I had a nice day yesterday eventhough it started off with quite a drama. I wanted to just curl up in bed and sleep all my sorrows away all day long. Unfortunately, Mum asked me out on a lunch date with her in town. So I forced myself to wake up and got ready. Met up with Mum at Orchard mrt before we proceeded to Thai Express for our lunch date. The service was great and the food was even better. After the overfilling meal, I accompanied Mum to send her pants for alteration at Lucky Plaza. Afterwhich, she went back to work and I made my way back to Hougang to meet with Farah. Farah and I then meet up with the rest in Sengkang. Walked around Compass Point and saw the most fugly girl in the world; Fasya. Omg what a joke she is! She looks like an Indonesian maid. Oh and if you're reading this, feel free to flood my tagboard with hatetags. So anyways bought some food from Banquet and ice cream from McDonalds. Found a spot and settle down. We ate and we caught up with each other. Bumped into Chacha bestie and Sue at interchange. Said hello before following the girls for a smoking break. Bumped into Dini too! After the smoking break, we headed home. In the evening, Mum brought my siblings and I out for groceries shopping. Then we had dinner at Subway. Yum yum! I love Meatballs Marinara please! (Y)


Chuck: This isn't you.
Blair: How do you know?
Chuck: Because I know you better than I know myself.

When you love someone, all you want for that someone is happiness even if you're not part of it. I've learnt the difference between holding a hand and falling in love. I've learnt that kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as quickly as they made and goodbyes really are forever. I'm too afraid to love now because I'm afraid to give myself to someone I might lose.

TO YOU:
I'm so sorry. I know you hate me now and I don't blame you. I should've never be friends with you if I mean to use you. I should've never make a promise when I know I could never keep it. I should've never be sweet to you if I mean to ignore you after. I should've never let you fall for me if I don't intend to love you back. You must be strong now. You must never give up.

Trust me; I lead a very happy life just like Blair Waldorf's. As you can see, I have nothing interesting to blog about. I feel like closing this blog down but I just do not have the heart to. Maybe one day perhaps. On a totally different note, Mum's getting her pay soon yay! So this equates to shopping. Heh heh!

That beautifully crafted smile of yours is none that I've seen before.
Has the love that I've given you faded?
All gone with the promised colours of it.

This heart does not want to love again. This heart does not want to belong to anyone. This girl that you claimed that 'you love so much' does not love you. This girl won't look at you in the same way as you looked at her. You're nothing to her. You're nothing to me, Faris. I told you to get a life, to build a brigde and get over it. You did it in just a day. I'm so happy for you, Faris. Goodbye my almost lover and so long luckless romance. I always knew we were holding on to something we cannot hold. I'm glad it has ended. Cause I know sooner or later, all of this would come to an end. Whatever we had was really beautiful and I would never trade anything else in the world for the days I spent with you. The beautiful memories I've created with you and most importantly you. We can still be friends but not more than that.

I've told you people: I don't wanna fall in love. I'll slip but never fall. I'm not gonna waste those three words anymore. At least not now. Please respect this decision of mine. This is how I roll now. Deal with it.

/EDITED!

Someone can say they love me truly, but it didn't mean a thing. This time no matter what you will never see me cry.

Blair: Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out...all of us. But if it's not, then please Chuck, just let me go.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you.
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her and I can't make her happy.

TO YOU:
You'll get someone better. Meanwhile build a bridge and get over it. I told you so many times: I can never make you happy and vice versa. You know it and no matter how hard/much you try, you will never succeed. Give up now cause in the end one of us will get hurt. Don't be fool, baby. You know you don't wanna take the risk. You know you don't wanna be with me. You know you deserve someone better. She'll treat you way better than this. Oh come on, we both deserve better. We might be in love but we're never meant to be. We just happened, baby. This is just a game. Don't be stupid. Lose now rather than lose later. Cause you'll fall deeper and it'll hurt more. I'm heartless, baby. Something has died in this heart. It's you. I'm sorry and this time it's for real. Love doesn't mean we have to be together. In the first place, was it love? Let me just take it as infatuation.

I miss my best girls. Wells will be meeting Farah on Wednesday and give her some moral support for her N level malay oral. All the best and love you! On a brighter note, will be getting my allowance soon yay! Omg I am very elated please. Tomorrow might be paying Ion Orchard a visit with Mumsy. I made a very wise decision just now and I'm happy about it. But apparently the other someone wasn't too happy. Wells he'll get over it sooner or later.

