Wednesday, May 27, 2009
171: Love. Life. Meaning. Over.
Happy 16th Birthday, Farah babygirl!
Happy 17th Birthday, Nini babygirl!Everyone knows that I obviously love the both of you and you both love me too lol. Nini, I hope you and Aqul last long then get married and make babies alot alot k. Then don't forget to invite me to your wedding cause I wanna makan free hahahaha. Farah, hurry and find a boyfriend then get married and make babies. Or better, you both get married on the same day since your birthday also on the same day lol. May all your dreams come true and may you two also succeed in life! Okay finish reading already? Don't kembang and stop smiling in front of the computer hahahaha. I LOVE YOU TWO TIL DEATH!
This Sunday is Farah's birthday party at East Coast Park. Yay, can makan free! Hahahaha anyways I'll be thonning there with the girls. Abang Handsome was being shameless and invited himself to the party. -.- But I don't know if he's gonna attend it or not since we had a small arguement just now. Ugh, shall elaborate more on this later. -.-
I spent my day with the girls yesterday, just slacking under the void. Meet up with Ziela babygirl outside Hougang Mall before she accompanied me to run some errands. Then both of us were famished and had our brunch at KFC. Afterwhich, we walked around Hougang Mall and decide what to get for Farah. Around 2pm, we made our move to meet Farah and Nini at blk 249. We were at the interchange, waiting for 51 when a retarded guy tried to snatch Ziela's bag. But he failed and walked off. -.- Then Ziela pointed her middle finger and kept on cursing the guy. Finally 51 came and we boarded the bus to blk 249. Hung out under the void deck before Nini went off to meet Aqul. As usual, Ziela and Farah made me laugh til my stomach hurts. I was being random and msg-ed Abang Handsome and Nurul, telling them what are my current cravings lol. Not long after, Ana came and we continue slacking before parting ways and head home around 5pm.
"Loving you madly will be forever." I've been re-reading the words I already memorized. Anyways the keyword is Forever. I checked the dictionary and the meaning/definition is - For everlasting time, eternally. But I guess that someone's meaning/definition of Forever is just a week. Oh and I did lose the letter forever but I didn't lose the contents of the letter. I was bored yesterday evening and so I went through the entries of my private blog. Then I realised I actually typed and published the contents of the letter there which I totally forgot I did. -.-
"He has never been the one for you, he has never chosen you. But you continue to destroy your life for him. Why can't you just walk away? Oh right, because you're an idiot." If loving him makes me an idiot, then I am very idiotic. I could not say that I would not care if you're not there. I can feel that you're getting bored and sick of me, talking and complaining about him like all the time. I know that every single time we meet or talk, I'll always mention his name at least once or twice.
I can apologise a million times to you but I know you'll still feel hurt. But nevertheless, I did apologise and I mean it. I don't know til when you're gonna give me the cold shoulder. But I'm use it already, I'm use to people giving me this kind of shit uh. If you're really leaving, I have to say that I'm gonna miss your presence. But if your life is happier without me, then go k. I also don't want to hurt you further and I know I cannot make you happy. Again, I am very sorry Faris.
/EDITED!
I am very shagged right now. Last night, I slept at 3am again. It's somehow has been a routine for me to talk to Dyno the pakcik before I sleep or to be exact, before I fall asleep on the phone lol.
Later will be meeting Nurul at Tampines Library, out of all places in Singapore. Then afterwhich, we might be meeting that someone. Gahhhh, I need to talk to him very badly about something. I actually wrote everything down already on a piece of paper, somehow like a letter to express my feelings. But I think I should just tell him face-t0-face. I feel so.... nervous. So awkward. I've never really express my feelings for someone face-to-face. But there's a first time for everything right? :S
Where's my Jacob Black? :(
This Sunday is Farah's birthday party at East Coast Park. Yay, can makan free! Hahahaha anyways I'll be thonning there with the girls. Abang Handsome was being shameless and invited himself to the party. -.- But I don't know if he's gonna attend it or not since we had a small arguement just now. Ugh, shall elaborate more on this later. -.-
I spent my day with the girls yesterday, just slacking under the void. Meet up with Ziela babygirl outside Hougang Mall before she accompanied me to run some errands. Then both of us were famished and had our brunch at KFC. Afterwhich, we walked around Hougang Mall and decide what to get for Farah. Around 2pm, we made our move to meet Farah and Nini at blk 249. We were at the interchange, waiting for 51 when a retarded guy tried to snatch Ziela's bag. But he failed and walked off. -.- Then Ziela pointed her middle finger and kept on cursing the guy. Finally 51 came and we boarded the bus to blk 249. Hung out under the void deck before Nini went off to meet Aqul. As usual, Ziela and Farah made me laugh til my stomach hurts. I was being random and msg-ed Abang Handsome and Nurul, telling them what are my current cravings lol. Not long after, Ana came and we continue slacking before parting ways and head home around 5pm.
"Loving you madly will be forever." I've been re-reading the words I already memorized. Anyways the keyword is Forever. I checked the dictionary and the meaning/definition is - For everlasting time, eternally. But I guess that someone's meaning/definition of Forever is just a week. Oh and I did lose the letter forever but I didn't lose the contents of the letter. I was bored yesterday evening and so I went through the entries of my private blog. Then I realised I actually typed and published the contents of the letter there which I totally forgot I did. -.-
"He has never been the one for you, he has never chosen you. But you continue to destroy your life for him. Why can't you just walk away? Oh right, because you're an idiot." If loving him makes me an idiot, then I am very idiotic. I could not say that I would not care if you're not there. I can feel that you're getting bored and sick of me, talking and complaining about him like all the time. I know that every single time we meet or talk, I'll always mention his name at least once or twice.
I can apologise a million times to you but I know you'll still feel hurt. But nevertheless, I did apologise and I mean it. I don't know til when you're gonna give me the cold shoulder. But I'm use it already, I'm use to people giving me this kind of shit uh. If you're really leaving, I have to say that I'm gonna miss your presence. But if your life is happier without me, then go k. I also don't want to hurt you further and I know I cannot make you happy. Again, I am very sorry Faris.
/EDITED!
I am very shagged right now. Last night, I slept at 3am again. It's somehow has been a routine for me to talk to Dyno the pakcik before I sleep or to be exact, before I fall asleep on the phone lol.
Later will be meeting Nurul at Tampines Library, out of all places in Singapore. Then afterwhich, we might be meeting that someone. Gahhhh, I need to talk to him very badly about something. I actually wrote everything down already on a piece of paper, somehow like a letter to express my feelings. But I think I should just tell him face-t0-face. I feel so.... nervous. So awkward. I've never really express my feelings for someone face-to-face. But there's a first time for everything right? :S
Where's my Jacob Black? :(