My days went pretty well I guess except yesterday cause I didn't get to see Anberlin. Thanks to everyone who has made that happen. Sigh! Friends remain as escapism of all unwind complications. Thank you for hearing my every serious issue and awful whinings.

I feel like catching myself realising that beautiful words from a special someone would successfully make the start of a happy day. That would be the moment when I know this special someone would increase the number of my hearbeats every second.

But sometimes I think my feelings shouldn't be the main concern. Sometimes letting your mind control your heart would be the best opinion to avoid problems. I want to start setting priorities right. As you can see I'm still struggling to fit in this demanding life which requires unlimited tolerance. In other words, I'm still confused and clueless.

I believe that if it's meant to be, it will naturally or even magically happen and it's no use pushing it too hard. Meanwhile, take this sad song and make it better. Play it with more passion and soul. But for now, the drummer would conquer this fantasy of mine.

Maybe someday I'll be the most beautiful girl in his thoughts. He'll stare into my eyes and we'll exchange words we certainly meant. And he shall rule my entire world now til end.

But then again life is no cinderella story for a girl like me. The drummer is like this star I know I can never reach but it is what I always wanted. I know who I am and who am I compared to the other girls. They're all very attractive. Everyone wants an attractive lover, yes? And sadly I'm far from attractive.

Hi, I'm dead beat and sorry for not updating yesterday. Had a wonderful day yesterday and the day started off with me meeting Jaja and Nad at City Hall mrt. Break fast time was still a few hours away so we walked around Marina Square before settling down at the staircase near the circle thingy. We camwhored, touched up our make up and talked. By 6.15pm we made our way to the food court cause we feared we might not get seats for break fast. So sat there and camwhored some more heh. We ogled at this guy who sat a table away hehe.

Almost 7pm, we bought our food and drinks. Soon after it was finally break fast time. We were done eaten in less than 20 minutes cause we were so hungry lol! After the meal, we went to the toilet for another touch up before heading to Esplanade for Baybeats.

Nad's friends joined us and we watched Tabasco from Thailand performed. After the performance, we chilled nearby the Powerhouse stage. Watched Meza Virs halfway cause Jaja and I had to meet Susan for awhile nearby the padang. Meet her up and exchanged hugs before Susan proceeded somewhere else with her friends. Jaja and I then meet up with Mizee and Izmir at City Hall mrt before walking back to Baybeats with them.

Saw Ajie and friends so I acknowledged them. Watched Love Me Butch from Malaysia and by 10pm, I had to head back home. The whole gang wanted to head down to Clarke Quay so they sent me to City Hall mrt first. Hehe thank you guys love you all! As usual photos are up on Multiply heh :)

So yeah overall Baybeats was great like I expected it to be. Tomorrow might be another day at Baybeats and I so cannot wait cause:

Non Member: $15
Nebo Member: $5

Instead of those boring movie dates, you might wanna do this activity with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Hehe especially if your boyfriend/girlfriend is a Guitar Hero slash game freak (Y)


Do you want to know what I miss most? I miss the craziest time I had with Farah. I miss the saddest moments I had with her at times to see her tearfully. I miss the sexy promises we used to make in getting the same cool clothes. I miss the cute arguements we had whenever she commented on my undeniable stupid actions and ended up with laughters. Importantly, I miss Farah who used to stand with me for the almost 2 years with funny gossips to share everyday.

We may not be as close as we were today. But I shall not grieve over the past and just smile cause we used to be. You once created pretty memories along with me and craved a mark in my life. Thank you Farah! You know that whenever you need me, I'm just a call away. I still love and miss you bodoh :)


I wanna be the most beautiful girl in his thoughts. It will be the most extraordinary special thing.

Well everyone longed for a perfect life. We had our minds upon these unneccassary things and left those faithfully standing things unremembered. Because now we take things for granted. I wished I had valued those things I've lost. Now I just need someone to wake me up from this fantasy I believe in. I've always thought that the storyline of my life would somewhat occur like some in novels. I need someone to prove me that this thing that doubts me either exist or otherwise.

Now tell me what's your definition of true love. Cause mine is giving someone the power to destroy but trusting them not to.

Oh and before I forget:

I can't believe we're actually friends cause everyone knows that we never talked to each other when we were schooling in PHSS lol. Sorry cause in the past I thought you were kerek but in fact you're one of the best people to hang out and go a movie date with. Haha anyways I wish you all the best in life and may all your dreams come true. Hope you'll have a memorable birthday with your loved ones. Heh love you dini mwah! (L)

You know, they say that you don't know what you're about to lose when you actually lost them. I know no matter how much I treasure and cherish these beautiful things, I'm gonna lose them altogether in some way. There is one little thing that make me smile whenever I think about it and how much it brought me to laugthers and shed my sorrows. But I've lost it. No matter what those beautiful memories had become part of me that I never wanna lose.