/EDITED!

It's 1.50am and as usual, I am still awake. Webcam-ed with Nizam just now heh heh. Get well soon alright and you're so shameless asked me to send you a very sweet msg. My prepaid's low lah hotstuff. -.- Oh and I totally love your new hair. So much better than the old one. Alright me wanna continue watch Gossip Girl season 2. What's new right! Heh have a good day, readers. Much love.

My Sunday was well spent with the familia. Went to a wedding reception at Serangoon and the food there was great, I must say. Anyways from the wedding reception, we headed to the airport. Afterwhich, went to Mama's house for awhile in Tampines before heading back home.

For more photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/31/weddingairport

Faris is being an annoyance. Well what's new! Hahah okay I sound so mean please. Please stop flooding my tagboard with the word, swalk. -.- No loving kiss for you, Muhd Faris Bin Muhd Azman. Blogger's back to normal like finally, yay!

Oh and my prepaid's low. So in case of emergency, please do not call/msg me. I shall top up my prepaid in a few days time alright. Alright, I'm off to watch Gossip Girl season 2 now. Chuck Bass, Chuck Bass, Chuck Bass! ^^

Happy 17th Birthday Asyraf

Sweet or Sweat was alright. After the gig, headed down to Beach Road with the usuals to celebrate Alfiah's and Tini's birthday. Had sup tulang for early dinner and Ninii bought two small cakes for the birthday girls. Happy belated birthday girls! I hope you two love our surprise although it wasn't much heh. From Beach Road, we proceeded to Marina to catch the fireworks. Sadly we were late so we didn't get to see much fireworks. -.- Marina was infested by matreps and minahreps. So I didn't want to stay long plus I had to head home early. So yeah went home with Ninii while the rest stayed longer there.

For the photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/30/Sweet_or_Sweat

Faris called me just now to ask me a stupid question.

Faris: The place at Pasir Ris Park. Is it swamp or swan? My friend cakap it's swan.
Intan: You asked me call you urgently to ask this? -.-
Faris: Uhm yeah. So hurry, swamp or swan?
Intan: (I wanted to say swamp instead I said) Swalk.
Faris: Swalk? I thought I am stupid. You lagi bodoh sia b. Swalk tu apa sia? *laughs*
Intan: Eh diam uh. I salah cakap kan! You uh ni. Suruh I call just to ask that stupid question. Himbo!
Faris: HAHAHAHA! Dah salah then nak marah orang pulak.
Intan: Shut up you.

Blogger's being a bitch, I swear.

I did not attend Ignite yesterday due to some reasons. But I did pay RP a visit though. Met up with Dini before Syafa and Syauqi came. Thought Farah could make it to the gig with me. But in the end she couldn't make it so I called Faris up. I then decided to give the gig a miss and took bus to Yishun. Hung out at his crib til around 9pm. He was suppose to meet his friends for takraw but I managed to psycho him not to go meet his friends. Heh heh yay me! I was already in a bad mood when I reached his place. Then he decided it was the "right" timing for us to sort out some issues and have a heart to heart talk. I know he was disappointed with me. It was freaking dramatic, I swear. I wept which made him feel super guilty for bringing the issues up. Feeling guilty, he just kept quiet and smoke. Woah guilty can still smoke when he knows I dislike it. -.- Mum was being a pain and kept calling me. I thought she called to ask me to head home so I ignored her calls. She then called Faris and told him that I didn't win Projek Cerpen which obviously made me feel worser. Faris then comforted me with a hug and apologised for everything. It wasn't even his fault in the first place. Soon we were okay. Had dinner before he sent me home.

The weekend is here. I am freaking moodless for Sweet or Sweat later. I just need a break from all the drama please. I am trying to think positive but that's almost impossible. Hello and welcome back intan the paranoia! -.-

TO YOU:
You know I never meant to hurt you. I have my reasons why I hid all those stuff from you cause I didn't want you to judge me. I know the truth really hurts and lies kill you. I wish you heard all those stuff from me instead of her. But I guess it's too late now. I know you're very disappointed. I am so sorry. Maybe we should just go our separate ways since I am causing you so much pain.

