Everytime she sees him all cool, calm and collected, she loses her breath. Her heart starts pounding and she is painfully aware that she is not over him and he is over her. She can't escape the thought of him. Even in her dreams, he's there. It's not fair how he is gone and how he is moving on so fast while she is still living in the past. But she refuse to let what happened to her make her bitter. She still completely believe in love eventhough the break up shattered her whole identity like death.

A million words would not bring him back neither would a million tears. But she can't seem to move on because the only thing she can find wrong with him is that he can find so many things wrong with her. Sometimes she thinks that she have gotten over him. But when she sees him smile, she suddenly realised that she's just pretending she's over him to ease the pain that he will never be hers again.

They say memories last forever. She sits alone, thinking about him and all the time she had him by her side. She remembers the smiles that crept on her face and the happy tears that ran down her cheeks. She sees his warm, gentle eyes looking at her and she can feel his presence when she close her eyes. But when she reaches for him, she feels him slipping away. It's like her memory is now fading.

I hate him and everything we once were. I've learnt that no one can promise they'll never hurt you because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

I'm craving for Absolut vodka even when I'm not suppose to cause I've promised myself that I will stop drinking. Plus Sunshine do not like me drinking eventhough he does. No fair seh b! *sticks tongue out* Anyways it's past midnight and I am still awake, waiting for Sunshine to call me as usual. He just came back from soccer training slash slacking session with his boys, he said.

Currently I am talking crap online with Fiqqoscar who claimed that he has a mind like Prof X from X-Men. Hahahaha sudah eh Fiqqo! If he's Prof X, then I am Jean Grey lol. Eh no I am Bella Cullen, the newborn vampire. *coughs* Hahahaha okay I shall not make you readers puke.

Oh and before I forget, someone has been spreading my number & email on Alamak. -.- If I ever find out who did this, I swear I'm gonna give him/her a piece of mind. Well, I think I am gonna give him/her a piece of my mind right here and right now.

To whoever you are, please grow up and get a fucking life. A thousand apologies if I am such a pain to you and I bother you so much that you have to spread my number and email to strangers on Alamak. But for your information, I do not live to please you or anyone else but myself. I have to say, it's very nice of you though to spare some time for me and spread my number & email when you could've done something better and useful. Thank you very much but I do not need all these attention. If you're trying to make life difficult for me, newsflash: life is already difficult for me.