I can sit and laugh with friends at what we've been through. But I still have to catch a breath when someone mentions you. Maybe you're still the one my breath is tied to? I thought I've moved on and put those dreams away.

A girl can wait for the right man to come along. But in the meantime, that doesn not mean I can't have a wonderful time with the wrong one right?

Time is running eventhough the days seem to pass by so slowly. But my lips is somehow heavy to say the simplest things that my hearts wants to.

On a completely different note, I miss Eyan and my prepaid's low = no texting him all day + late night phone calls. Syahmi owes me an ice cream eventhough we knew each other only for a few hours. Our conversation is filled with laughter due to my late night crap lol. See you at Baybeats so I can redeem my ice cream heh :)

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langka
Yang menyakinimu
Kau tercipta untukku

Mesti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Kau ingin kau tahu
Ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

And is there a boy out there who can make me feel secure? Tonight and every other night, I wonder what do I really want and what do I actually deserve. A few might think I'm being unreasonable for dumping Faris and I overracted in certain issues and problems. I give stupid unreliable statements that caused several parties to be very, very unhappy including my mother. I want to select the right mutiple choices available right now. But I'm not sure where will I be going next, whatever I choose, whoever will be around me. Yes, I know that people come and go in life. I will never get to choose the choice where everybody stays and make each other happy. But I want that please.

Maybe the truth is I want to run away but afraid of what I've got to lose. I want to stop believing and being deceive by something which I thought was real and then break again. I didn't know forgiving and forgetting isn't as simple as it sounds. I wanna reset and start all over again from the moment nothing painful had ever happened. Well I can only afford my most sincere apology to that one person who had been hurt because of my restlessness. My inspeciality had ruined a perfect relationship, actually.

It's funny to see how people got so ticked off by the slightest mistakes. It's funnier to realise that I'm of them as well. It's never easy understanding me and I never told you it was that simple. Maybe the reason why I never figured out what is the best for me is because I never fully escape from my fantasies. For my whole life, I've been picturing the future would probably turn out like the movies and novels. I tried to convince myself that life is no cinderella story but what hurts the most is that learning what is in real life would make you feel so small and fall apart.

All I need is someone to sing me a love song. And maybe meant every word that escapes from his lips. Eventhough I'll be too captivated with his beautiful eyes to understand what he is singing about.

Where you used to be, there is a hole in my heart. I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

As I look back on all that has happened. Growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me. There were times when we dreamt together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly loved you. The past may have be gone forever and whatever the future holds, you'll always carry my smile with you.

Maybe I'm just no good without you.

I seriously have nothing to blog about and my day was mundane. And I am broke = cannot break fast outside with friends. Very saddening please! Plus my prepaid's low = no more late night phone calls :(

I'm out of movies to watch also. Anyone has good movies to recommend? No horror/thriller please. I do not have the courage to watch horror/thriller movies alone on the laptop. Late at night some more!

I miss watching Gossip Girl. Season 3 please come out faster leh! Can't wait to know what happens next to my favourite GG couple: Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. They're so cute together please!

My craving for dendeng is getting more and more intense by day. Must go to Geylang very, very soon to get it already lol.

And oh yeah, 2 night ago I had a very random dream. I dreamt that Ahmad Faruq Bin Rozali break fast at my house. -.- It's been ages since we've talked and suddenly I dreamt of him. Eh sorry not dream but nightmare. HAHAHAHA!

Okay this is officially a very messy and random post lol. Alrighty me wanna chat online and maybe watch some random movie. Later!

TAG REPLIES!
L2: If you're missing my granny's cookings, come and serang my house during raya. Cannot sabar oi please nak raya! Me miss you, so must break fast outside soon when I'm no longer broke.
Shaiful: Hello and you're linked. :D
****: ZIELA! I thought who sia -.-
Faruq: HAHAHAHA okay dah share kan through msn. NIGHTMARE OI!
Zafrirocker: Band ape? Band cina mampus eh? HAHAHAHA you owe me dinner treat lol.

At the first glimpse of you, I swear I couldn't move. I wanted to run away to the nearest exit yet a part of me wanted so dearly to stay. I tried my best to look away and I did. I know I did. But now I wonder what if I didn't. Time eased the pain, but it yet to erase it. Someday I know I won't regret this decision. You're no longer on my wanted list.