Cause it feels so much better now. I'm so sorry baby and please don't leave me for the Starhub operator. HAHAHAHA love you ass! :)

Okay I wanna watch Gossip Girl now. Then hog on the phone with the boy til wee hours, I think. Oh and his blog is so much more interesting than mine now I know lol.

Eventhough I really love you, I am gonna smile cause I deserve to.

Things between me and air liuh basi boy are fine for now. I can't get angry with him for long cause he'll always have a way to make me laugh/smile.

Faris: Baby I wanna go play takraw today. Promise tak balik lambat k.
Intan: Yesterday soccer, today takraw. Tomorrow what? Badminton uh?
Faris: Nope. Kebayarobics. HAHAHAHA!
Intan: HAHAHAHA wth gay sia b.
Faris: *continue laughing annoyingly*
Intan: *try not to laugh* Eh stop laughing lah! I am suppose to be angry with you. Not laughing with you!
Faris: I am not laughing. I am giggling. HAHAHAHA!
Intan: -.-

And baby, please stop making the to ne net to ne net slash Transformer sound. It's cute but it's getting annoying like anything can! -.- You better watch out uh when we meet. Cause I miss you and I wanna bite you heh. Yum yum! *kenings naik-naik* HAHAHAHA mampus.

Alright I wanna watch Gossip Girl season 2 now.

I literally rot my ass at home the whole day yesterday. All I ever do was eat, sleep, laptop and sleep again. Oh and of course watch my favourite Gossip Girl. I've completed watching Season 1 in just 2 days. Now gonna continue watching Season 2. All I could think of now is Chuck Bass. *drools*

I miss my air liuh basi boy many many please! But on a sour note, we are not on really good terms. We will only be if someone decided to act more like his age instead of mine. Seriously baby, please don't bore me again and don't be such a pussy please. Oh and the photos above like the same only! Lol the tie and shirt almost the same.

Ziela just said that my relationship with Faris is just like a Hindi movie. -.- Wait, we're not even in a relationship.

On a totally different note, who wants to go to Ignite @ RP with me this Friday?

NAK CARI PACAR LAGI UH HAHAHAHA!

Please don't mind my pepek face + messy hair. Of course credits to Farah and more photos on her Multiply. I so cannot wait for Sweet or Sweat @ Odiocrib which is this Saturday. I am sexcited please! I have feeling that I am gonna enjoy the gig very much heh.

One minute it's love and suddenly it's like a battlefield. Less than 2 months more! Don't ask me how. Cause I have no idea how it's gonna be without you around. I dare not image how my life is gonna be without you around. But wells I guess we'll find out how is it gonna be in less than 2 months. Can someone please invent the time machine? :(

Random: No one in this world is gonna die a virgin cause in the end love will fuck us all.

/EDITED!


it.s 3.21am and Nizam is accompanying me via webcam. Ignore my ugly + busuk face heh. Nizam step cute only! Okay okay, he is cute. Sudah! Don't kembang eh, "Edward Cullen". Oh and please get well soon, webcam partner!

/EDITED!

Currently at Faris's crib. Don't ask how I end up here lol long story uh. Will do proper update tomorrow heh heh. Watching Gossip Girl online now with Faris. Okay fine, I am watching but Faris is playing his psp. We "fought" over his computer just now HAHAHAHA! Okay shall continue watching Gossip Girl now. Have a nice day!

Yesterday wasn't as depressive as I expected it to be. I could not and didn't sleep the night before but I still had enough energy to attend Afternoon Mosh @ Crawlspace. Anyways I didn't even online the whole night like I'd always be when I couldn't sleep. I was in bed, crying my eyeballs out like someone just passed away. Due to too much crying, my eyes were puffy and my eyebags were huge the next morning. -.- Mum who went to Johor came back around 6am. She bought ramly burgers for everyone so I had my breakfast before I went online. To my surprise, Faris was online and he too didn't sleep the whole night. I knew why and I believed everyone knows why also lah now. Thank you very much for the 58 Missed Calls. -.-

