drifting further apart by day since the small tiff we had. Surprisingly, I could not be bothered. But you're still saying that things are the same and showing me that everything's gonna go back to normal when it's not. I can hardly talk to you anymore without any cold or bitterness. But somehow I do miss your annoying laughter and lame, corny jokes. Oh I miss you, Sunshine.

Mengapa yang lain bisa
Mendua dengan mudahnya
Namun kita terbelenggu
Dalam ikatan tanpa cinta

197: The Weekend

2009-06-22T10:08:00.005+08:00

For more Saturday's photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/26/sheeshailuma

Saturday: Spent the day with the usuals. Meet up with Farah and Anna at Hougang Mall. We went to Cotton On to get each the Cotton On bag plus one for Ziela. Bought wrapping paper for Ziela's present then proceeded to the rooftop to wrap the present we bought for her a few days before. Afterwhich, we walked to Hougang Interchange and took 51 from there to Bugis. Meet up with Faiz and Ziela first in front of Long John Silver. Not long after, Aqul and Nini came. Walked to Reis Turkish Cafe at Haji Lane for our sheesha - Ziela's treat. Ordered two sheesha, I couldn't remember what the flavours we ordered were though. The sheesha were stronger than the usual we had at Al Tazzag. For some reasons, we were feeling a little high especially Aqul. After sheesha, we walked aimlessly before deciding to just hang around Iluma. Walked around the new mall and finally we found a spot to chill at the top level. Since I was having my period which makes me more sensitive than usual, I teared due to some reasons. But I felt okay soon after that. Then security guards came and told us that we couldn't hang out there. So we decided to just head back home. All of us except Ziela and Faiz took 51 back to Hougang. Inside the bus, we were talking non-stop and laughing too loud as always. Then randomly, we showed each other our kental photos on our ezlink cards. Aqul's face was damn fucking hilarious man! He was so chubby and the way he smiled in the photo was really funny. Even the bus inspector who came to check our ezlink cards agrees hahahaha!

Bus Inspector: Gimme your ezlink. Show me your handsome face.
Aqul: *handed his ezlink card to him*
Bus Inspector: *sees his hilarious & kental face* WALAUWEI!
All of us: HAHAHAHA!
Bus Inspector: So different uh your face. But now better uh. *handed him his ezlink card back & walks away*

We couldn't stop laughing afterwards. Finally we arrived in Hougang, all of us alighted at the bus stop near Anna and Farah's blk. Farah and Anna accompanied Nini, Aqul and I wait for 62. As usual, 62 took like a million years to arrive. While waiting, we talked about lots of things and we girls talked about how fortunate guys are that they do not have to go through period and all. Finally 62 came and I alighted at the bus stop near Punggol Park while Nini and Aqul alighted at Punggol Interchange.

Sunday: Went to Pak Long's house in Tanglin Halt for a family gathering as my 8 year old cousin, Haszrin just berkhatan a few days ago. Didn't do much there except eat, sleep, eat and sleep. Oh yeah and of course, played with the young ones plus talked to my aunts. Haszrin's little brother, Hasryan was so cute! I disturbed him on why he didn't sunat like his brave brother did.

Me: Apasal tak sunat, Ryan? Kalau tak sunat, tak boleh kahwin tau.
Hasryan: Tak nak. Ryan tak nak kahwin.

He is so adorable lah can. Then something happened but I shall not elaborate more here. For the first time ever, I saw Abang Shidi got so mad at his mother that he walked away. I tried to calm him but he ignored me completely. -.- Anyways it's not his fault. Shall not talk about this anymore. Soon after the incident, my family and I went home. But before that we dropped by Acap's house, to give his family some food. After that, headed straight home.

Talked to Farhan on the phone before hitting the sheets. This pretty boy is so obsessed with Megan Fox. -.- Please eh Farhan, Megan Fox is a man, for God's sake. Sheesh! Lol anyways you owe me ice cream k. Plus the Twilight saga is not emoshit k nabei uh you lol.

Now I am very, very bored please and not in my best mood, I should say. Plus that someone hasn't making things better also or maybe I am the ego one. Ugh whatever k I can't be bothered already. I have my homegirls and that's all I ever need. I've been a bitch and I think it's great.

Oh and a few nights ago, I had this dream. I don't know whether it's a good or bad dream. But I am absolutely positive that it will never come true. I also don't want it to come true? Zee's right, I am one confused girl. -.- Anyways seriously babe, meet up soon!

/EDITED!

Heard that RP is suspected with a H1N1 case muahahahaha! Wonder who's the nice person that is infected. Oh wells, hope _____ will get infected too and die. I am so mean and evil, I know.

Currently chatting with Farhan and finding a new blogskin for my blog. I am feeling really, really bored. I am craving for ice kacang hahahaha random I know.

196: Tiring Weekend

2009-06-21T21:26:00.001+08:00

I am tired. Will do a proper update tomorrow and Saturday's photos will be uploaded on Multiply by tomorrow. K bye!

195: Apa Artinya Cinta

2009-06-20T00:07:00.009+08:00

Hannah Montana, the soft toy monkey who accompany me each and every night in bed without fail.

And Farah won't stop calling HER, Ahmad Elias Sufi or something -.-

Anyways I met up with Farah and Anna yesterday at the bus stop opposite my blk. Anna wanted to borrow a dress for later. Borrowed her a dress and we proceeded to the void deck nearby to hang out. We chit-chatted and I had this crazy idea of eating durians at Bishan Skatepark lol. Bored, we headed down to the library to read and borrow books. Afterwhich, both of them followed me back to my crib and had their late lunch there.

Watched Apa Artinya Cinta online yesterday's evening. Samuel Rizal is so adorable lah can! His character in the movie, Dara doesn't talk much but when he does, he sounds so cute please. Why can't Sunshine be like him? Instead my baby talks non-stop and has a very annoying yet cute laughter. Lol but no matter what, I still love him the same and he's the cutest thing everrrrr like Hercules. I'm sure when he reads this, he's gonna kembang and smile from ear to ear which makes him even more cuter. Abang Handsome mah hahahaha!

/EDITED!

I am pissed off and I'm tired of everything. Do whatever you want k baby. Do whatever that pleases you and makes you happy. I'm tired of repeating the same thing over and over again. I'm not giving up on you, on us but I am very tired of your crap seriously. If you wanna talk or meet me today, you have to find your own way. I won't be entertaining any of your calls/smses cause I will be too busy having fun with my friends, like you prolly did last night. You wanna be an ass right, I can be worser. I think I have been nice enough to you.

I love him very much and everything but sometimes he really gets on my nerves that I swear I feel like killing him. Grrr, let's not talk about the boy anymore. It makes me feel like killing him even more. On a brighter note, will be going sheesha with the usuals yay!

/EDITED!

I made up my mind. Farah said something that made me think and I think I don't wanna get into a relationship. I think Sunshine and I should stick to dating til we're strong enough to step into a relationship. I know I keep changing my mind and it's so contradicting. But I think this time I am gonna stick to this decision I made.

He better not think this is because of what he did last night. I just feel like I need more time to adapt to him and all. Ahhh, and suddenly I feel so insecure and paranoid. Damn you ex boyfriends! Except my first boyfriend, of course. He was awesome and I dumped him. -.-

/EDITED!

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CLIMB