We're all dragged into this complicated love story.

My heart was empty, I touched him and I felt warmth. I held on tight and tried to stop the time. At that time I was afraid to find out the meaning and to let the feeling that suffocate me grow. But now I would guard his heart. I won't go away and leave him alone.

Now you're no longer my everything and not the place to end my journey. The past is all over and I shall let the rain wash away your traces. Throw away all the poetry about us. We'll never make another memory.

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby. It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby. And I won't give up me to be part of you. It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby. It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby. Before I open up my heart to you.

I belong to me. I don't belong to you. My heart is my possession. I'll be my own reflection. I belong to me. I'm one not half of two. And if you're gonna love me. You should know this baby. I belong to me.

Yes, I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic online yesterday. The movie is hilarious please! I rate it 5/5 and give it two thumbs up. (Y) I'm sure most of you have watched it so I shall not elaborate more. What I know now is: I WANNA GO SHOPPING! :(

Sidetracked, first day of the fasting month went smoothly. Surprisingly, I did not feel thirsty or even hungry which is obviously a good thing. I didn't come out from my room til it was like almost 6pm heh.

Anyways me is craving for dendeng. Yum yum! But I hate going to Geylang during this holy month cause it's gonna be packed with people. And there will be M&Ms like everywhere. Such an eyesore please!

May all your dreams and wishes come true babe! Plus all the best for your upcoming N level examination. Oh and please stop saying you're fat. You're not even near the word fat please. But no matter whatever shape you're in, you're still the best cousin. Oh yeah when wanna get married to one of your M boys uh uh uh? Me wanna makan free uh what else lol. Hehe okay love you like no other mwah! (L)

Kepada semua umat islam di seluruh dunia, saya ingin mengucapkan selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak and menunaikan ibadat puasa. Moga bulan mulia ini dipenuhi dengan keberkatan dan dimurahkan rezeki. Amin!

If don't fast, no need to raya okay. Baju raya semua boleh pergi campak kat dalam tong cina sembahyang and bakar. Kasi hungry ghosts pakai! HAHAHAHA okay lame I know -.-

This year I'm gonna try to fast full heh. I wanna lose weight so badly lor! I know this is just the first day of Ramadhan but I'm already super excited for Hari Raya lol. The colour for this year will be my favourite colour which is none other than: pink. I know I know so cute right please hehe!




Sidetracked, I watched 27 Dresses and What Happens In Vegas yesterday online. I know most of you have prolly watched this two movies. So I shall not elaborate more on them and bore you people lol. But I must say the character Jack Fuller (Ashton Kutcher) from What Happens In Vegas reminds me alot of Faris cause he's so clumsy and reckless. Just like Faris, he still acts like kid eventhough he's an adult. -.-

On totally different and sour note, I am broke. I'm left with 5 bucks in my wallet. Sad lor! Raya come faster leh. I want $$$! Then can go shopping at Cotton On and F21. I need more dresses please!

I have so much to blog about today! Heh first of all, my movie date with Jaja went well. Meet this little girl up outside Cineleisure around 1plus in afternoon. Bought the tickets to Orphan as planned and watched the 2.10pm show. The movie was scary indeed and I rate it 4/5. Shall elaborate more on this movie plus Bring It On 5: Fight To The Finish later heh. (Y) So yeah after the movie, we were very hungry and decided to fill our empty stomach at Puncak in Far East. After lunch, we proceeded to Mum's workplace: Dr Cafe in Ion Orchard for frappe. Nek Siti was there so caught up with her over Strawberry Vanilla frappe + spicy chicken herb sandwhich = yummy please! As soon as I finish eating again, bid goodbye to Nek Siti + Mum and off to meet Syah. Initially Jaja and I wanted to go bowling at Marina Square but Syah wasn't up for it. So we walked around town before resting for awhile at Youth Park.


We then walked to Dhoby Ghaut and settled down at Istana Park. Chilled and camwhored there. Syah was feeling hungry so we went to Plaza Singapura. He bought takoyaki and we walked around the mall. Then something funny happened: we were walking and Jaja saw Sesame Street characters. She then said loudly, "Eh look! BIG BIRD and Elmo!" HAHAHAHA! Syah and I obviously had dirty thoughts and instantly laughed. Jaja joined us laughing and she laughed til her stomach hurts lol. We walked rounds and then I fell in love! I fell in love with:

Suddenly I had an sudden yet intense craving for B&J's Chunky Monkey ice cream. So we proceeded to Ben & Jerry @ The Cathay. Bought my ice cream and we chilled + played games on Syah's iPhone. By 9.30pm, we parted ways with a hug.