So yeah, chatted with him and we talked things out. So things are okay for now. Actually it wasn't even his fault lah. Heh but I rubbed everything to his face. I am so mean lah can! Anyways he then went to play his stupid Left 4 Dead and left me with boredom. So I decided to post something on his blog HAHAHAHA! Feeling quite sleepy, I went offline and slept for awhile. I was then woken up by my grandparents who just came back from the market. I went online again and chatted with Farah and Faris for hours. Farah had to go offline cause her sister wanted to use the computer. Faris didn't entertain me much afterwards cause he was too busy attacking zombies on Left 4 Dead. The game is stealing his attention away from me! Stupid game uh. -.- Around 2pm, I went to get ready for the gig. Meet up with Farah + Anna at the usual bus stop before meeting up with Faiz + Ziela inside 51. Alighted right in front of Crawlspace. M4R was suppose to perform at 4.30pm but they ended up performing at 5.30pm, I think. While waiting, I managed to catch some sleep. I did not really enjoy the gig cause I was too sleepy and too depressed. After the gig, we proceeded to Geylang to meet up with the others. When we arrived, Aqul + Nini had some issues. We went to have dinner at KFC and left the couple to sort things out. Had my meal before deciding to go home instead of following them to watch kuda kepang. I am terrified of kuda kepang, by the way.

When I was on my way home inside the bus, Faris msg-ed saying he was at Ang Mo Kio. So we decided to meet up for awhile at Hougang interchange. Meet him up at the usual spot before he walked me home. We thought of chilling at the playground for awhile but unfortunately, it was drizzling. Then his mum called him and asked us out for supper plus his sister and dad, of course. They were from some jemputan at Aljunied. I didn't want to follow at first but his mum insisted. I didn't have the heart to reject so I agreed. Mum was okay with it since his parents were around. So yeah Faris took his bike from Hougang Mall carpark and parked it nearby my block while I freshened up. Not long after that, his parents + sister came and we drove to Jalan Kayu for supper. Inside the family car, his mum told me stories about Faris from he was a little boy to his secondary school days. His mum told me that he was quite rebellious and was into skating + his band that he neglected his studies. Heh naughty boy uh lol! His sister who's a year older than me, was rather shy at first. Soon, she joined the conversation and kept teasing her brother. Faris would just deny what they said or roll his eyes. Last time Faris was bullied in school cause he was short HAHAHAHA! The mother was very cute please! Before meeting Faris and I, they had to attend like 3 jemputans. So she was like complaining about the jemputans lol sumpah very funny heh.

Faris and I had eaten already so we were still very full. But to be polite, I ordered chocolate prata and shared with Faris. We forced ourselves to eat and we ate very slowly. Faris ate most of the prata cause I was on the verge of puking, I swear. Plus I was really, really sleepy and felt like yawning every 5 minutes. But I had to prevent myself from doing so cause it'd be very rude somehow. I had to tell Faris that I was sleepy by msg-ing him cause I was afraid that his parents might hear us talking eventhough we were sitting beside each other lol. I was in the state of extreme drowsiness that when I close my eyes, I automatically go to Dreamland hahahaha but thank God, soon they sent me home.

So salam-ed the parents + sister. The sister and I even exchanged numbers cause she'll help me with some surprise heh heh. Don't bother bugging her to tell you eh Faris cause she won't muahahaha! So thanked them for treating me supper. Faris sent me to my doorstep since he had to ride his bike home. Heh exchanged xoxo before parting ways.

Anyways I didn't bring my camera to the gig. So prolly I'll put up Farah's multiply link when she's done uploading the photos.

Aku pulang tanpa dendam.
Kuterima kekalahanku.
Aku pulang tanpa dendam.
Kusalurkan kemenanganmu.

How I wish I could be happy genuinely for you.
You destroyed me completely.
I'm sorry.

/EDITED!

TO YOU:
FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HOT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SOME SKATERBOY? LISTEN HERE, I DO NOT CARE. YOU ARE A JERK AND I DON'T LIKE YOU. WAIT, I DON'T LIKE ALL BOYS CAUSE ALL BOYS ARE JERKS. JUST LIKE YOU! BOYS ARE HEARTLESS BASTARDS. YOU CAN FUCK OFF CAUSE I DON'T NEED YOU OR ANYTHING OTHER GUYS. YOU GUYS ARE ALL NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF LOSERS! YOU GUYS BRING NOTHING BUT MISERY TO MY LIFE! FUCK YOU ALL! DIE AND BURN IN HELL!

FROM TODAY ONWARDS, I, INTAN AMANINA AZMAN, VOWED THAT I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE. I'LL SLIP BUT NEVER FALL! YOU GUYS WILL NEVER SUCCEED IN BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES AGAIN! NEVER YOU FUCKERS!

TO THOSE WHO ARE IN LOVE, FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK LOVE!