I have one word to describe the main character Esther (Isabella Fuhrman) and the word is PSYCHO! She's seriously dangerously mentally disturbed. Her stares are worser than the stares you get from matreps/minahreps. So if she stares at you, please don't go, "what see see" or "what stare stare". Lu confirm + guarantee 100% kena smash to death by hammer sia!

Anyways the film centers on a couple who after the death of their unborn child, adopt a young girl who is hiding a dark secret behind her sweet facade. It is now showing on all cinemas near you. For thriller/horror movies lovers, this movie is a must-watch.

Watched this movie online last night and I rate it 5/5! I'm a big fan of all Bring It On movies and I must say, this is one of the best plus favourite. I don't think it's gonna be priemering in Singapore. At least not anytime soon. But if you wanna watch it, prompt me on MSN or leave a msg on my tagboard. I'll pass you the link :)


Yes, he's the lead actor in the movie. And oh yes as you can see, he's obviously a total hottie! *squeals* In the movie, he plays Evan Whitbourne and he was a basketball player. Hehe wooooo I like!

Sidetracked, I just ended my phone conversation with Eyan. His nephew is so cute please! He's only 6 years old and he wanna date me. Guess the date he wanna date me out? 20 April 2009! -.- HAHAHAHA LOOOOOOOL if only I know anyone who can invent a time machine eh. Eyan uh ni go teach him all this stuff lol. But seriously so cute lah like the uncle. *coughs* Hehe had fun exchanging countless of teka-teki with Eyan and forcing each other to laugh at the answers eventhough it's not funny at all + super lame.

Alright this has been a very long post. I guess no one would really wanna read this bunch of crap but who cares. Okay me wanna watch 27 Dresses online. So ta for now!

I watched Up yesterday online. Russell is so cute please! And he reminds me of Ajie. So round and chubby! Hehe anyways yesterday equates to another mundane day. Surprisingly I didn't die of boredom. Supposed to chill at Woodlands but someone cancelled it last minute. So I rot at home again. I watched Hannah Montana season 2 the entire night before hitting the sheets around 1plus in the morning. I tend to sleep early these days cause the internet bore me now.

Suppose to meet Jaja for a movie date today but she can't make it cause she's going to rebond her hair with her mummy. So will be heading to Woodlands today yay! Then meeting Jaja on Thursday for the movie date.

Sidetracked, Blogger's acting like a bitch again. Stupid mother fucking server! Anyways fasting month is in less than a week. Hopefully I can fast full this time round except when it's the time of the month, of course. Usually I'd only fast on the first day and last day. Hehe hey, at least I'm being honest here.

Had a very mundane Sunday. I think I almost die of boredom. So yeah spent the entire day at home. Did nothing much except eat, sleep and stare blankly at the laptop screen.

Watched the tv premiere of the movie Kallang Roar on Okto. Omg I totally love the sight of hot, sweaty soccer boys! *squeals* Haha but of course, I love musicians and skaterboys more. Anyways the movie was heart warming.

Sidetracked, I think there's something wrong with Mozilla and not Blogger. Cause when I use Safari to view Blogger site, it looks normal. But when I use Mozilla, it's little messy but can upload photos for now. Don't know til when this problem will last.

On a totally different note, will be heading down to Woodlands and chill later on in the afternoon with a friend. And of course, I am sexcited for my movie date with Jaja tomorrow! I haven't decide yet on what movie to watch. There's so many good movies to choose from and I'm confused please. Haha shall ask Jaja to pick one since I'm so fickle-minded.

Faris will be back in two days time. To look forward or not uh? Okay I'm so mean please. Yah lah we broke up. No, we did not break up because of third party. Stop assuming things please. I did not date anyone behind his back and I'm not even dating anyone now. I don't even intend to date anyone. At least not now.

Saturday was well-spent with Apik, Sharul, Syazwan and Elfac. Meet up with the 3 boys first at Skatepark. They were famished so followed them to have lunch at Burger King in Cineleisure. Went to pay Mum a visit at Dr Cafe in ION Orchard. Mum gave us free drinks + Double Choc Muffin yay! Waited for Elfac outside ION Orchard. Not long after, she came and we walked aimlessly. Bumped into familiar faces including Fahfa outside Cineleisure. Headed down to City Hall by bus and hung out at Mirror. Saw Faiz + Ziela and shook hands. By 9.30pm, I wanted to head home but Mum texted me, asking me to meet her in Town. So headed to Town by train and meet up with Mum at Lucky Plaza. My little sister + cousin were watching a movie at Lido so while waiting, Mum and I went to Botak Jones @ Scape for dinner. After the filling meal, walked to Lido to fetch the kids and headed back home by taxi.

Shall grab photos from Syazwan's Multiply soon or I shall just post the link here since Blogger's still acting like a bitch.

Sinar Lebaran was surprisingly enjoyable. Meet up with the girls at Hougang Interchange. Afterwhich, we proceeded to ljs for lunch. Faiz + Ziela came not long after. All the girls were wearing skinny jeans + kebaya top when I was the only one wearing baju kurung. -.- We went back to the interchange to take 74 straight after eating. Arrived at Caldecott way earlier than we're suppose to be. So we had to wait for like 2 hours!

By almost 9pm, we were finally seated and the show started. I must say: Suhaimi Yusof was obviously the life of the show as always. Syed Azmir was hotter than ever! *squeals* And of course, Wawan looks ultimately hot too in baju kurung. I like! ^^

Anyways the show ended around 11pm. Farah and Tini wanted to snap a photo with Wawan. So we waited for him at the reception in case he might show up while waiting for Anna's parents to fetch us by lorry. Unfortunately, Wawan did not show up and Anna's parents were already waiting for us. So we got on board the lorry. Yes, imagine me climbing up the lorry with my baju kurung kain and all. Okay laugh eh please laugh at the image. Sent Faiz off first at Kallang before Anna's parents decided we should have supper first at Changi. So headed down to Changi and I had the famous Nasi Lemak. After supper, the parents sent each of us home straight.

Blogger is being a bitch again and I can't upload photos. Grrr stupid lah! Once I figure out how to use Tumblr, I shall move there. Or I might be just using my Livejournal. I deleted all the not needed emo posts there lol.

Blogger's back to normal (for now, at least) yay! Anyways had quite a nice day yesterday. I was actually lazy to go out. But since it was dearest Nurul's birthday, I went to her crib. Hung out there for awhile before heading down to Pasir Ris with her and Kirah to meet Sodiq. Had dinner at McDonalds before heading straight back home.

Currently I am in an extremely good mood. I think I may have developed a fetish for drummers. Haha alright, maybe just for a drummer. Hehe yum yum! *kenings naik-naik* Sidetracked, sent an email to Faris who's in Malaysia. I don't know if he's gonna read it soon or not. But I am very sure he won't be too happy when he reads it. Oh wells I don't need to elaborate more on that here now. What I know is that decision was entirely mine and he should not blame anyone but me.

Tomorrow will be going to Sinar Lebaran with the best girls + little sister. Next week is packed with plans. Movie date with Jaja which I'm totally looking forward to. Miss her like alot alot please! We have alot of catching up and bitching to do. Hehe sexcited! I can't believe I'm actually saying this but I'm looking forward to the month of Ramadhan too.

Intan: This year must puasa full.
A: Haha betul betul.
Intan: Eleh. Step puasa full only!
A: Relax sudah. I puasa full okay.
Intan: HAHAHAHA okay lah okay lah. Nak amik ni kiss! (instead of sending (K), I sent) (L)
A: Nak kasi kiss abeh send heart. How how how?
Intan: HAHAHAHA alamak. Sorry lah I accidentally give you my heart. I shall take it back now.
A: Haha okay can can. I give you back. BURUK SIKU!
Intan: HAHAHAHA!

Guys are always saying how hard it is to listen everytime the ladies shed tears. But do they actually know that they're apparently the reason we ladies no longer believe in promises?

I know the fact that I allow promising statments to escape from my lips eventhough I know I may not actually fulfill them is driving you and him crazy. You said follow my heart. But hey, my heart's in two pieces. Which way am I to follow? Give me one more day, one more time. One more sunset and maybe I'd be satisfied. But then again, I know what it would do. It would leave me wishing still for one more day with you.

Blogger's being a bitch again and I can't upload photos!

Faris was such a sweetheart when he came to my house yesterday upon hearing that I'm not feeling well and despite us not on talking terms for a few days. I don't know why but there were alot of silence between us. Then I randomly started this conversation:

Intan: Why you don't wanna break up with me uh despite what I did to you? *playing with tissue paper, not wanting to make any eye contact*
Faris: Cause I love you.
Intan: Oh okay.
Faris: You're always the one who always ask for break up.
Intan: Then you always make me angry one.