/EDITED!

Thanks Mira - it's okay. please do add me on msn :)
Thanks Zee. - i've disappoint you and everyone. I am so sorry. :'(

And Faris, my brother will meet you on Monday afterschool to return your psp. Goodbye.

I, Intan Amanina Bte Azman, hereby proudly declare that I succeeded in baking brownies yay! Oh and a big thank you to Farah for helping me heh. Love you lah bodoh! And the brownies tasted so gooooood please. Oh in your face eh Faris. Now who says I can't bake? Heh now can kahwin already lah. My husband will so die of diabetes cause eat brownies everyday HAHAHAHA mampus. Fuck yeah I am in a very good mood.


Anyways bad photo quality cause I used my hp to snap the photos. Sorry yo. Oh yeah Farah and I proudly named the brownies - BFFB which stands for Best Fat Friends Brownies. HAHAHAHA! Anyways get well soon Farah. Hope your thumb heals soon alright. Curse you big momma! Lol okay no. Next mission: Cupcakes!

Watched Life With Derek full episodes online yesterday. And I have to say Truman French (Joe Dinicol) is so cute please! *melts* Eventhough he's actually a jerk in the tv show but who cares heh. Plus he's so much better looking than Derek Venturi (Michael Seater).

Watched Syurga Cinta last Sunday at Ameera's place and it is such an awesome movie, I must say. This romantic comedy starring the handsome Awal Ashaari *drools*, Heliza AF5 who has very beautiful eyes and a very cute little boy, Hadziq from Tom Tom Bak. This movie is a must watch especially if you want something to laugh and cry on. My favourite scene in the movie is the part when Irham (Awal Ashaari) proposed to Syuhada (Heliza AF5). Omg very sweet please!

Talking about proposal, I randomly looked through Tiffany & Co rings on the net and these two rings are lovely!

TO YOU:
Cheer up please. It's always been you listening to my cries and now hearing your cries pains my heart really badly. I've never thought you could become so weak cause you were always the pillar of my strength. The one who made me strong somehow and helped me go through the darkest period of my life. Now it's my turn to try my very best and help you in every way I could. I know I am not strong enough to help myself. Let alone now help you but like I said, I would do anything to see you smile again.

And you know very well that you're not alone. Cause I am always here for you. Eventhough I can't meet you especially since I am not feeling well, I am just a phonecall away. Please promise me that you won't do anything stupid.

Yes, love kills. But that doesn't mean you should stop believing in it. Trust me, there's always a somebody for everyone. You'll just have to wait for your true love. And please stop saying you're done waiting. -.-

You always irritate and make me mad at you but when you don't, it feels so weird. :(

TO YOU:
You said you did not lie but how far is that true? I am having doubts eventhough it may seem to you that I am treating you normally. But the truth is I don't know if I can trust you. I am having mixed feelings now. And you're somehow not making things any better.

I don't know what to say anymore. I do still like you but you're turning me off, just like your friend did.

-

Anyways I am not feeling well. Screw this terrible cough and sore throat! Wells, it's actually my fault for drinking Honeydew Ice Blended with pearls + jelly eventhough I know I am suffering from a very bad cough. -.- Okay whatever, I just hope this cough would go away very soon.

And I'm left with less than $5 now. When will money start growing on trees? Okay dream on intan. On a brighter note, might be getting my allowance tomorrow yay! Plus I am super sexcited please for this Saturday's gig - Afternoon Mosh!

Saturday was quite an unlucky day for me eventhough it was quite wonderful too. The day started with me meeting up with the usuals plus Tini and Alfiah nearby Hougang interchange. Went to withdraw money first at the nearest ATM before proceeding to Bugis for our shopping trip. Bumped into Aidil Alfian at the interchange and we waved at each other. So yeah took 51 to Bugis and walked into Bugis Street. I didn't buy anything but Tini and Anna bough a dress each. They changed into their new dresses straight away. Since we were all famished, we went to have our early dinner at KFC. Soon after we finish eating, Faiz came and we all waited for Aqul and Nini. The couple came a few minutes later and we were suppose to be at Ben & Jerry's by 6pm. But we arrived there at around 6.50pm and by the time we arrived, DVR already performed. -.- That's the first unlucky incident. I swear I felt really bad and I'm really sorry guys. Talked to them for awhile before joining my friends back.

Went to 7-11 to get a drink before I make my way to Pasir Ris by train to meet the familia for bowling in Ehub. For a few certain reasons, I felt nervous and there were butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want to reach Pasir Ris so quickly but the journey seem very short. I stepped out the train and got more nervous. Not thinking properly, I walked to the interchange. At the interchange, I realised that I forgot how to walk to Downtown East from there. I then started walking in circles around the interchange, mumbling to myself which caught the attention from this guy. He gave me a weird look before walking off. I finally decided to take 89 to Downtown East which was only a stop away. Alighted and walked to McDonalds to meet the familia. I had eaten at Bugis but I ate again to calm myself cause I was really nervous. Our queue number was 108 but the current queue number was only 77. -.- So we obviously had to wait for a long period of time. My cousins, siblings and I were bored so we decided to go to the arcade which was located just beside Nebo and Nurul was on duty. Meet her up for awhile and she told me The Ex was gonna be there too and gonna go bowling with his family. I was praying so hard that we won't bump into each other. But again, luck wasn't exactly on my side. I was busy talking to Ameera that I forgotten all about our little sisters. I realised they were missing and started to panic. I walked around the arcade, searching for them but to no avail. So I decided to walk out to Nebo and asked Nurul if she had seen them. I was so panicked that I didn't realise The Ex and his sister was there. Yeah, they saw me all panicky and very unglam + bimbotic. A very Intan moment, I should say. Embarrassed, I ran back into arcade and finally found the little girls. They were having fun, playing some game when I was all panicky and even humiliated myself in front of The Ex and his sister(who Nurul told me laughed at me). Dragged them out and went down to the bowling alley. When we went down, the current queue number was only 91. So yeah, we decided to go to the arcade again without the little girls. This time the coast was clear and The Ex wasn't around. I wanted to play this arcade game but I didn't know how to scan the stupid card. Gave up and decided to accompany Nurul have her dinner.

Then Mama called saying that it was almost our turn and asked us to go down to the bowling alley. And The Ex + family was there, sitting right beside my family. I thought my bad luck ended there but no, my bowling lane was right in front where they were sitting, giving them a clear view of me humiliating myself again. I suck at bowling, I swear and I almost fell lots of times. Oh and I spilled my can of Red Bull. -.- I felt like a huge joke seriously. Fortunately his family was given a lane quite further away from us soon after that. My family played only one game and headed back home straight. Brother and I slept over Ameera's place in Tampines. I had so much fun eventhough the day was quite unlucky.

Currently at Ameera's place. I had a wonderful yet unlucky day yesterday. Don't worry, I will do a proper update once I'm home.

TO YOU:
I am so pissed off. Now I know the truth, the real you. What's your motive lying to me? Is it a test to know whether I care or not? Or it's a joke? If it is, fuck you cause it's not funny at all. Do you how worried I am when you told me you were hospitalised? Do you know I stayed up late to just communicate with you via MSN cause you told me your hp wasn't with you? This is just a joke to you right?

You know what, your friend might be ignorant but you're a liar. Thank God and Ejan for telling me the truth. Oh and don't bother explaining cause I'm walking away.

Maybe this is why Farah doesn't seem to like me being close to you. Cause maybe she knew the real you way before I did.

"When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most."

I seriously have nothing interesting to blog about except that I realised that I am extremely annoying when I am in the state of boredom heh heh. Anyways just heard from Adam's sister that he's admitted into the hospital. Am very sad now lah of course. I wanna visit him but I can't because no outsiders is allowed and only close relatives due to the H1N1 outbreak. Nabei cb curse you swine flu! Please get well soon Adam :(

The reason why this extremely "genious" skaterboy is admitted into the hospital is because he went skateboarding despite his broken arm and he broke his arm again. -.- I swear I feel like whacking him uh now. Lol oh and thank you kakak for the information on your stubborn brother! On a brighter note, he has his laptop with him and we managed to communicate via MSN just now for awhile. Heh heh now I am a little happy already.

Anyways later going to accompany my aunt plus granny to SGH for some check up. I am sexcited for this Saturday cause will be going on a shopping trip with the usuals afterwhich we'll be watching DVR performance at Ben & Jerry's located inside The Cathay. Saturday with the usuals equal to fun as always!

I love you but why am I closer to him?