You have always said the special three devoting words meaningfully. With all your heart and soul, with every reasons to shed, with your heart beating furiously like it will make its way through your chest any second. But maybe the problem is you said those to the wrong girl. Why do I still take those when we both know that we may be destined to be someone else's? Because sometimes we wished the right person would be the one standing in front. What choice do I have to fight back this feeling without hurting anyone?

Yesterday was a terrible day. Grandfather was being a son of a bitch when he didn't allow me to go out. Reason being was he had a huge fight with grandmother. I was really pissed off please. So yeah stayed at home the whole day.

And boyfriend had to make things worser for me! I found out from ____ that he's still in Singapore. His trip to Malaysia is postponed to Wednesday and I'm the last one to find out. I called and texted him so many times. But I get zero response from him. Woah that really shows that I'm the least important person in his life. When he comes online which I highly doubt he will, he's gonna get a mouthful from me.

I thought I wanna rot at home the whole day since I wasn't feeling well. But at the last minute, I decided to follow Papa + Ameera + our little sisters to Marina Barrage. What else if not to catch the fireworks. Typical! Papa was so enthusiastic. He even brought his binoculars with him! Haha so yeah we arrived at Marina Barrage around 4pm. There were many people there and there were alot of pretty kites flying up high. Oh and there were this group of mats right in front of us. They were really annoying please! Around 8pm, Sacha and Audrey came. Caught the fireworks and hung out there for awhile before heading to Beach Road for dinner. I was suppose to sleep over at Ameera's place but I am not feeling well. Down with fever + terrible cough. Sigh! I've consumed my medicine and I hope I'm well enough to attend Susan's birthday celebration later.

On a different note, boyfriend's going away later in the morning and we still haven't talk yet. I'm still thinking whether I should call him up or not. I miss him so much but I don't think he misses me. Since he's not online right now, I think he's still outside with his beloved boys. Meet his friends already where got time think about girlfriend one. Confirm he'll come back just in time for his trip. Sigh!

My day was mundane yesterday. Nothing interesting happened. Went to visit my grandparents at my aunt's house in Macpherson. In the evening, followed my aunt and uncle to Geylang for awhile. Headed home around 11pm.

I am still not on talking terms with the boy. He's going away in a day time but things are still quite sour between us. Saddening I know. Things between the girls and I are not getting any better too. In fact I think it just got alot worser yesterday. Nevertheless I would like to wish Singapore:


I think Singapore is the most safest place on earth to live in. I love living in Singapore very much eventhough I have thoughts of migrating in the future. Hehe anyways while others have the typical National Day celebration by watching fireworks, I'm going to spend the day with my family.

On an even brighter note, I am looking forward to Susan's birthday celebration. Hehe we're gonna have heaps of fun bitching like the other day. Omg I am so sexcited lah now please!

I think I need a little getting used to. A little getting used to the fact that in this entire fabulous world, never can I find someone who will be seriously sincere. To the world, you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world. Trust me A, you should not give up just yet. Not to forget, thank you for cheering me up and tell me that everything's gonna be alright. You're a great friend both to me and the boy. Don't worry, I'm alright and we'll be fine in time.

And to the boy: I am still treasuring the times we had eventhough we're not on very good terms right now. All the laughters and smiles we created. How your annoyance pushed my patience to its limits. Haven't I reminded you to be extra careful because my fragile heart is in your hands? Seems like you never seem to treat it right. I can give you all the chances in the whole world but if only I hadn't feel too upset.

Yesterday was quite okay, I must say. I had to cancel some plans because granny asked me to accompany her spend the day with my aunts + little cousins. So yeah went to Causeway Point and had brunch at Banquet. After the overfilling meal, we walked around the boring mall. By around 4pm, we proceeded to Cik Da's place in Bukit Gombak. Did nothing much there. Played with the little ones and went online for awhile using the desktop there. In the evening, I accompanied Cik Da to buy all of us dinner at the coffee shop nearby. Headed home straight around 10pm.

I'm gonna be lonely for a week starting from Monday. I feel like I'm dead. Something/someone/everything had ripped off my body and took my soul. Okay fine maybe I'm the meanest girlfriend who completely doesn't know how to control her emotions by allowing very unpleasant statements to escape my lips to someone that had stood hand in hand with me for months. Who the hell could tolerate with me every night like this but Faris? I am a self-centered girl who does not know how to appreciate things. I'm so sorry love because I hung up without saying a proper goodbye and of course those three little words. I hate last minute news! Especially if it involves you going away for a week. I'm going bonkers already now eventhough you haven't left yet. I think I might lose my sanity for the week when you actually go!

Nevertheless you'll always be my shining knight who never fail to brighten every single day of mine in both negative and positive way. It is amazing how you could be the reason of my happiest moments and my deepest heartbreak.

And so I've been spending and will be spending excessive amount of water escaping from my body through tears because I am gonna be missing the boy too much. Way too much, I think. Gosh I miss the boy so much already now please! :'(

There is certainly every reason in the world to be frustrated over shits that has been happening lately. I did not know that going out with a new group of friends would create some sickening issues between me and the best girls. Things are getting out of hand and it's suffocating me. Never I did ever thought you girls can be so judgemental. I wasn't upset because of the whole thing. I guess I was more upset on how you girls jump into unpleasant conclusions so fast and smacked me with accuses. But I figured out that I should not get too carried away in this issue. After all no matter what and by the end of the day, you girls will always believe you are the winners. So I am not doing anything about it.

All I feel like doing now is sit by the beach with baby and exchange words that we certainly meant. I'll whisper to his ear and say that he rules my entire world now till end. It'll definitely take my mind off all the shits. But baby is no help and I must say he's useless. All he does is gaming and hang out with his friends. That's why I'm officially a loner now and I might be spending the National Day with the familia. Baby already has plans with his boys and of course I am not important enough for him to cancel them. Well what's new; it has always been like this and I highly doubt it will ever change. I guess this is something I have to live with from now on. In the first place, what's the point of getting attached when your boyfriend still treats you like you're one of his friends? Wait, he treats his friend way better than he treats. He meets me once this week but he meets his friends everyday. He even hangs out with them til wee hours!

Might be heading to aunt's house in Bukit Gombak later. Saturday will be visiting my grandparents in Macpherson. The only event I look forward to is Susan's birthday celebration.

I'm not even a sixteen year old girl and I'm fat.

After you stop gasping in horror, grow the fuck up and deal with it. You don't buy my food and my clothes. So piss on your self-righteous indignation. I pay for my own health care. So please stop assuming I don't eat healthy food and exercise just because I'm fat. While you're at it, stop assuming thin people are always healthy too.

I may not be sixteen but you've seen nothing yet. I may not be the brightest light bulb around but I'm smart enough to find out that you uploaded photos of me and my friend Farah on your wall photos in Facebook. If you think we're the biggest joke to you and your friends, you're a bigger joke to us. Your self esteem is so low that you have to use our photos to boost them? Hahahaha who's the joke now.

If you dislike the way I look, stop whining. Do the adult thing and simply look away. And just because I'm fat, it doesn't mean I'm less than a woman and therefore deserve less than a real man. I am very offended that people think I should have to lose weight in order to deserve an attractive boyfriend and lead a happy emotionally healthy life. I am also very offended that people think fat women should feel grateful that any man would give them the time of day.

AND I AM NOT A MINAHREP. So before you point your finger at me, make sure your finger's clean. Even if I am a minahrep, I'm still a human-being and I have dignity. Well at least I have a life to start with. Please start to bother about your life instead of other people's if you have a life uh. But it seems like you doesn't and that is why you choose to bother mine. I don't even know you and I don't know what's your problem. I don't even intend to know. But really go get a life.

If you have a problem with me, please feel free to add me up on msn cause hatetagging is so last summer. Don't worry I won't curse you online or anything cause I'm born with manners and I communicate with sophistication unlike those minahreps you labelled me as. But on the other hand, I am gonna make you regret your dirty ways, Ameera Fatin.

Enough about lifeless people who suffer from severe retardation. Went to watch Harry Potter and the half-blood prince with Dini yesterday @ J8 Bishan. It was a bore and I fell asleep a few times. But that's okay since it was free tickets lol. Headed home straight right after the movie cause we were both feeling lethargic.

On a totally different note, baby has been a good boy. Like this lah I like! Gonna kiss you alot alot when we meet soon alright. Hehe yummy! I hope things would stay this way. Alrighty me shall watch Gossip Girl while waiting for me love to call.