I have Twitter on my blog now, yay! *insert excited face* And I've changed my blogskin too. ^^ I am happy now but I am also feeling bad cause (read my other blog if you know the link but of course, you people don't know MUAHAHAHA). I feel like deleting this blog, I swear especially since Blogger cannot upload photos for some unknown reasons. It's really pissed me off, I swear.

Meet the usuals just now and they made me laugh til my stomach hurts eventhough there was some drama heh heh. And I is addiced to the cookies from 7-11. Yummy yummy!

I realised my number of readers has decreased eversince I don't do proper updates here. Wells, I am really sorry but I rather be low profile now. I am trying my very best not to blog about my personal matters here. But it seems like my personal matters is what makes this blog interesting. Now it's just dull and has nothing interesting for you people to read. I may finally let you people know my other blog link someday but not soon.

And to whoever it may concern, I told you - I love your hair and not you please HEH HEH ^^V

Pasal saya suka rambut awak.

He's not anyone's, he's just mine. He looks like himself and not anyone else. Please stop asking.

Still haven't found me right? Here are the gig photos - http://intanina.multiply.com/photos/album/29/Break_The_Chains

A proper update will only be done at my other blog heh heh ^^V

Found me yet? Heheh I know you haven't. Wells, here a hint - it's either tumblr or livejournal. Figure the url yourself. For now, feel free to follow me on Twitter.

My heart cries, my eyes weep. Is there any way that I could exist without needing you? :(

Anyways since I can no longer post anything happy here, I will be away from Blogger for awhile and blog somewhere where you people can't find me. I don't wanna bore you people seriously so yeah, find me if you're smart enough

"One thing I truely knew --- knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest --- was how love gave someone the power to break you." - Bella Swan, New Moon.

Everytime I tried to take a step at all, I see your face in my mind and I fall. I would suddenly smell the scent of you randomly cause I am missing you too much. But what could I do? There is nothing I could do but cry in silence every single night. Sadly, you can't hear me and you can't feel how hideous I've been feeling. I don't even expect you to cause I know I deserve this whole lot of pain. I would like to make you happy and erase all the pain I've caused. But then again, I have failed once and I know I would fail again somewhat. So I shall just let someone else make you happy and watch you from far. It will gruesomely kill me but I'll take that risk cause baby, I love you too much. And you deserve all the happiness you could get.

And my every try at love never works out. :(

Hi hi people. Forget the emo paragraph above, I just created a new How Well Do You Know Me quiz on Facebook yesterday and if you wanna prove that the only thing you know about me is not just my name, feel free to try the quiz - How Well Do You Know Intan Amanina? So far only Nurul and Farhan the pretty boy passed the quiz. The rest all failed lol wells, not their faults uh cause the answers to my questions in the quiz cheat people feelings only heh heh. ^^V

On a totally different note, I feel like baking cupcakes and brownies! Very random I know but I've wanting to bake cupcakes and then give it to someone special. Since I have no someone special, I shall just bake for my girls. And Faris, my lips is like sugar lol you know I know eh. *kenings naik-naik* And I am currently watching the first season of Power Rangers on YouTube. Laugh eh please laugh hahahaha! Faris is jealous cause I love red ranger lol and please eh, you're so not white ranger uh. I am pink ranger uh why lol dream on intan!


/EDITED!

Ya ALLAH. Please give me the strength to face all this. I am not strong enough to face this all alone and without You by my side. I need only You now. No one else but You, my creator. I know I've done too many sins and I know I deserve all this. But please make me stronger to face all this. Please wipe my tears away cause You're the one only who could do that, no one else. Please erase all the doubts I am having inside of me. Please forgive all my sins. Amin.

Don't you know it's hurting me too much? Too much that at times I wish that I would stop breathing. Cause breathing is so hard right now. All I could do is cry, cry at my own mistake and mess. Why did you have to go? WHY?

I had quite a nice day yesterday. Eventhough I didn't sleep the night before, I was feeling extremely hyper. I thought of having breakfast at KFC but it was way too early. So decided to give it a miss and continued watching Gila-Gila Pengantin Remaja online. The movie was seriously hilarious! I was actually crying and laughing at the same time. Around 11am, I felt like going out to watch a movie. So I called Faris up who was still sleeping like a pig, as usual. He answered the phone in a step fresh kind of voice. I then in my most high pitch voice ever, I bugged him to wake up muahahaha! He eventually did and that's when I randomly told him that I wanted to get married lol. Member from sleepy become fresh instantly HAHAHAHA! Anyways asked him if he wanted to watch a movie with me. Of course he wanted to but he wanted to watch Transformers 2 and I didn't want to. So I told him off and said, "If you wanna watch Transformers, you watch alone k." Then I hung up. Lol okay I know my attitude like nabei cb.