I had heaps of fun with Faris eventhough it ended with a tiff. -.- So the day started with Faris fetching me by cab from my place to Punggol. I was curious why he fetched me by cab instead of bike. On the way to Punggol, I kept bugging him to tell me what's the surprise but of course he won't. Instead he was being super friendly to the taxi driver and ignored my curiousity. Arrived in Punggol, I helped him unload his guitar and this huge bag from the trunk. I asked him why bring so many stuff, he said just wait and see. We then headed for the open field and settle down right in the middle. He then took out a kite from the huge bag. I was obviously surprised and threw my arms around him. I was speechless and almost teared please! Thus I kissed and hugged Faris for the longest time. Since both of us had no experience in flying kite, we were struggling to fix the kite but finally Faris managed to fix the kite. Then here comes the funny part. After fixing the kite, Faris straight away took out his handphone. Guess why he did that. He did that because he actually Googled how to fly a kite and typed + saved the instructions inside his handphone. Hahahaha so cute like that! We tried to make the kite go up and high but to no avail. So sad eh please! The weather was sunny and there wasn't much wind. Faris could still ask me, "No wind can fly kite or not uh?" HAHAHAHA omg so himbotic please. We then laugh at ourselves til our stomach hurts. We gave up on flying the kite and ended up spending our time just chilling there. Faris bought me my favourite Meatballs Marinara sandwich from Subway for lunch. Shared the sandwich + cookies with Faris. After eating, Faris played his guitar and sang Usah Lepaskan + Mimpi Yang Sempurna. Eventhough he didn't exactly sound like Taufik Batisah or even Ariel Peterpan but who cares. I still love his voice. Oh yeah it felt so good to have Faris kissing me everywhere. Hehe yum! Played Uno cards and even scissors paper stone. Loser gets hit by winner and Faris always wins which caused my hand became very red. He thought I'm made of metal what lol. Feeling guilty that he made my hand become all red, he kept kissing it. By 5pm, we made our way to Compass Point cause Faris was craving for Fillet O Fish from McDonalds. I was still full so I just watched him eat. Then I asked him where we're heading after this. He told me that we should head home straight cause he was feeling lethargic and he feels like he's gonna have a fever soon. Of course I believed him cause he was sneezing here and there.

But then I caught him keep looking at his handphone and his fingers couldn't seem to stop sms-ing as he ate. As soon as he placed his handphone on the table, I took the chance and grab it. Read his msges and found out that he had plans with his boys. They might even be thonning. Woah so much for feeling lethargic and having fever eh! So that's the reason why he wanted to "head home" early. I questioned him and he seemed annoyed. He was like, "Okay okay. I won't go." I was more annoyed than he was please! We ended up having an arguement the whole time when we were on the way back to Hougang. He sent me to my doorsteps and apologised. Exchanged hugs and kisses before we parted ways. Thinking that after the arguement we had he would actually head home straight but no. I called him but he didn't answer any of calls. Well I am not surprised! I got my answer already eventhough he didn't tell me. Obviously he was already with his boys, having so much fun despite he knows how much I dislike them.

After trying to contact him from 7pm, I fell asleep and he finally called me at around 1am. So yeah now gotta entertain him. He's getting a mouthful from me. Anyways will be watching Harry Potter with Dini @ Bishan yay!

Baby, that's the way I want to spend my life.
Looking into your early morning eyes.
Paradise is within those eyes.
Heaven is to be in your arms for life.

Sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that really matters. Surprisingly, I love my life now. Compared to the past when I used to weep over some issues each and every night in silence. Reminiscing the past, that was when I realised friends around me would be there each time when I face depression and needed alot of attention. Despite my horrible attitude, they did put up with me. Thus I thank every single soul that held me through thick and thin. However, one particular person had seen me in my very worse and yet love me still. He determined to hang tough to make me a better person. I couldn't wish for more. I love you, Muhd Faris Bin Muhd Azman.

Thank you for knocking some senses to my head, love. I should not ask for more but appreciate every simplest things. Because when some minor things happen to be absent, life wouldn't be complete. Now I love every single things and people more than they would ever realised. I have enough in hurting the people I love most even at times I wasn't aware I did. This is all because of my selfishness in wanting what I demand for. Let's now be less self-centered. Hereby I proudly say that I wouldn't yearn for more because I have the best gift from God.

I want to be the one he could count on at times of cold. I want him to know that in this world, he's not going to walk alone. I've given him my heart and soul.

Okay just keep your lips sealed about how worser my mushiness had become, readers. Lol anyways on a brighter note, I will be meeting favourite boy later. Wooo sexcited please! I miss him too much that I wish I could make out with him this instance. Hehe yum yum!

I feel like declaring something here. But sadly, my fingers doesn't want to do the talking. Heh heh! It's not as if my blog is alive with readers anyway. But whoever happen to be an everytime reader(s) in my blog, I love you for bothering to spent a few minutes of your lifetime entertaining yourself with the life stories of a lovesick loser.