Dini was online so I randomly asked her if she wanted to watch a movie with me. She agreed and decided to watch Ghosts of Girfriends Past. Dini wanted to watch the movie either at The Cathay or Cathay Cineleisure. So I went to check the timings online. Sadly, the timings were either too early or too late for us. The timing for Cathay Ehub was just nice but we both dislike going to Pasir Ris. So we decided to watch the movie at Golden Village, Vivo City. Meet up with Dini at Sengkang mrt and took the train to Harbourfront. Proceeded to the cinema and bought tickets for the 5.40pm show. The show was more than an hour away so we decided to fill our empty stomach first. I had a sudden craving for pasta so we headed to Pastamania at Harbourfront Centre. I had Chicken Cheese Salsiccia and Dini had Creamy Chicken. The meal was really filling. After the meal, we chilled at the Sky Park. Around 5.20pm, we walked back to the cinema. Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. It was really touching that I teared. After the movie, we decided to head back home by bus.

On the way home, Faris msg-ed me and asked me if I wanted to meet up for awhile. I was reluctant at first but finally agreed cause I do miss him a little. So yeah, I alighted at the bus stop outside Hougang interchange. From far I could see Faris waiting for me as he listened to music with his huge headphones, singing to himself lol. I swear he looked like an overgrown kid especially since he was wearing his Transformers shirt which I didn't know he had cause I never seen him wearing it before. Greeted him with a huge and tight Barney hug. Sat there for awhile and I didn't know why but I had butterflies in my stomach like as if it was our first meeting. Then Granny called, asking me to buy instant coffee mix. So the two of us walked to Fairprice located inside Hougang Mall. We were like taking our own sweet time and walked around the supermarket. He was being an annoyance and kept doing the actions to Cobra Starship's Guilty Pleasure. -.- It super irritating that I had to bite his hand to make him stop lol. Yes, I bit his hand in public at the supermarket. Bought the instant coffee mix and decided to hang out at the playground nearby my house. On the way there, we were making fool of ourselves and laughing all the way. He kept pinching my fat arm and I kept slapping his skinny arm hahahaha!

This gayfag kept complaining that he was hungry. So we went to buy instant cup noodles first at 7-11 which was just in front of the playground. Bought the noodles and drinks, then sat down on the bench and ate as we talked. After eating, he showed me this funny video on his Ipod. I continued watching a bunch of annoying yet funny videos on this Ipod as he played his psp. His face sumpah cannot maintain hahahaha! Sat on the swings available as we shared stories. Then this boy wanna step romantic and wanna count the stars. Lol sadly, there weren't any stars. Too bad eh you! :P Soon, it was time to go home. He sent me til my void deck and we parted ways with xoxo.

When I love you and so untrue.
I can't even convince myself.
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else.
- Broken Strings, James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado

I'm afraid, just too afraid. I have vowed to myself that I'll slip but I will never fall anymore. A big thank you to Irfan and Farah for hearing me out yesterday via sms. Helping Farah tomorrow to prepare for her N level English oral examination.

Currently, I am searching for suitable reading passage as I am hogging on the phone with Faris. We just learnt a new word which is 'exacerbate' and we kept using the word in almost every sentence eventhough there is no link to what we're talking about lol. And now he's irritated cause I am busy updating my blog and never entertain him. He's trying to annoy me back now by keep on pressing his keypad which makes a loud beep. -.- Okaaaay, now he wants to wear lipgloss cause his lips is dry. Gayfag! -.- And now he giving me lame teka-teki lol. Okay okay, I better go entertain him now.

I've stated it at my profile - if my choice of lifestyle is unacceptable to you, please fuck off. So what if I listen to hardcore songs? It has nothing to do with you, ILAA. If my choice of songs bother you so much, why bother visiting my blog and even tagging? I clearly stated above my tagboard that I will not entertain severe retardation. You should feel honoured cause I am actually taking time to evaluate your tag eventhough I've deleted it. And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. For further discussion, feel free to add me up on MSN. Cause hatetagging is so last summer please. :)

Some people just suck and there's nothing you can do about it.